On the occasion of Christmas, a new book by J.Erlickas: ideas about a person, a country, the world have fallen into the pages



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Silent Night. But rising voices are heard

On Christmas Eve I don’t drink. No way! Well, unless I go to the barn to hear what the animals are saying, I find a bottle of straw hidden in the straw. If you don’t drink, you won’t understand animals. For many people, too.

After a couple of sips, I scooted over to the Christmas table again, sipping dishes I wouldn’t have anyway. Then I go back to the animals …

After some of those walks, my wife tells me that I look very lively

After some of those walks, my wife tells me that I look very upbeat. Manding, because of the latter will try not to fall under the table.

When I visit the barn for the sixth time, I hear the animals speak English, and that is an unpleasant surprise. Chicken dementia, they always dreamed of becoming Maggi cubes. But pigs! …

Annoyed again with a pint from the bottle. I return to the cabin, branched out and exhausted.

“On Christmas night we are different …”, he will explain to his wife.

“You used to be different only on the second day of Christmas … Here, drink the kiss,” he takes over.

I shook my head. Kissels will have to drink vodka again, so run back to the barn? And among the English speakers so uncomfortable. So I thank you and, having said that you want to be with your loved ones on such a night, I fly like a dog. I salute cowards, but Great Dane Tobias doesn’t speak English and licks my face without words. I nod. Tobias is a man …

Trembling, I return to the hut and hide under the branch …
… And on Christmas morning you can already drink from dawn, so the thoughts are more sober. “My pigs went further than me! – I’m glad, because I didn’t learn English myself. But at the same time and anxious: – Will the children of these pigs still speak Lithuanian? “

Something needs to be done.

Having strengthened my spirit by two hundred, I enter the barn. I will use a special yl: I will hit the chickens on the back. If you answer in English, tonight you will lie on my plate.

The hen responds in Russian:

– Horse? Horse?..

I like Pugacheva. Also, I’m better at Christmas and chicken doesn’t go well with vodka. Therefore I wish:

– A white galina!

Then I talk to the pigs. These say for a long time, but I understand everything: the order will be.
I barely … step back down the dog path. It is this place that worries me the most now. So I call Peter and tell him what Tobias did yesterday.

“Of course,” Peter confirms my fears. – Time to chain? .. Then great! All in this way!

Calm down, I go back to the festive table. It needs to be reinforced.
Tomorrow is the second day of Christmas. She is the toughest.

Once again, I am the first to start living smartly new.

I turned my back on real values ​​on January 1 and raised the loneliness sign so high that I no longer speak to myself. The quality of life has increased dramatically.
Unfortunately, the media interferes.

It’s hard to believe, but according to the ancients, in the past no one had seen or heard such media at all. Forests roared all over Lithuania, and you came out to cling to the tree … The tree provided comfort and refreshment, and only decent wild boars, wolves, and other woodpeckers escaped the density of the trees.

And people are constantly leaving the media and beginning to spread knowledge, energy, optimism, festive mood …

And immediately I feel exhausted, including boredom, underwater mood …

Can’t you snuggle up and calm down there? And if they asked you, “Are you bored at home?” I’d say, “It’s been ten years since I got bored. Go ahead.”

But Santa is coming, Valentine is coming. Valentinas is dating, the characters, voters, pests are unraveling …

Humans march, fight, strive, run forward, throw challenges … They fly, explode, run … Sometimes humans search for themselves and put themselves to the test. But more often they seek us out and test us, people. As a result, few people remain. It is believed that in the near future, only humans will thrive here.

But until now man cannot survive without man because he feeds on our attention and hope. He crawls across the stage and starts yelling, “Lithuania!”

When you agree, you will not be able to immediately distinguish if it is a person or if it is already a person. One difference: a person can look in all directions, making it difficult for him to concentrate. And man has points of view, go and take. Then, man realizes and man only marvels.

After catching the man, we threw him into the pond. If it didn’t come out, then it was human.

Days of anxiety

I remember thinking at the end of December: will we have to move forward again next year?

I don’t like to move on. When I see one like this, I always take it back.

I also don’t like those who know everything. I constantly add glue to the news radio.

And I don’t like ordinary people anymore. Who needs them? May everyone be extraordinary.

But extraordinary, I don’t like it anymore.

I don’t like to leave a mark in life

I don’t like to leave a mark in life. I’d like all of these to be arrested by the police.

But I don’t like cops either. I never stop a policeman’s car, so I think I have the right to demand that a policeman treat me the same way.

And yet I don’t like to share my warmth. You share the money! And then I’ll take care of the heat myself.

To experience

I’m sitting on the life enhancer …

A good life requires money and love. I really knew, so I picked up the arrow of love up to three times a day. Improver that will take a bite! Scared, I lowered the arrow to three a week, but the red lights kept flashing.
Although the asset index was going up, I was already more cautious and stopped at 3,000 euros a month. I thought it was normal goodness, neither bandits nor other officials should stop. But a warning came: “Caution! Jealous neighbors ”. And only when I reduced the level of wealth to 600 euros a month, only then did the warning signs disappear.

Climate control … That only non-Lithuanian summer …

What else do you need to have a good life? Navigation suggested choosing a purpose in life. I checked the list. “Government” and “wealth” were the brightest. More in detail: “hunting”, “fishing”, “family” … The last one glowed faintly: “To improve Lithuania.”

I intentionally clicked on this. The machine blinked and sneezed for a long time. I thought it would go out, but I discarded a lot of additional options: “For it to rain”, “For July to bloom”, “For the Lithuanians to ooze” …

And only when I nervously hit my fist did it light up: “Do you really want Lithuania to be better?”, I confirmed. Now the message “Error” has appeared.

I pressed hard for the same thing until finally the machine replied:

“Infected with virus”. And it released countless familiar faces to see on television.

I chose: “No purpose.”

When I opened the health box, I clicked on “Healthy.” The whole life form was red. I chose:

“Semi-healthy”.

I clicked on the mental board: “Very smart”, but over time I realized that the happiness index had dropped dramatically …

It will not continue better with a table of kindness. When I selected “Very good”, “Semi-stupid” came to mind. And what I pressed, the combination: “Very good – very smart” did not appear. “Very rich – very good” – either.

But there were additions. After “Very Smart” – “Move only on side roads”.

And when you select “Very good,” the letters “Your purpose in life is a container” are highlighted.

Why am I a life improver? German, but maybe only for Germans …

I will live as I have lived, it will be better for me.

Juozas Erlickas Book

Juozas Erlickas Book “Beloved”



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