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B. Sabatauskaitė spoke about the violence experienced in the immediate environment in the debate “Violence against women: causes, forms and solutions” held at the Seimas.
He emphasized that almost everyone faces violence in one way or another, so the issue is extremely sensitive.
“All the anxiety around the issue of violence shows one thing: that we are all without exception, directly or indirectly, victims of domestic violence, whether in our families, if we have loved ones who experienced violence, or if we deal with the consequences of that violence because we grew up in a violent environment, “he said. “We are all dealing with some of the consequences.”
Violence is caused by gender inequality
And while alcohol is often said to be the cause of violence, experts working to prevent violence emphasize that it is only one of the catalysts for conflict that police are aware of, but not the root cause.
No one knows of the many cases of violence that take place “silently” behind closed doors.
And although it is possible to look for various reasons for this, to talk about the fight against alcohol or other destructive actions, B. Sabatauskaitė emphasizes that “domestic violence arises largely from inequality between men and women.”
Photo by Sigismund Gedvila / 15min / Birutė Sabatauskaitė
“This is what the Istanbul Convention says: that domestic violence and violence against women are a consequence of gender inequality, but the Istanbul Convention says that we have many other cases of inadvertent violence, including against the elderly, children and the same men. ” , He emphasized.
Still, women are the most prone to violence.
Last year 55.8 thousand people were registered for domestic violence. police calls, after which more than 7 thousand. pre-trial investigations.
For the most part, they are (8 out of 10 victims in the immediate environment) women. And almost 80 percent. suffered from an intimate partner.
In addition, surveys show that one in three women has suffered violence at some point in her life.
Gaps in education
B. Sabatauskaitė raised the question why gender relations and equality are not discussed with young people.
“We haven’t talked since school about what a harmful relationship is, what a healthy relationship is, how we recognize violence at an early stage, or how to recognize in a relationship that something you might be doing is hurting someone else.” she scored.
Photo Scanpix / Student
The director of the Center for Human Rights pointed out, for example, that young people perceive the feeling of jealousy in a distorted way, since they learn it only in romantic films, which present jealousy as a natural part of a relationship, as an expression. of concern.
“It just came to our knowledge then. <...> To justify my jealousy and tell him that he knows, I often ask him where he is, where he will go, how long he will run when he returns; These are not signs of concern, they are signs of control.
We can share, show our love and affection in other ways by asking how we were doing, liking what you did, encouraging you to get to know yourself, while still doing it, ”he described the distorted attitude towards relationships.
VIDEO: Violence against women: causes, ways and solutions
Participated in the same discussion Daiva Baranauskė, director of the Frida Foundation, agreed that the focus should be on the younger generation, which will not change on its own.
According to her, a sociological study carried out by the Frida Foundation entitled “The quality of romantic relationships between young couples” showed that young women tend to tolerate violence.
Photo by Sigismund Gedvila / 15min / Daiva Baranauskė
“Girls, educated students, engage in relationships with violence and control, including physical and psychological violence – unequivocally, only to be in a relationship so as not to lose that partner, to be in a relationship – ‘status'”, the study promised ji .
Statistics don’t show the truth
B. Sabatauskaitė stressed that the visible statistics of domestic violence do not show the real situation with whom and to what extent women are confronted.
“When we talk about domestic violence, it is very important to talk about systemic violence. Whoever obtains statistics is very easily recognizable physical violence, almost all the cases that are investigated are cases of physical violence ”, he says.
When we talk about domestic violence, it is very important to talk about that systemic violence.
And that, according to the specialist, is just the tip of the iceberg. Because before the physical outbreak, there are other forms of coercion, various forms of control.
“At the beginning, there is some control over certain little things: limiting contact with other family members, with friends.
A person, usually a woman, loses the people they can turn to for help when something happens. After that, it is a shame to ask for help, because you have not been in contact with a person for a long time, you no longer have the circle to support you ”, B. Sabatauskaitė described the expressions of violence that were not noticed. for the public.
Photo from 123RF.com / A woman who suffers violence
Women are under control
To illustrate the complexity of the problem, the Center for Human Rights shared the story of a woman who recently met.
“When you say, every morning at five in the morning, you have to be ready to have sex with me or else you know what it will be like. You have to hug me every night, pat me on the belly, you have to dress only in underwear and clothes that allow me to touch you, wherever you want to be, ”said B. Sabatauskaitė.
A person, usually a woman, loses the people she can turn to for help when something happens.
And in that case, he stressed, there are no records of direct violence by the police.
“But when I listen to it, my hair twists and screams, just thinking about the kind of horror a person should experience in such a relationship,” she said regretfully.
All kinds of controls, through clothing, cooking, expression of dissatisfaction, threats to do something for children or the woman herself, are included in a vicious circle, says the specialist.
And when a woman disobeys, trying to object, outbreaks of physical and sexual violence also begin.
Photo by 123RF.com / A woman who suffers violence often feels powerless
“It seems to me that the Istanbul Convention also speaks implicitly about this – that we need to have a coordination and prevention mechanism and talk at all formal levels with children from an early age, what does gender equality mean, healthy or harmful relationships, for of course, personalized content for them, ”he said.
Unfounded fear of the Convention?
The director of the Center for Human Rights hinted at the essence of the Istanbul Convention and deplored the unfounded myths about it.
One of the most striking is the gender dimension.
The Convention establishes that domestic violence must protect all groups in society, regardless of their “gender, gender, race, color, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, belonging to a national minority , property, origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, health status, disability, marital status, migrant or refugee status or other status’.
Opponents of the Istanbul Convention often appeal to the exclusion of the “social dimension of gender”.
Some argue that ratification of the Convention will close gender gaps, while others fear there will be more than a dozen genders.
We need to have a mechanism for both coordination and prevention, and we need to talk to children from an early age on a formal level about what gender equality means.
“And everyone here is somehow shaking and saying, this is precisely the attitude that will lead to … and confuse a few, or 72, or 76 or 16 genders, and you cannot list them, in the end just one man and a woman, “he scoffed at the arguments against ratifying the Convention.
But later, B.Sabatauskaitė emphasized that the situation is not only ridiculous, but also worrying. Because there is almost no organized resistance floating in public space.
For example, a petition against the ratification of the Convention is currently located in the virtual space. It was signed by more than 10 thousand. women.
“I think first of all there are people who give false information about the Convention and then people are fired out of motivated fears. It is normal that we do not know something when we feel fear and anxiety, especially when someone deliberately incites it, ”he said.
Photo by Luke April / 15 minutes / Birutė Sabatauskaitė
And he questioned whether the majority of society really wants to fight domestic violence, or just says so. Because such a fight against the Convention seems to show a different trend.
Lithuania signed the Istanbul Convention in 2013, but has not yet ratified it.
On Friday During the debate, the spokesperson for the Seimas, Viktorija Čmilytė-Nielsen, stated that she would strive for the ratification of the Convention during the term of this Seimas.
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