Mykolas from Kaunas loved alcohol more than anything – that’s why he found himself on the street



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One in eight people in Lithuania admits that they double the cup every 2-3 days. Michael is one of the people addicted to alcohol. He says he was still eighteen years old and began to realize that he had a problem. Now Michael has been sober for over two years and says he is happy and healthy.

(7 photos)

PHOTO GALLERY. Mykolas Padaiga

“For me that problem started as a teenager, because there were drinks, parties, the desire to adapt, to be like everyone else, only very early did I notice that I always needed more, always wanted more.

If in the past on weekends I only drank in a circle of friends, then 18 were sometimes so far east that I would “fix my health” in the mornings. Then my hands were already shaking, somehow I realized that something was wrong here, that it was scary, I had to go to receive treatment, “he says.

The man says that those around him also pointed out that he has a problem and needs to be taken care of. “And there were such comments from friends: ‘maybe too much?’, ‘Maybe too often’, ‘think’, well of course I didn’t care then. Like an addicted person, I wanted to continue drinking without being disturbed, ”he recalls.

The bottom is getting deeper

The man has undergone 9 rehabilitations so far, each of which has lasted about a year. He first tasted alcohol at the age of 14, then noticed that the intoxicants made a cramped, un-speaking child into a trusting soul of the company. It was like a reason to keep feeling dizzy.

Being an alcoholic, he said, every time you fall, it gets deeper and more dangerous.

Mykolas Padaiga

“Later, when I went into rehab, I was sober for about three months after each one. I mean, I finish a course here that lasts about a standard year, I get a diploma, I go away and go to work for another three months or build another relationship. I held on for about three more months and then fell again.

And that relapse, that consumption, has become heavier, more dangerous, and increasingly degrading over the years. I had to live on the streets a lot and stay in the dumpsters. The bottom was getting deeper and deeper, ”says Mykolas.

The man has suffered 2 strokes so far, which now makes it difficult to move one leg and the right eye no longer sees the light. Alcohol, he said, has taken away friends, broken relationships with loved ones that now need to be rebuilt.

“Mom, dad and brother are slowly coming back from their loved ones, little by little, after a long time. This is the closest family I have. That process is, of course, slow, I have a lot to correct, we apologize. But I am very glad that the action is happening because I already thought that they would abandon me, turn around for the rest of my life for the things I did. And from friends, now he’s making more and more new friends, who are now friends and people who help me stay sober, say hello, change, take care that I don’t fall. ”

He says that addiction kept him from even getting a higher education because he entered high school a couple of times, but didn’t finish any of it.

The hardest part is confessing to yourself

People with addictions often lie not only to those around them but to themselves. By honestly admitting that he was in trouble, Mykolas was able to grow old after the addiction; then he managed to live on the streets, he felt desperate.

“When the brain fills with alcohol, the thinking becomes different, different thoughts are not adequate. People told me from the side, “you look bad, you need help”, and it seems to me that everything is fine, I am free, happy, I can do whatever I want, and so on.

It is not very easy to get out of that madness and out of that illusion and every time there is the danger that I will not stop in time and that the help or the people who come to receive treatment will not arrive on time. But despite the dangers or all the diseases, today I am healthy.

There is a saying that an alcoholic is the last to know that he is an alcoholic. I admitted to myself, it goes so deep in my heart that I don’t really have a problem during the first rehab. The first rehabilitation was more external, by my parents, by my friends, by those people who cared about me a little more.

Mykolas Padaiga

But the real and deep understanding that I am an alcoholic, that I really need a lot of help, came to me when I was about 25 years old, only when I admitted the truth to myself did a more serious change occur. ”

The man shares that he used alcohol to escape reality, to calm himself down. Each time they returned to addiction, they felt the same: tension, anger, and dissatisfaction with the sober reality.

“I had a hard time transmitting the environment, the people, the stress. In general, I think that all addicted people have a hard time experiencing stress. I closed inside.

I stopped telling the truth to loved ones, or those who were already sober, I stopped saying how I really felt, I put on a kind of mask that was supposed to have everything. flourok Super, and inside he just accumulated all this. Tension, anger, resentment, dissatisfaction with an accumulated sober life.

It has reached a point where it already seems like the only way not to go crazy from that tension or to do something stupid for yourself is to just get drunk. But since I am addicted, I cannot, like anyone else, drink 100 grams to calm myself. As I am an addict, I had to drink for 3 months, every day, non-stop ”, he describes his condition during relapses.

Faith reached out a helping hand

The man says he has rediscovered faith at the New Life Rehabilitation Center, where he now works. According to him, now God has acquired a physical state for him, changed his character.

“Faith helped me a lot, it changed a big part of my heart, my way of thinking, my bad character that kept me leading to bad things. Some people believe that there is something else, unlimited, that we cannot understand, but that we cannot name in any way. Faith, that power can also help you stay sober, ”admits Mykolas.

The man says the “12-step program” at the center has led him to become religious. It speaks of a higher force that can help a person. According to the man, this program helped him see God differently, not only in writing, books, but also helped him take shape.

Recognizing the problem is the road to recovery.

Michael admits that he justified the problem by drinking heavily. He wanted to escape from reality and the dizziness helped him go crazy.

“Alcohol changes your whole state. Addicted people tend to flee from reality because reality is unacceptable, painful, uncomfortable, etc. With alcohol, you replace that reality for a short time. Anyway, I think a lot of people use alcohol for pain relief, and I’m not talking about that physical pain, but the kind of pain that hurts inside: sadness, depression. Alcohol takes it away from you for a while and then adds it.

There were those last of my drinks when I was homeless, unwashed, fasting, bloody feet, unbeatable, when everything was wrong, as soon as I took a couple of sips, I sat up and smiled.

For me, the world was very beautiful when I drank and the reality was completely different for me. With a drink it can be: falling into a closed circle to forget for a while. Forget it for a while, then wake up in the morning and you’re even more pressured by all those problems. ”

Michael says his road to recovery was long and painful, but the result was worth it. You want other addicted people to recognize your problem for themselves.

“The most important thing is not to delay. Because for an addicted person, time is ruthless and angry. And the next thing is to be honest with yourself. You may not listen to what your parents, loved ones, teachers, second parts tell you, but at least you can be honest with yourself. Only by acknowledging the disease can you begin to change something. ”



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