[ad_1]
Genutė Lukoševičienė participates in 15min SPECIAL on the occasion of Mother’s Day, where inspiring mothers’ stories are expected. If you know of a mom who could also inspire, motivate, and surprise 15-minute readers with her story, please email a short description. by mail: [email protected]
Don’t be afraid to volunteer: if you have experienced an incredible event, if you have needed extraordinary courage or strength in life, if you have helped someone and are proud of it, if you want to share your experience and inspire, warn or motivate others, or maybe just doing exceptional activities, we will be waiting for you all! The journalists, having selected the stories, will contact you personally, talk to them, share your story on the portal for 15 minutes, and during Mother’s Day they will award one of you!
Due to the drunken mother, he found himself in an orphanage.
Speaking of his story, Laisvūnė Sivilevičienė admits that his story was very banal, he abused alcohol and knows almost nothing about his father. Freedom isn’t even sure who her father is, because her mother had more than one partner.
“My mother, a 9-month-old baby, dragged me to various landfills and garbage dumps. Once the neighbors did not hate me, they called the militia of that time and I found myself in the Kaunas orphanage. I had no loved ones, so I was completely alone, “says Laisvūnė.
L.Sivilevičienė was ill and speechless from a young age, so the orphanage educators were convinced that the girl was dumb. Today, however, Laisvūnė believes that the problem stemmed from the psychological difficulties she was experiencing.
“I graduated in social pedagogy and psychology, I work with children of similar destiny, so I can say that there are two reasons why children do not speak. This can be due to physiology, such as when the tongue is too short or other organs are underdeveloped, or due to psychology. It happens that children stutter, and this tightens the brain so much that, protecting itself, the child does not speak at all. In my case, there was no stuttering or physiological reasons, so I guess it was safer for me to do it, ”says L.Sivilevičienė.
From time to time, parents who wanted to adopt would come to the orphanage and gather the prospective pupils during the exam. Laisvūnė still remembers with horror the usual selection in the days when she washed, combed, neatly dressed and groomed children according to their height.
They told us to stand up well, and then the adults would come to see and choose what they would like to adopt.
“We were told to stay well, and then the adults came to see and choose what they would like to adopt. When we were little, we did not realize the displeasure of the process, but the older children who lived together remember it, – says L. Sivilevičienė. – Some children were active, brave, they approached everyone who came. And no one looked at me. I just remember that I always wanted someone to play with me. “
During one of those examinations, Genutė Lukoševičienė came, who could not have children with her husband, so she decided to adopt. At first, the couple considered taking care of the boy, but eventually changed the decision, thinking that the girl could help with the housework when she grew up.
“They had come 5-6 times, inspected everyone. The educators kept saying that I did not speak, I was sick, mean, it was not clear who I was, they encouraged my parents to take the child. I do not know exactly what caused the My mother’s heart leaned toward me, but she said she felt she had to carry me, ”Laisvūnė recalls.
As the couple were in their early 40s, they did not want to take the baby and take care of the diapers, and they believe the teenager would have been a problem as well. Freestyle was an intermediate option. Having started dating caregivers at the age of three, the 7-year-old was already living with them and traveled to first grade from a new home.
“At first they took me to spend the summer, they spent a month with them in the village, they took me on vacation together, I even had to stay in Belarus,” recalls L.Sivilevičienė. – As for what I talked to my mother, she said she was very sorry for her. I looked very sad: tiny, the skin was even blue because all the blood vessels and capillaries were visible, there was no layer of fat ”.
Personal album photo album / Genutė Lukoševičienė with Laisvūne Sivilevičienė
The connection with Genute was established from the early days.
After moving to a new home, Genutė began teaching the girl to speak. At first, he constantly read a fairy tale and learned to pronounce words, and very soon Laisvūnė pronounced “mother”; since then, he has made his way to Genuta.
“They showed me a brochure with buratin and they said ‘bu-ra-ti-nas.’ We repeated maybe a million times and I started talking a little. My first word was “buratin” and then “mother”, recalls L.Sivilevičienė.
Freedom does not hide that from the first days her relationships with her tutors were good, which, according to her, could be due to attachment. She was the only daughter growing up in Genutė’s family, and Laisvūnė even remembers the first moments when she went out for a walk with her parents, holding hands.
“I immediately had a connection with my mother, she was my friend, I shared everything with her. I was a good and obedient boy. Mom baked pancakes, sat me on the windowsill, and I sat quietly. Now you will not put my three year old son on the windowsill in any way, he will not sit for a minute. And I was waiting in silence, ”says L.Sivilevičienė.
Freedom describes Genuta as a very good, discreet mother who never screams. Although the girl was good and did not need to raise her voice, Laisvūnė says that even when you win he knew his mother would not be angry.
“My mother and I felt safe, I knew that she was my refuge, my friend, and I could not even think that my mother would not understand me, listen to me, she helps me. He supported all my ideas, encouraged creativity. He has always been on my side and I knew it clearly, ”says L.Sivilevičienė.
Photo from personal album / Genutė Lukoševičienė
Even now that Laisvūnė already has children, they keep talking to Genute about what a good girl she was and how her mother had no problems with her. However, Laisvūnė is convinced that it was good because it was always positive and encouraging.
“If they asked me to sew at school, we both sat down, she helped me sew until evening. Now the relationship with children is different, efforts are being made to develop their independence and, in fact, children are forced to experience twice the stress than they should. I remember when I was 18, I thought that I had to go to Vilnius to study and I would not live in Kėdainiai. I went and thought about what my mom would tell me. And he didn’t say anything, only later sent food and money during his studies, ”says Laisvūnė.
No matter what I did, she always supported me and I always knew it. My mother, who has completed four classes, still writes with errors, but she had what some college moms don’t have.
After going to Vilnius, L. Sivilevičienė got married and had children, but even then Genutė went to visit her together and helped take care of the children. After a while, Laisvūnė emigrated to Norway, but after 5 years he decided to return home precisely because of his mother.
“His health has deteriorated and that was the last point that made me have to go home and have enough to roam, not money, not work, but my mother.” I think that says a lot – says Laisvūnė. – I did what I did, she always supported me and I always knew it. After completing four classes, her mother still writes with errors, but she had what some college moms don’t have. “
Personal album photo album / Genutė Lukoševičienė with his grandson
Genute is an example of a real mother
One of the reasons Laisvūnė especially valued Genuta is that the girl knows what it means to grow up in an orphanage and be abandoned by her real mother. That’s what he discovered when he was 17 years old and decided to find out how he ended up in the orphanage.
“The educators kept telling me that my mother was dead and my father was missing. For a long time before I knew the truth, I was tormented by the question of why my mother left me. Is there absolutely no loved one who can take care of me? It was later learned that the mother was not dead at the time. I met uncles, aunts, I learned the true story from my mother’s brother, “recalls L.Sivilevičienė, adding that he had never met a biological mother due to her death.
When Laisvūnė hinted to Genute that she wanted to find her birth mother, she received her mother’s support and a promise to give her all the help she needed. According to L.Sivilevičienė, this was another sign of Genutė’s good heart. Although Laisvūnė learned the true story of her parents, she admits that she is not to blame for her life.
“I never get mad at a real mom. When I was 15 years old, I believed in Jesus Christ, the church helped me a lot and nurtured me spiritually. I knew that God forgives, I am forgiven, so I must forgive those who have sinned against me. It was not difficult for me to forgive, I just had a lot of questions about my past, ”says L.Sivilevičienė.
I knew that God forgives, I am forgiven, that is why I must forgive those who have sinned against me.
Laisvūnė does not recall the few years she spent in the orphanage as a painful experience; according to her, the light of the orphanage was the children themselves, with whom the girl spent time. However, she admits that she sometimes wonders how her life could have turned out if Genute hadn’t appeared in her life.
“We and the children fantasized about who we wanted to be. When I was little, I told everyone I was going to college. God has given me a lot of good people around, not all of them are so lucky – admits L.Sivilevičienė. – However, it would have been impossible to start adult life independently while staying in an orphanage. Here’s the order: You turn 18, you stack your belongings, and you tell them to leave. Now at least it makes a profit, and in my time it wasn’t. “
Speaking of her mother, Laisvūnė is confused and admits that Genutė is an example of a true mother. He sacrificed himself all the time for his daughter, spared no effort or money, and gave her everything he could.
“The kids made fun that my mother wasn’t real, so once I came home crying, I told it all. And my mother says: “Let him come and touch me.” I am very grateful to her for seeing what others have not seen, she is always able to explain, to be around when necessary ”, L.Sivilevičienė does not skimp on beautiful words.
I am very grateful to you for seeing what others have not seen.
Laisvūnė assures that other mothers of Genutė could learn patience and understanding, her mother’s good heart manifests itself in the fact that she takes care of others first, not herself. To this day, Freeport calls his mother several times a day, commemorating all the holidays together.
“Remembering me when I was a child, you might wonder why a woman needs such problems, and she didn’t even have such thoughts. I don’t think there is love right away, but she didn’t want to go the easy way when she could choose another child. Many families provide material assistance to adopted children, but they do not know how to communicate with them, they do not make contact. Several years pass, you look at them and you realize that there is no family there. And we went and we are a family. It was created by my mother, who was the backbone and supported the four corners of the house, ”says Laisvūnė.
[ad_2]
