E. Venskutonis, who is raising one or three children: I have no right to separate for them



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When his wife Julia went into eternity more than a year ago, not only did the two oldest children remain on the man’s side. The newborn baby had to be shaken in his hands.

E.Venskutonis is open, it took a long time to get used to life’s changing circumstances, remember a lot, and learn a lot again. During this difficult period for the family, Daniel’s father, Justin, a decade old, and baby Christopher, just over a year old, received great help from his own mother and his wife’s parents. If they weren’t, the man says, it would be almost impossible to keep up not only making money for basic needs and responsibilities, but also paying enough attention to the children. There is constant maneuvering between these two priorities, but they seem to succeed together.

Get help

– Evaldas, one had the responsibility of raising three children. How is your daily routine now?

– The baby gets up quite early, around 6.30 am. We water it with milk, and then the son fell asleep for about another hour and a half. Older kids get up around 8.20 a.m., brush, brush their teeth, eat breakfast, and go to the computer when classes begin remotely. After them, we eat with the children, then they do the homework.

When living conditions change, I think you should look at your property first: the children.

It is customary for us at home that children should read the book of their choice daily. Sure, there are cheating days, but the older son doesn’t need a particular translation, he reads a lot. It’s a little more difficult with the intermediate question, but we still include reading in our daily routine, at least 50-60 pages a day. Then the kids’ free time begins: they play a variety of games together or separately, and sometimes they just rush home (smile). Your baby’s daily routine is a little bit simpler. Sleep twice a day, eat, play, go to the patio. My son started walking about three months ago, we didn’t walk too far from home. Also, the weather has been pretty cool lately. We usually spend time in the backyard.

I fall asleep quite late. Of course, it depends on when I get up, but when I wake up, I wash, eat, and sit at the computer to manage my planned affairs. I reply to letters received. Then I tidied up the surroundings near the house or indoors, because we recently moved to a new place in Vilnius district, there is a lot of work to do here. I also go to town to buy groceries or handle work-related matters. In other words, depending on the situation, I do what needs to be done at that time.

– Does someone’s extra hand save you in the house?

– The biggest helpers are my mother and my mother-in-law. We take turns caring for the youngest child because I can’t always be home. As I mentioned, you must take care of food supplies, manage them at home, or go to business meetings. If I were completely alone, I would barely catch up: I’d suffer time for the kids or for work.

Discover time and yourself

– When the responsibility of caring for his three children fell on his only shoulder, the youngest son was still quite young. After all, these babies not only need to wash, change diapers, but also breastfeed …

– Fortunately, we live in an age where we can find solutions in any situation. For us, as an alternative to breast milk, a mixture of milk saved us. We still use it, with a completely different composition, with more minerals and vitamins, to feed the baby. I think the son gets everything he needs, although the milk is not natural. I hope all useful materials for him enough.

– What other challenges did you face at that time?

– The appearance of a new life in the home is a change in the rhythm of all normal life. A small person in the family demanded to reshape habits, break down priorities differently to adapt to the rhythm of the baby’s life. Many things have changed, from new furniture, such as a crib, a development table, the advent of the house to the return to the times of diapers. I had to get used to washing my baby, changing his diapers and feeding him; I had to remember everything.

– And is there enough time for personal leisure now?

– I find time for myself. Of course, it might not always be that way, but I find out because otherwise I probably wouldn’t feel that way. When there was no quarantine and the world spun at a normal pace, I would often find someone to accompany me to the movies, for example. I’m sure you can find time to take a break at home, watch a movie, or just take a break.

Attention received

– When the newspaper journalists spoke to you a year ago after life’s painful events, you asked as many people as possible to offer you job offers instead of support. Could you get more than usual at the time?

– Yes, as they say, I did not order fish, but fishing rods. My seasonal activity can have a number of events in one year and another in others. The number of events is really increasing. I also observed this trend last year. I don’t know if the increase in the number of events was due to the public asking me to give me more work or if my many years of experience have produced that result; it is difficult to predict. But I had some intentions: some people called to tell me they wanted to give me a job to help me out a little. Others, by contrast, said nothing, but as I spoke, I felt the direction in which the conversation was unfolding. It was nice to feel the support, which is very important to me.

– Has the increased workload of organizing and organizing events helped you?

– Working for me is an activity that does not allow me to think about strange things, because when I immerse myself in work, I focus on the result. Be it my job of organizing and organizing events or any other activity. Once I’m there, I have to focus and give myself 100% on that particular activity. Otherwise, poor quality results will emerge, and since I do not justify poor quality, I always focus responsibly on the activities I do.

Quarantined

– However, the quarantine in the country again interrupted employment plans. What impact did the absence of events have on your quartet?

– The financial situation is always a very delicate subject, especially in a difficult moment like this. We try to save as much as possible and spend as little as possible. I have a reserve of money that I spend on loans, utilities and other payments and food. However, each reserve has a feature to run out of, so I tried to maneuver to survive a period when there were no events. It’s a challenge, and I’m still very sorry about that. I see the bill is running out, it’s scary that the money will run out soon. Compared to the statistics of the last few months compared to last year, I have missed the opportunity to organize between 10 and 14 events due to quarantine.

– Have you had to say “no” to your child’s wishes many times for the last reasons?

– If we talk about food, I try not to limit it, unless, of course, they are sweets that are not vital for human life. For about two years, we’ve had a tradition in the family: sweets on Friday, the goal of which is to eat as little sweet as possible during the week so we can make up for it on Friday (smiles). Children honestly keep this promise: there are also such Fridays, when even they themselves forget that it is a day of eating sweets. Therefore, sweets are not a priority.

– Even before the interview, you mentioned that this time you would not like to order “fish, but fishing rods”: opportunities to earn money …

– Every event that complements my family budget with finances is relevant to me. This year, when the opportunity arises, I will try to organize as many events as possible to make up for what I lost due to quarantine restrictions. I am doing well in this area, as evidenced by comments from people online and the number of contracts. I have an audience of my clients that adjusts to the format of my events. So if there are people who are in doubt at the moment and have not decided how to plan the event, what to choose, I would be happy to invite you to speak with me. I will not sell anything, I will only consult.

Helps to maintain balance.

– Evaldas, and how do you manage to work and focus on children?

– My mother and mother-in-law help me keep my balance. This is how I do my job, and when I know there will be a day off, an afternoon or a night, I will ask the children what we will do, will we go somewhere? We plan our free time very quickly: we invite friends to our guests and organize, for example, a night of board games. And if the weather is good, we go to the city with the children, we rent electric scooters, we go to a cafe, we have lunch, we eat ice cream. I know that when there are no events and meetings on the schedule, I always dedicate that time to the children.

– What advice would you give to those parents who found themselves in a similar situation to yours? Where do you get determination and optimism?

– When living conditions change, I think you should look at your property first: the children. My children are my greatest asset. I understand that it is only because of them that I have no right to break and stop. Thanks to them I will continue my activities and live. I have to try to raise a child. They are the main reason for my life.



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