How to cure a Lithuanian of the “crown”? – Respublika.lt

How to cure a Lithuanian of the “crown”? Photo of Elta

Water

In such a tense situation, Victor, the beloved and revered guru of us all, could not be left out. This time he delighted everyone by giving the nation loaded and structured water. Water is something sacred to Lithuanians, so in the hands of gurus it becomes a cure for all diseases, especially for the coronavirus.

And there is nothing strange here, if anyone dares to doubt! Even in interwar Lithuania, everyone, somewhat intellectually bored, knew that holy water is the best remedy for rabies, which is talked about against the plague and accused: against prostitution. What to talk about diseases like the rose, hard, “Zaporas” or torsion of the joints. There were widespread cases when mature women who drank such water for a long time and sincerely called even boyfriends.

Therefore, the question of whether water, forbidden and still structured, can defend against the coronavirus is meaningless and, I would say, even offensive. Needless to say, it is possible! Whatever the language here, buy and drink, just do not get wet in bed, because it will cause itching and be uncomfortable in front of the wife.

There’s one more thing everyone needs to know: Make sure to pinch your butt with your left thumb while drinking. This is mandatory because energy-charged incubators in structured water are very actively looking for explorations through which they can exit the body. Understandably, the longer they stay there, the greater a person’s resistance to the virus. However, it is not appropriate to keep the thumb there for a long time, it has been scientifically proven that 3-5 min. quite.

Sand

A Lithuanian is a person who is always sad. If you see that the person is sad, do not hesitate, Lithuanian. Science knows that people tormented by sadness are more affected by all kinds of diseases, they are more prone to various viruses, they are not very resistant to the soft, and especially harsh, ideological powers of enemies, as well as songs. Russian.

Understandably, this did not go unnoticed by the vigilant mayor of the capital, who had in mind the idea of ​​curing the nation of sadness once and for all. After long sleepless nights, the treatment method was chosen: sand! It is clear that only he, and no one else, can rob Lithuanians and foreigners who stray here from the ravages of sadness that plagued them for centuries.

That’s what he did. He filled the sand in the capital’s historic Lukiškės square, introduced changing rooms and hammocks, planted a palm tree and so that foreigners would understand what it was about, he also wrote that “Open beach” was here, and not to be too scared – “No sharks “. sharks

And that? Everything went according to plan. The nation immediately forgot what sadness was and how they stuck in the lap. Some, for that deal, others, against! It all did not turn into outbursts of anger, throbbing in the mouth and sniffing out the hatred of hatred, of course, in the carnage of the Seimas members. There is no time or place for sadness!

This is how the second decade of the 21st century was one of the worst epidemics ever to hit people: sadness!

He says that success encourages you not to stop. And that is true. From reliable sources, I had to experience that another unique project is being completed in the offices of the municipality of the capital and will soon see the light: the treatment of dementia by building an enema! Good luck to him!

Larvae

Water, of course, is good, but it is said that you will not be full of water alone. Oh no need! There are for coronavirus and other forms of recovery. Yesterday he showed a memorable show on LNK. Somewhere in the center of Lithuania there is a farm that raises up to 1000 tons … of fly larvae a year. The greasy white worms that lurk in huge bathrooms may not be the most charming creatures in the world, but does it matter? After gaining some weight, they are roasted over a fire and eaten. Of course, not all! Most of it is ground into flour, which is used to bake cutlets, meatballs, enjoyed by all kinds of European gourmets and unsuspecting people, who spam hamburgers and hot dogs every day.

Turns out those pretty larvae are a great cure for coronavirus! As the head of that larva farm reported, eat and you will be healthy, the quartz will not stick! And if it infects you (no one offers a 100% guarantee anywhere), nothing terrible – drink Victor’s water and the recovered fly larvae will destroy that crown like a sewing bone.

If the kind compatriots see any deception here, I can guarantee that there is nothing like it. Vietnamese, Koreans, Chinese eat everything that falls apart. And nothing! Hello joyful, breaking world longevity records and still flying into space, 5G communication systems are being invented.