He listed the risks faced by children raised in alcoholic families.

“Addictions are a painful problem for our society and our families. If both parents or one parent abuses drugs, children suffer significant harm. Not only is their right to grow up in a safe environment violated, but also it harms their future. Figuratively, the wings needed for flight are clipped. I urge everyone – educators, doctors, social workers, neighbors – not to be indifferent to the suffering child. Look, listen, lead to help the child so much as well as the whole family. It is also very important that the range of services for families facing the problem of alcohol and other psychoactive substances is expanded in the municipalities, and that special attention and specific assistance be provided to the children of these families ”, Says Ilma Skuodienė, Director of the State Service for the Adoption and Protection of Children’s Rights.

There are mobile teams with addiction specialists working in all departments of the Service in Lithuania. There is a lot of work for these specialists, because a large part of the violations of children’s rights occur in families where alcohol is abused, according to a press release.

“The goal of child rights advocates is for children to grow up in their biological family and provide them with a safe environment. The environment will not be safe for the child as long as the parents legally abuse alcohol. Therefore, it is done everything possible to help these families change their lifestyle. Our goal is to encourage, motivate a person to heal, change habits, see the benefits of sobriety, because it is not enough to go through a treatment with some method, it is need to change inappropriate friends, ways to spend free time, learn how to deal with stress without chemicals, relax, ”says I. Skuodienė.

Children’s Difficulties Growing Up in Alcohol Abusing Families

That children living in families with alcohol abuse face a wide range of difficulties and challenges is confirmed not only by the practical experience of addiction specialists, but also by the research conducted. According to the research “Revelation of alcohol-related harm: experiences of children”, carried out by the professor of the Vytautas Magnus University, Ilona Tamutienė, and the specialist in addiction diseases of the State Service for the adoption and protection of the rights of the child , Dr. Peištarė, almost half of the children surveyed live or live with named alcohol abusers who they or their loved ones had experienced physical violence.

“When my mother was drunk, she was always violent towards me, although when she was sober, she only tried to ‘hurt’ me with words, not hit her then,” Ain años, 16, told investigators.

“When drunk parents bark, hit, I cry, I am very afraid that my sister will not hurt me so that my father will not kill my mother,” said Luke, 13.

However, the most painful experiences of children are not related to physical pain, but to the psychological violence and negligence experienced: “It was more painful for me that I really did not care about anyone …” [Giedrė, 15 m.]; “It just came to our knowledge then. For example, once my stepfather hit his mother hard, she ran barefoot into town in winter. After that, the whole town said it was my mom. It was a shame and a lot of pain.” . [Rita, 17 m]

Almost all of the children in the study reported experiencing neglect – that is, a feeling that no one really cares. The emotional abandonment was accentuated by the indifferent behavior of the parents: leaving the house, not caring for the child, not communicating with him.

Consequences of difficult life on children’s emotions and behavior

Addiction specialist B. Peištarė says that younger children find it much more difficult to talk about their experiences, they tend to hide family problems. In adolescence, children who grow up in families that abuse alcohol are more critical of the lifestyles and behaviors of their parents. They compare their families with others and feel frustrated, their feelings of inferiority, frustration with those around them and with themselves. As a result, some teens in the study admitted that they felt “pressured”, ugly, morally neglected. It is not uncommon to go from experiences of parental misconduct to experiences of “self-abuse.”

The research showed that in these families, there are significant role changes, when children assume the roles of adults: managing the house, taking care of family finances, taking care of younger siblings, maintaining order in the home. The constant tension in drunk families about whether mom or dad will drink again, or maybe get sober, are the thoughts and feelings that plague kids every day. One girl called life “a fight to survive another day.”

Growing up in an alcoholic family is a lifetime damage

According to B. Peištarė, a child growing up in a family of alcoholic parents faces emotional, cognitive, behavioral and other problems, because drunk parents generally cannot meet the child’s needs.

“If one of the parents or one of the parents is drunk, not only the physical needs of the child are met, such as food, clothing, healthy sleep, work and rest regimen, having their own space at home. The most important emotional needs of the child are unsatisfying: secure attachment, the need to experience unconditional care, acceptance and love, a sense of security and stability, freedom to express feelings and desires, not to be rejected or punished for it, the need to play, be spontaneous and creative, the opportunity to be happy, a happy child “, – emphasizes B. Peištarė.

According to the specialist, a child who grows up in a family of drinking parents experiences more stress than happiness. He tries to adapt to existing adverse conditions from an early age and this affects his psyche, damaging his health.
“A child quickly learns from his environment from an early age. Recent research shows that a child who grows up in a condition that is unfavorable to healthy development experiences toxic stress. Toxic stress is associated with repetitive negative experiences, stressful situations (such as fights, quarrels, tense home environment, etc.), which lead to changes in the structure and function of the child’s brain, impairing the development of the hormonal system.

Damage to a child’s psyche as a result of parental alcohol abuse is difficult to detect. It often manifests itself in the form of emotional and behavioral disorders in children, inappropriate behavior in a child, and later in an adult. Providing help to young children growing up in alcohol-abusing families is complicated by the fact that problems are often hidden. As a result, the term “hidden damage” is used to describe this damage, says B. Peištarė.

According to the specialist, drunk parents tend to behave in a destructive way, the control of impulses responsible for making the right decisions decreases. As a result, in such situations, the child may be punished not so much for actual misbehavior as because the parent loses self-control more quickly.
“Researchers have shown that after experiencing more than six harmful experiences in childhood, these people live shorter lives in adults, three times more likely to have lung disease, 14 times more likely to commit suicide, 4.5 times more likely to experience depression, 11 times more likely to start intravenous drug use, 4 times more likely to start having early sex more often and 2 times more likely to have liver disease, ”says B. Peištarė.

Children who grow up in families with alcohol abuse need specialized help and services

According to the defender of the rights of the child, Lithuania could rely on the experience of foreign countries: children who grow up in families that abuse alcohol should be perceived as a specific group, it is worth developing a strategy to reduce the harm of alcohol to children, to define this damage. legally.

“It is very important to create a model of early intervention in the family, which would help reduce the probability of deepening family problems and the possible extreme scenario – the separation of children from the family.” Municipalities should create and expand specialized services for children growing up in families with alcohol abuse, – emphasizes B. Peištarė.

I. Skuodienė, Director of the Service, emphasizes that it is very important to strengthen the knowledge and capacity of all specialists who work directly with families to identify possible parental dependence on alcohol, the symptoms of this disease and its impact on family life and of children. “It is necessary to give specialists who work with children and families the opportunity to constantly improve their qualifications and become familiar with innovations in this field,” says I. Skuodienė.