Conflict between administration and parents at the prestigious Vilnius gymnasium – thinks that many people can cope with it

According to Delfi, the father of a boy in trouble due to science, his son graduated well in the eighth grade at another school and was admitted to Vilnius Žirmūnai Gymnasium after the competition. But there were problems when he got depressed in the 10th grade.

“He did well at first, but when he became depressed in the 10th grade, his learning outcomes began to deteriorate. When the disease worsened, the son was treated for 3 months, attended a day hospital, and did not participate in the learning process.

As early as 11th grade, we were under pressure from the school administration to leave this gym. The doctor treating the son did not recommend changing schools due to adaptation difficulties in other schools, thanks to his certificate we stayed in the Žirmūnai gym. The doctor, in turn, suggested to the representatives of the school administration that they try to change the school themselves, to see how they would succeed in the new place, ”recalled the father.

He also indicated that the boy would like to repeat the 12th grade course and finish the 12th grade at St. Christopher Gymnasium, which belongs to his district gym.

“It just came to our knowledge then. With Edmundas Grigaliūnas, director of the Žirmūnai Gymnasium, in May. At the beginning of the 19th century, we agreed that the son would receive an eleventh grade graduation certificate and then have the opportunity to finish twelfth grade at any Vilnius gym.

However, we were not informed when it would be necessary to obtain such a certificate. When in June. I contacted the principal, he told me that it was too late to issue the 11th grade certificate and that they would give us a certificate of completion of the secondary education program, ”said the father.

According to him, the 12th grade certificate is with negative evaluations of all subjects and the annual average of all subjects is 2.67.

“Such a certificate prevents him from studying in the 12th grade at St. Christopher Gymnasium. Appealing that the well-being of the student is more important than following the letter of the regulation, Principal E. Grigaliūnas refuses to help us in this situation.

For all this, we ask that you mediate so that the son is issued a certificate of completion of the 11th grade instead of the 12th grade ”.

According to his father, he approached the Ministry of Education, Science and Sports (ŠMSM), as well as the Municipality of Vilnius, regarding this situation and hoped that the publicity would help to resolve the situation.

“Because the son did not participate in the learning process in grade 12 for three months, the certificates are awarded.

Our whole family will be waiting for help in a difficult situation, they want a humane approach, not a bureaucratic one, as evidenced by the gym director Žirmūnai, ”he said.

Director: The miracle did not happen

E. Grigaliūnas commented on Delfi that he is aware of the situation. He also asked Dad not to “talk nonsense.”

“This is the situation, he has already written to the minister, and we have written down the responses at all levels. The certificates have been prepared for a long time, already on June 25, but no one comes to collect them. This is not an eleventh grade certificate issue.

The point is that the student’s record records that the child has not finished school. Her parents planned all the time that maybe it would end somehow. It was also suggested to leave school due to depression to return to the fourth grade of the gym of the same school ”.

According to the director, the parents resisted, pulled to the end and waited for a miracle.
“It just came to our notice then. Your son learned absolutely nothing because they are not advanced in anything. The parents and the interdepartmental commission suggested taking a break from learning, but the parents did nothing.

But when it all happened, they began to seek justice. I see that Delfi is searching, writing to the minister, informing the municipality, but the laws are the same for everyone ”.

According to E. Grigaliūnas, you cannot write only the 11th grade graduation certificate, because the student was registered to take exams, finished the school year, and therefore was issued a certificate that he graduated from the 12th grade .

“The situation is very simple, the laws are the same for everyone. Another girl who was in a similar situation successfully returned to twelfth grade and successfully completed our school.

We really work with that boy’s parents all year, we also had a meeting of the child welfare commission, we offered to first put his health in order and then go back to school. But the parents hoped their son would somehow end, and that “somehow” it ended up like this, “the principal said sadly.

He assured that this situation would certainly not be different and the school would not change its decision.

What are the reserves? It would only be a violation of the law, not a reservation. If a child enrolled in the twelfth grade at the Žirmūnai Gymnasium for the whole year to study, but did not attend school and now all of a sudden we have to say that he did not study. It would just be a violation of the law, “said the director.

However, when Delfi spoke to the student’s father again, he said it was strange to hear such words from the principal that the law was being broken.

“They told us in the registry that there is absolutely no problem to change any data. It would only take such an elementary decision from the gym and for the registry to get the data that he did not actually graduate from twelfth grade.

Everything and I stumbled on the gym management’s decision. We just didn’t get the information in time to get that May 11th grade graduation certificate. Perhaps it is a kind of revenge, but I would like the school to care more about the well-being of the child, his future, than about bureaucratic things. We are probably not alone in this, “he lamented.

Psychologist: there are several ways for people with depression

The adolescent psychologist Edvard Šidlaukas, when asked what is the most common procedure when a student becomes depressed, said that there are several ways.

“Avoiding school is one of the so-called psychological disorders or problems. So the child needs psychotherapy. On this basis, you can go to a psychiatrist to diagnose the disease, or to the PPT (Pedagogical Psychological Service – Delphi).

Then there are several ways for such a child: it is called having special educational needs. The title is assigned and, if those needs are not difficult, a facilitated program is created to reduce stress, facilitate income or individual needs, ”he said.

According to the psychologist, this is not the same as easier, but in general, everything can be different.

“There can also be individualized family counseling when teachers come to the student’s home, work with him privately, and so on. This is such a simple scheme here.

What can the school do in turn in such a situation and why does such a situation arise? The first thing is that a child is often exposed to some form of school abuse. He is used in kindergarten to be free, to play, to enjoy life, his childhood and his abilities. <...>. Discipline and certain frameworks appear in the school ”, said E. Šidlauskas.

According to him, this does not seem acceptable to all children and not all “bend” smoothly and often perhaps too abruptly and rudely.

“In a word, the child does not fit, and if he does not fit, that frame begins to” blur “and hurt his soul. Then there is the hatred for science. This usually occurs in the first and third grade of primary school and affects children most often. It remains for the rest of the scientific life. In other words, allergies to science.

First, the school should emphasize the human connection, that is, positive emotions, some comfort, convenience, fun. When this has happened and when there is already a connection between the student and the teacher, there is already a good sense of class, good humor, then it is possible to introduce some rules little by little, and not the other way around as is generally done. They hit and then give a little gingerbread ”, explained the psychologist.

E. Šidlauskas says that primary school teachers know that their task is to form that sense of order and structure that when a lesson is carried out, when they can raise their hands, when they can stand up.

“Yes, the child is taught a new language and rituals. It is important to do it in a fun, warm, human way, not to translate, punish or intimidate. Sure, that conflict with the school can happen later, but most of the time it’s kind of a halter.

When parents or teachers of children with such problems approach me, the children tell me that the school is like a prison, a hell, a place of violence for them ”.

He also added that these days grades in themselves are very important, more than knowledge, which is why some children fail to adapt to the traditional school order.

“Certainly there are examples of someone studying in twos, but after school they recovered and thrived. The same banal example is Einstein, so it would not be worthwhile to focus only on the notes, it is only an abstraction that helps the student to verify it for himself, “said the psychologist.

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Emotional support online

The Crisis Management Center (Antakalnio St. 97, Vilnius, www.krizesiveikimas.lt) has mental health specialists on call, with whom you can consult upon arrival or via Skype without prior registration and free of charge. On-call psychologists will be available Monday through Friday from 4 pm to 8 pm, Saturday from 12 pm to 4 pm. Working hours: I, III, V 16.00–20.00 All additional information – on the page www.klausau.lt Assistance to relatives of suicides: self-help group, frequently asked questions, literature and other useful information on the page artimiems.lt Division of Child and Adolescent Crisis Intervention. Open 24 hours a day. (8-5) 275 75 64.