Psychologist Agnė Matulaitė – on the experience of her broken heart

A. Matulaitė agreed to share his publication on the social network with the portal People.lt. He also published some photos of his coexistence, which lasted 16 years with Remigijus Šimasčius.

I went through the entire fall without seeing the fall. When I was left alone, the whole world suddenly collapsed. For a while, no one seemed real: a table, my clothes, a chair … I felt slandered and abandoned with pain. I tried to stay in it. Keep your heart beating, breaking your heart.

The meat was very bad. The sympathetic nervous system did not shut down in any way, which meant a constant taste of metal in the mouth, muscle tremors, crazy weight loss. There was a time when it weighed as much as twelve. It looked like he had a fatal disease. It was a disease. A disease of love whose response has just ceased. And yet I worked and tried to keep the children, the dog, and the house alone. One of the scariest experiences was waking up in the middle of the night to find yourself sitting up and crying.

Have you experienced this? I finally started to get out of it. Thanks to friends, family, time … little by little I began to believe that I could survive this too. Somehow.

No, divorce is never good for the children in this case. Children respond to divorce more neutrally or even favorably only when they see that their parents have had a bad time in marriage. Violent. Tortured In our case, there was nothing like it. By the time Remigijus admitted that he lacked joy and an unexpected departure from the house to “think”, the children had heard that their mother was very dear, had no mercy for more than a minute together, carried flowers, drank coffee together and planned trips . Then the whole world fell apart for the children as they knew it until now.

And yet, if you ask me: “Did Remigius and I manage to start a successful family?” Now that I’ve at least been through the initial separation anxiety circles, I can say yes. Really so. We had a wonderful family. Happy family. It seemed to be a very open-speaking family. A union of two very strong people who support each other. For which I am very grateful to Remigijus. Only, unfortunately, this family of ours didn’t last forever, which at least I really expected.

“If you had known there would be a lack of openness at the end, wouldn’t you have created this marriage?” Maybe I wouldn’t have, because in the end, this final pain was really too much for me. Suddenly I felt like I was burying the closest person, our house was surrounded by fire and someone else was trying to steal future dreams. But on the other hand, maybe it’s good that he can’t know that ending from the beginning in any way.

And yet I want to wish you certainty. Diversity of feelings. All feeling palettes. Don’t take a sample from us. Invest in your relationship. Abu. Constantly. Build relationships together. Be responsible. Speak very, very openly and constantly. I want to understand that relationships are a constant dance. That a loved one’s relationship cannot be exhausted “If you really love with all your heart, a relationship is only possible in one direction: in the direction of greater openness and intimacy.”