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After 20 years on the job, he began to experience psychological stress.
Jolanta, who started working as an elementary school teacher more than 20 years ago, hoped this job would last until her retirement. The woman who had worked in it for two decades enjoyed a good environment, a great relationship with the children who loved her and also loved their own work. However, changes occurred, during which the manager of J. Karaliūnienė changed, and since then the situation has deteriorated dramatically.
“I thought my job would never change because it felt so good. I did not expect it to happen as it did. When the coach changed, we began to feel a lot of psychological stress, I did not sleep at night, I did not know what to expect when I got to work. Every time he went there like in the war. In the end, I even went to the family doctor, asked him to give me sedatives or something to help me calm down and continue working, ”says Jolanta.
Personal Album Photo Album / Jolanta Karaliūnienė
At first, J.Karaliūnienė did not think about quitting her job, as she was still convinced that it was her calling. In addition, together with her colleagues, she tried to find solutions, went to various institutions for help, recounted the situation, but, as she says, not only did no one help, but did even more harm.
“A person who asks troublesome questions often becomes guilty. But we were really determined, thinking that we could change something. When you’re still hopeful, you don’t get out of work, but after trying all kinds of tools and seeing that you still hit yourself like a wall, you start to think that you need to do something. Even more so when I start to limp for my health, I wonder if it is worth living a life like that ”, Jolanta does not hide.
J.Karaliūnienė worked in such a negative work environment for two years. After them, she felt broken, more and more often she began to think that she was unworthy of anyone and underestimated herself. Realizing this, Jolanta decided to make a change because she no longer wanted to feel that way, so the only option left was to change jobs.
“My personality was ruined before my very eyes,” says J. Karaliūnien dice openly. – The hardest part is deciding because you never know what will happen when something changes. After all, we cannot take our future as a book, turn around and read what awaits us. Fear crushes all the time, constantly wondering how I would have to live. Also, she was thinking about finances while she was raising two student daughters. It was really a difficult decision, I would consider what to do for myself during the long sleepless nights. “
The hardest part is deciding because you never know what will happen next when something changes.
Jolanta’s decision to quit smoking took several months: in January, she began to think about the necessary changes and already in the spring, at the age of 48, she closed the door to the workplace for the last time. According to herself, it took time to make a decision because there were days when she felt good at work.
“You go to work, it seems that the day goes by calmly, you don’t get stuck anywhere and you think that everything is fine, maybe the situation will stabilize and we can continue working. But the next day they educate you publicly, they invite you on the mat, accuses him, receives unfounded accusations. After one of those events, I left and, most importantly, we left work in two: my colleague left together, so I didn’t feel alone, ”says J. Karaliūnienė.
He threw away his work and went nowhere
Jolanta is open – two years in such a work environment were incredibly difficult and the decision itself required a lot of effort on her part. However, the situation was alleviated by the woman’s relatives, who, knowing how bad she felt, asked for more courage to quit smoking.
“I called some people and asked them how they would rate me if I left the job. I have been told that if I cannot work anymore, I feel very bad, I can really go out. This encouragement and support helped me make up my mind, – says J.Karaliūnienė. – Family members saw as one of those who like to joke, communicate, I became closed, sad, drowned in my reflections and very unhappy. I think they wanted to stop the nonsense and go back to being a normal person. “
Personal Album Photo Album / Jolanta Karaliūnienė
According to Jolanta, the most difficult decisions are made within the person himself, but after making a declaration of resignation, he does not hide the feeling of immense relief. And with the new changes, the woman noticed how her well-being began to improve.
“You cannot imagine what kind of stone fell from your heart. It’s always the hardest part of deciding, and when you make a decision, you feel better. When I went to work, I had a kind of routine, I was constantly on the go, there was no time for hobbies, so it took me a week or even longer to start feeling the change. I started to enjoy the view outside the window, I noticed the flowers, I heard the birds. It seems that one stage has ended and I have started a new one, ”says J. Karaliūnienė.
Although it was extremely scary for Jolanta to go into the unknown, she immediately registered with the Employment Service and submitted her CV to various jobs. At the time, J.Karaliūnienė was still not sure which field she would like to work in, furthermore, she dreamed of at least a short break, so she did not immediately land her first possible job.
“I didn’t know if I wanted to go back to the same field, because the situation is similar everywhere in such institutions,” says Jolanta. – Together I wanted to take a break from everything because I worked a long time and did not have vacations. I tried to distance myself from everything, I wanted to enjoy and live for myself. I read books, I watched movies … “
Jolanta, who has been unemployed for a year and a half, has realized how small human needs can be. At the time, she was benefiting from the benefits she received, and although the family helped her survive, she needed to adjust to the current situation.
“If I have a lot of money, my needs grow. But if I have a minimum of them, my needs will be small, says J.Karaliūnienė. – I enjoyed being able to quietly read a book, have a coffee, go to the forest and listen to the song of the birds. It doesn’t take a lot of money. I even went to the theater to save money. “
If I have a lot of money, my needs grow. But if I have a minimum of them, my needs will be small.
No matter how much Jolanta enjoyed spending time at home, when she received an unexpected job offer, the woman immediately accepted it.
“When you live with minimal needs, it may happen that you no longer want to bathe because aiso I’m still not going anywhere. Why a hairdresser for me? After all, I’m still home. I started thinking like that and then I realized that I was no longer here. I was glad when I had the opportunity to go out with people again, I had to stretch out and get out of the cave ”, smiles J. Karaliūnienė.
Now working on what you ever dreamed of is working
After receiving the offer, Jolanta got a job in the trade; He had experience here before, so he didn’t need to learn anything new. Still, although she felt good at work, after a while she realized that she was still, so once again she threw everything away and went nowhere.
“It was an incredible experience, there was a lot of physical work to train the frozen bones, but I did not improve at all. I went to work and came home; there was no homework, I was tired, but I fell asleep and felt good again in the morning. I turn like a squirrel in a circle – admits J.Karaliūnienė. “Once you get out of work, other times you are bolder and fearless.”
Personal Album Photo Album / Jolanta Karaliūnienė
Jolanta currently has a temporary job: after an employee went on maternity leave, J. Karaliūnienė took her place in the field of culture for two years. Although in a couple of years she may find herself on the threshold of uncertainty again, that no longer scares her.
“I feel especially good at the moment, I have come back to myself. I have many ideas and I know that if I experienced the work for the first time, I will definitely survive now,” smiles Jolanta. – When I finished school, I went to study culture in Vilnius, But someone raised me and left everything. And now, after so many years, I am working in a job that I once dreamed of. I am in my place. “
The period she lived through was difficult for Jolanta, but she does not regret her decision for a moment. On the contrary, the woman is glad that she had the determination and courage to leave a job in which she did not feel well.
“I don’t know what would have happened if I had stayed. I often forget the idea that there is no way out and that everything looks very dark, but you have to wait for a few days and the thoughts start to light up. I remember myself all the time: it hurts today, it will hurt a little less tomorrow, and then I’ll think about what happened here and smile, ”says J. Karaliūnienė.
I don’t know what would have happened if I had stayed behind
In 8 years, Jolanta has not only left work twice, but has also changed her inner self: the woman does not hide herself by starting to think differently and realizing how important it is to listen to her heart. J.Karaliūnienė advises not to be afraid to make changes, but remember that to be successful, you need to move.
“We were raised according to certain rules: you finish school, you go to study, you work, you start a family and so you go around for the rest of your life. Now I think it is not necessary to follow these rules, thinks Jolanta. – I understand very well. well why some people are afraid of change. However, as far as I know who have radically changed something, none of them complain. I have not met anyone who says that things have gotten much worse. “
For people who also feel bad at work but are reluctant to give up everything, Jolanta advises weighing the pros and cons. Evaluating everything, he says, will facilitate decision-making.
“If there are many more advantages, then it is not so bad yet, but if you have enough disadvantages and you live in tension all the time, you feel bad, it is time to take it and close the door.” Of course, once you see things go wrong, you can look for a new job so you don’t have to go anywhere. I took risks, I really don’t have to suffer, “urges J. Karaliūnienė.
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