Laima Tamulytė-Stončė – openly about a new stage of life and giving birth together with her husband: I don’t know if it helps more or bothers

– Now your daughter is only a couple of months old. What moods are you in for the holidays?

– I can say that on October 29, when my daughter was born, all the holidays of the year passed. There will definitely be no bigger celebrations in the emotional sense this year. You know, that phrase that you go to labor as a blind date, but you always know that there you will find the love of your life, it is 100 percent. truth. Christmas is already the most beautiful holiday of the year. We are getting better, getting better and now we especially need it, because most of us are mad and angry about the situation. We are even embarrassed to tell someone that we are happy. For us, that stagnant world is the same, because we still have nowhere to run or where to hurry.

– Although many parents are in no rush, they still look forward to the first child to snuggle, turn, sit, smile, etc. Doesn’t it stop you from enjoying this moment?

– I always react to everything naturally. You want to wait for the result without rushing events. We enjoy it, although we see something new every day. On the other hand, I keep a close eye on what we achieve each month according to the books: if we advance, if we gain so many grams or if we change so many diapers a day. It is like a new calendar for my work.

– Control or breathe at night?

– It is. But that’s apparently every parent’s instinct.

– How do you recover after giving birth? There was no postpartum depression?

– I wouldn’t call it depression, but I never thought hormones were that powerful. When you start to observe the wildlife world and see how the sea lion eats the penguin because it is so natural in nature, the tears start to flow, realizing that the sensitivity increases because it never was. You react like a mother. You start to think how bad it is that a penguin falls into the water out of place and not in time, that it can happen to anyone, that we also have a pond nearby that should be fenced in the future. Automatically identify the natural world with your situation. And if we’re talking about my physical health, I got to my feet fast enough. While everyone asks me how I feel at the end of motherhood, I am glad that I was able to give birth naturally without medication, injections, or incisions.

– One of the biggest challenges for young parents is the child’s dream. How is your baby sleeping?

– You know, I find it strange when others say they get up 7-8 times at night. Our baby has a very natural schedule and we first wake up around two thirty, then around five and then in the morning around seven. We decided not to pace the girl ourselves, but to see what her own pace would be. We were a little scared, because it is said that as you use it, so it will be. And we are nocturnal. But she put it all together well. It is true that one difference is that if I myself went to bed earlier after midnight, now at 10 pm I put a blue. I know I definitely need to fall asleep. And it’s not about the beauty anymore, it’s about how I felt human in the morning.

– Find time to shower, read a book?

– So far, all my books are about babies, their care, intellectual games for children under one year. The time for someone else is not that there is not, but it is not necessary. The works have been left behind and they may not make you think. At home we share work with my husband. One time, me, the next time, he drives it. We even managed to dine quietly without forgetting. Even before giving birth, I remember very well when a man asked me: and don’t you forget me? It sounded so ridiculous to me. But I seem to keep my word because we definitely have time to find ourselves.

– Did you mention that you read books and listen to other tips on how to raise a child?

– Oh yeah … Girlfriends don’t skimp on advice. You may not even ask them, but they will advise you, offer help. I listen, I choose what works for me, but each mom intuitively feels what is best for her child. He used to think about what he would have to do with that child when he returned from the hospital. It shows everything there, and what’s next? I even signed up for a remote workshop on how to deal with a baby when I got home. But after that I thought, after all, I am 40 years old, or I really don’t know what to do with the child. Live together and grow. But that desire not to err, to give him all the best, did not allow him to calm down. When we got home, I realized that we felt safe here, the tension had subsided. Sometimes I even tell myself that I’m still learning. Another thing: you may be angry on the Internet these days, but you may be happy to have it, because the materials are in the will, and if you understand several languages, a fairy tale – all possibilities for improvement.

– Today you hear more and more stories of rather sad births. What is your experience of giving birth?

– I was very afraid of that. I drove and thought, God forbid, someone would say anything, I am an absolute fire, and now I am particularly vulnerable. Even the man said: “If someone says something, you just control yourself, because you see how you write, then you don’t care or you go back.” But there was nothing like it. We arrived early in the morning, we fixed everything, they inspected me, they appreciated me, I was surprised that we were the same age and with my first child. Everyone had a bit of a strike like that, plus it was 37 weeks with a few days. Maybe I was lucky. My midwife was also called Laima, a very nice woman who has been working for 30 years, I even forgot my worries. We both landed, walked, and gave birth together. My only friend is a doctor and she said the most important thing is to listen to what she says and work hard only when necessary. He remembered that well. I remember hearing a voice like this: “Laima, now is the last time you focus and push.” And I was wondering how this was last time. Well, if it lasts, you need to make an effort. I concentrated and just broke down. I felt such relief in an instant. I started counting, as if waiting for the New Year, and heard a scream. Even the horror escapes when you remember it. The body of a woman is a true miracle. One moment is pain and the next is happiness.

– And the man participated in the birth?

– Yes, but he said that if it gets bad, it will go away, because if it falls, there will be more problems. But he went nowhere, endured it all and cut his umbilical cord. The doctor turned around and said, “If you don’t cut yourself, you’ll regret it all your life.” The man said, “I don’t know if I would have regretted it because it felt weird, not cutting the bar.” We managed to survive everything together. I don’t know if a man is more helpful or annoying, especially when he says, “Good luck, don’t forget, breathe like they tell you.” I already know that myself.

– Was there something that happened differently than you imagined it would be?

– I didn’t expect a pastel effect. I knew it was, but I didn’t think it would happen to me. I call it this … theory. This is phenomenal. It’s silly to be glad to see him like this, but it’s a sign that all is well with your child. We used to laugh when we listened to moms talk about how much, what and what colors, but now I understand that it is very important because it is one of the best indicators that things are going as they should. It’s not that I wasn’t expecting anything, but Laima won’t be happy about this. And it turns out that he is happy. Still, you survive a lot from everything. When a doctor draws blood from a child, I don’t know who cries the most: me and the baby. These were and are those surprises. Because it hurts a child a lot. Each cry reaches the deepest layers of the heart. I do not know if there is something stronger than the feeling of motherhood.