Due to the pain she experienced as a teenager, her mother quit and this daughter came back – nowhere to hide

Although her relationship with her family members ended, although she no longer wanted to deal with them, Rimante (name changed) still had to meet her mother face to face – she, who had reached retirement age, sued her daughter and demanded maintenance.

“Children must take care of their parents in old age,” Rimante’s mother, Natalija (name changed), told the court in her lawsuit.

The woman assured that she and her spouse have reached retirement age, receiving very small pensions that are not even enough to “cover basic needs.”

“I do not have real estate, there are two vehicles registered in my name: an 18-year-old Volvo and a 12-year-old Citroen, my husband and I live temporarily in an apartment with friends who have gone abroad” we have no other accommodation where we can shelter ourselves, and we cannot rent due to the unsatisfactory economic situation “, – the woman said that she must also take care of the disabled son of the spouse from the first marriage, and her daughter” is trained, works as a financier “.

A pensioner with a monthly income of only 68.7 euros asked the judges to award a monthly allowance of 200 euros to her daughter. At the time, the daughter categorically disagreed with the claim and said that she saw no reason to stay with her mother, who had ruined her life, so she just wanted to forget her childhood and adolescence as soon as possible and not even see to his mother. and stepfather in her eyes.

The judges who examined the case presented in the Vilnius City District Court regarding the granting of alimony joined the pensioner: they awarded the daughter 100 EUR in monthly installments, indexing the amount of support annually according to the procedure established by the Government, taking into account account inflation.

This case revealed the great pain that afflicts a woman who has given up her mother and has now started a new family – Rimante, who works as a financier, says she experienced not only psychological and physical violence, but also sexual abuse as a teenager.

“When I was born, my father performed the necessary military service in the Soviet army at that time,” Rimante told the court. – I was little, so I can’t remember those things, but I know that when I was born, my mother married a lifestyle incompatible with marriage, so my parents’ marriage broke up. After her dismissal, I went to live with my mother, after a while she married another man, my mother gave birth to three more children, but one of them is disabled. “

According to Rimante, the mother did not take care of the disabled child even in 1994. She decided to place him in a residence and in 2005 wrote a statement in November formally abandoning her disabled son. At that time, her other children are healthy, they are now adults, and they live an independent life.

“The Civil Code stipulates that a court can release adult children from the obligation to support their disabled parents if they discover that the parents have avoided fulfilling their duties for minor children,” Rimantė said in its response to the lawsuit of the mother. And she explained why this provision of the law should apply to her. “My mother did not take care of me, she did not raise or take care of me, and since she avoided my mother’s duties when I was a minor, I think I should be relieved of my obligation to support my disabled mother.”

According to Rimante, although she grew up with her mother, she said that “she and her stepfather only met minimal physiological needs, they bought food and clothes.”

“My mother systematically treated me cruelly, did not create favorable conditions for full development, did not prepare me for an independent life in society,” he said. – Both my mother and my stepfather used psychological and physical violence when I was a minor. When I went to school, my stepfather tied me to the table with my stepfather’s grade, hit me with a metal buckle or wire, and cursed me with uncensored words. I was degrading my dignity. “

Furthermore, according to Rimante, the physical violence against her was used by her stepfather: “Everything happened in the eyes of her mother.”

“There were no learning conditions at home, every day from early in the morning to late at night I was forced to do the preparatory work related to their business of selling artificial flowers, and if I opposed them, they would punish me with a belt or some hard object, I hurt my hands, “Rimante cannot hurt. Forget until now. “Mom and stepfather didn’t take into account that they gave me homework at school; business was their number one priority.”

A woman who had spoken at home about the hell she had lived through as a teenager said that she had hidden a great secret in herself for many years, but now that her mother had demanded that she stay, she could no longer remain silent.

“The cruel behavior in our family was also manifested in the fact that my stepfather constantly sexually harassed me, all this my mother knew, but she looked at him with rejection, she did not take any action to stop the violence, sexual harassment,” Rimante she thinks her mother didn’t love her. “It’s sad, but I have to admit that I grew up in a violent environment, I was constantly exploited, traumatized both physically and emotionally by my stepfather.”

According to her, although her father was abused more frequently by her father, her mother tolerated the treatment of her youngest daughter: “He did not take any measures to stop this violence, the constant use of corporal punishment, especially sexual abuse. This inaction of the mother should also be treated as cruel treatment towards her son, the psychological traumas that he has suffered will last me a lifetime ”.

That’s why Rimante left the house as soon as she came of age: “I left the house, our relationship broke down and now that she is older, she remembered me.”

Until her death, her daughter refused to support her mother: that she has to pay monthly contributions to the bank for the loan taken, as well as insurance premiums, a lot of money is spent on her son’s education and there are other necessary expenses . in the family.

Rimante thinks that her mother is lying, saying that her average monthly income is € 68.70: “It is likely that she has an income that she does not specify, and that her spouse has an account in a Spanish bank. My mother is to blame for being in this situation at the moment, she had to think before and take care of her future old-age pension. “

Faced with the disagreements between mother and daughter, the court sided with the retiree who is currently fighting and pointed out that her parents’ support should be taken care of not only by Rimante, but also by her other children who live independently. And if they do not agree to contribute to the support of the mother, she can also sue.

According to the court, Rimante did not provide any evidence to support the explanations that the mother did not take care of the daughter, did not take care of her, nor did it appear that the mother knew that her husband was harassing the younger stepdaughter. There was also no evidence of physical violence against a minor.

On the other hand, the defendant herself stated that the plaintiff trained her, cared for her when she was ill, spent her birthdays, camping, etc., so there is no reason to trust her testimony about the violence and sexual harassment used. “The court stressed.” Furthermore, it is not very clear why, if, according to the defendant, she had been subjected to violence or sexual harassment, the defendant did not tell her true biological father or neighbor. “

“ The lack of proof by the defendant that the plaintiff eluded or fulfilled her maternal duties against the defendant’s interests as a minor, taking into account the economic situation, income, assets, marital status, credits of the defendant and the parties’ monthly taxes, that the defendant has a minor child to support, that the plaintiff is retired, needs support, that the plaintiff has not provided any proof that the plaintiff has support from her other two adult children, the plaintiff has not provided that the plaintiff is entitled to alimony and, of the other two, the court for healthy adult children satisfies the claim in part, ”stated the Vilnius City District Court in the decision.

This decision was confirmed by the Vilnius Regional Court, which examined Rimante’s appeal.

“The Civil Code stipulates that adult children must support and care for their supportive and incapacitated parents; The constitution enshrines the duty of children to respect their parents, care for them in old age and preserve their legacy, said judge Virginijus Kairevičius. – The content of this constitutional duty consists of the natural obligation of children to take care of their parents, that is, to receive full assistance, to support them, as well as to provide them with adequate maintenance. When people duly fail to comply with this obligation of their own free will, the right to alimony will be defended before the courts, granting and recovering in each individual case the amount of alimony demanded of the parents of the adult child, taking into account their or your financial situation.

According to the judge, the court has the right, not the duty, to free children from the obligation to support their parents: “Avoiding the duties of minor children can manifest itself as avoiding support, upbringing and similar care, but Failure to perform duties must be the fault of the children. The complaining parents have avoided the duties of the children, the defendant must prove.

The judge who dismissed Rimante’s appeal emphasized that she had not provided sufficient evidence to show that “her mother did not take care of her, did not take care of her and was aware of the sexual harassment of Rimante’s stepfather (if any).”

Although the neighbor of Rimante’s mother testified about this at the court hearing, the court did not rely on her testimony: “The witness did not see any kind of physical, psychological or sexual harassment used against Rimante, but only knows the possible circumstances evidence of the accused. words. There is no evidence in the case other than Rimante’s testimony that he was subjected to violence and even more so to sexual harassment. “

The court emphasized that while there was a dispute between the mother and the daughter, it was not established that the mother did not care, did not raise her daughter, or did not adequately fulfill her mother’s duties.

It should be noted that Rimante herself stated that her mother raised her, prepared her, took care of her when she was ill, spent her birthdays, camping, and the fact that, according to the appellant, she was forced to work in her mother’s artificial house . flower business, does not confirm that the mother avoided fulfilling her duties for the youngest daughter ”, – Judge V. Kairevičius pointed out that Rimante’s mother needs support and the daughter must take care of her.