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Still, something is moving. Records of depression, emotional difficulties, eating disorders, and perfect shots tricks unmasked on Instagram have started to rise on social media, whose origins are the ancestral board. Talking about the uncomfortable aspects of life will be called openness. While we could participate in a discussion about what openness is, how is it different from telling the truth.
Psychologist Jeremy Sherman contributes: openness – the ability to accurately express one’s feelings and opinions; the truth is an exact reflection of reality. “It just came to our knowledge then. I was very unhappy, trapped in a toxic relationship and my records were the opposite. I didn’t try to fool others. I tried a lot to fool myself,” says Rasa Jusionytė, the magazine’s founder. and the platform “What are people doing?”, who now shares open records on Instagram.
Rasa Jusionytė, founder of the magazine and platform “What do people do?”, Now shares open recordings on Instagram.
We talked about openness on social media with various personalities who more or less often share the dark sides of their inner world there. Are we trying openly?
“I believe that true openness begins when you are ready to suffer and conflict” (Oleg Shurajev).
– What does it mean to you to open up?
“Don’t lie anymore. The media likes happy people without problems, examples of what is supposed to be possible. Even extreme. Life stumbled on its knees, looking for examples in the social space that would testify how to get out of it. And everyone is exceptionally happy. Then I realized how much they lie to us every day and I decided to change something. Starting with your profile. There were already many people gathered there. I thought, if you compare, that it is with my real version, not synthetic , impossible for me. ”(R.Jusionytė, founder of the magazine and platform“ ¿Qué hace la gente? ”)
Vaidotas Valiukevičius, vocalist and leader of the group “The Roop”.
“For me, openness is an expression of unity and freedom. Society becomes more united not through the masks of uniformity, deception. Openness sometimes shows that we are different, but it also unites us.” (Vaidotas Valiukevičius, vocalist, leader of the band The Roop)
Neringa Rekašiūtė, photographer, author of the poetry book How to Swim Through Pain.
“Be authentic with yourself, don’t hide behind a falsehood that is more convenient for others, but not for me. By being open, I live at peace with myself and with the environment ”. (Neringa Rekašiūtė, photographer, author of the poetry book How to Swim Through Pain)
“I don’t think there is a special state when you open up. I am quite open all the time. For a long time, I saw that lying and telling lies was worth it. But after working with myself, I decided not to lie to the environment. I am also open to ignorance, stupidity, anger. Openness goes hand in hand with self-reflection and criticism, when your beliefs and internal attitudes become the object of criticism. Openness becomes a good tool when you realize your limits, you admit mistakes, you analyze your motives. Everyone wants to be good, noble, honest, open and fair, but it is often just an illusion. When you interpret yourself, you ignore and forget certain aspects of your behavior and, in At best, you create an image of life that you hang on the wall. True openness is suffering. It requires a critical look at yourself. It is a difficult process that has no end “(Oleg Shurajev, comedian, founder of the pla taforma and channel 1K.lt)
Oleg Shurajev, comedian, founder of the platform and channel 1K.lt. / Photo by T. Biliūnas
– How do you feel when you write and know that you are going to publish a nude interior recording?
“That fear is clear. Condemn, laugh, accuse of inattention. However, whenever I wrote extremely open texts, the goal was to encourage others to talk about their experiences and not be afraid to ask for help. There are no perfect people who find things easy, so you don’t have to be afraid of your imperfection. ” (Mykolas Pleskas, or Kleck, web writer)
“It used to be a lot scarier, but I noticed that the scarier it is to me, the stronger it resonates with others. The size of the fear is an indicator that I am going in a good direction. The ego always wants to protect the status quo from internal and external changes. (N. Rekašiūtė)
“I do not split the records naked and I do not. I understand the substance of the question, but I do not agree with the wording. Talking about depression and certain emotional things does not mean exposing yourself completely. You only talk about certain aspects of this topic and you have a lot left. In general, everything in life is quite personal and sensitive if you identify with the subject. Therefore, sharing one’s thoughts is sharing oneself, one’s emotions. ”(O. Shurajev)
“When I feel the need to publish, it comes from within and I don’t think much about what others will think. So I just want to share. ”(V. Valiukevičius)
– How open is it really possible to know that others will read?
Urtė Karalaitė, author of the webcast “Slow conversations of a fast life”.
“It just came to our notice then. If you spill it, speak up, maybe you want it radical. My posts are more about asking questions and looking at situations from the sidelines. I only get involved there as a customization tool, so recordings tend to Being quite abstract, I don’t feel too naked. Probably, the level of openness also depends on the feeling of inner security. ”(Urtė Karalaitė, author of the webcast“ Slow conversations of a fast life ”)
“If you do not have complexes about your experiences and situations you have been in, and if you are not afraid of appearing weak in the eyes of others, the openness will encompass everything. It all depends on the objective. In my case, one of the texts The most memorable was about depression, and with that I wanted to gather support for the Youth Line and encourage the sick to seek help. So you don’t think about how much you can be open, you just pour everything in so that the text is sincere. ”(M.Pleskas )
“It just came to our attention then. To say that you are always sincere and open is quite insincere and open. Obviously, the game here is endless. It seems to me that any text, thoughts is an internal controversy of the author. You cannot think in thesis and attitudes. end, you always doubt that you are between options, bad and less bad. Many use that style of so-called sincerity to achieve their goals, while making fun of it. Self-irony is important to me. ”(O. Šurajevas)
“While writing an introduction to my poetry book, I received the best advice: always imagine that I write to a person who listens, understands, loves and supports. That is what I follow, I write with the basic premise that openness heals not only me, but also others. Therefore, the fact of the hearing does not scare me ”. (N. Rekašiūtė)
– What have open publications on social networks contributed to you?
“The biggest benefit was that I encouraged people to act and save themselves. When I wrote openly about my depression and suicidal behavior in adolescence, there were quite a few who thanked and promised to go to the professionals. This is the best gift for the author of the text, nothing more is needed. ”(M. Pleskas)
“Liberation from a life based on the values invented by others. When I started to lie to myself, I discovered a woman lurking inside of me: talented, beautiful, free, creative. She feels uncomfortable, she takes care of herself first. I spit on the usual portrait of a good girl! We are told that we will be happy when we are perfectly beautiful and successful. And imi, you get all dozen, and since you were unhappy, stay. Then turn to emotional health, which is thus stigmatized, and feel that happiness is related to openness to yourself. It happens when you stop trying to please, you start living the authentic life that people are trying to buy through travel or housing. And it’s right here, it’s free, we just can’t pay to see it anymore, because we’re afraid to make contact with our real version ”. (R.Jusionytė)
“All the things that gave me something and there is a certain openness + skills + time + place. I think skills play a key role. If I speak openly during a stand up show, nobody hears the opening because of the opening. An important part of the people appreciate the ability to create a comedy out of it. If you can also make an emotional connection with the audience, even better. But I don’t see the point of spreading openness for the sake of openness. I don’t like vlogs, influencers, sharing worthwhile honest advice, I hate this whole wave of sincerity when brands and celebrities speak to the public like they are best friends and close people. That is hypocrisy. I honestly hate that. Although I am not necessarily right ”. (O. Shurajev)
“Evidence that vulnerability is not a weakness. It is a direct path to a brave life where you don’t have to lie ”. (N. Rekašiūtė)
“It just came to our knowledge then. It also helps to understand that others go through similar processes.” (U.Karalaitė)
“It just came to our knowledge then. Second, I discovered like-minded people. Third, I discovered people who complemented my opinion or even showed the opposite. And that led to the discoveries. I only see the good sides” (V. Valiukevičius)
– Do you agree that the opening in social networks has increased? Why do you think? Why?
“I try not to look or read. I’m more interested in skills and what a person offers. How, let’s say, fight depression, what helps and what doesn’t. It seems to me that one of the keys is comedy and irony. Why is this a very interesting question that I have no answer for? Sometimes sharing helps. Sometimes it seems that if you told me, you raised some fear, neurosis, problems, and you already helped with that. Sometimes talking is a good illusion that a problem is being solved. Sometimes it is a cry for help. Sometimes the openness is public relations. Consultants advise their clients, like politicians, to LOOK (the keyword here) organically, be honest and open. 90 percent. reputation and public stances are an image, and an image of sincerity sells very well. You always have to look at the context. Why do this? The brave people who oppose the conjuncture are a minority. I believe that true honesty begins and ends when you are ready to suffer and have conflict. Faith, family, children, homeland are great, but I often don’t believe in people who are comfortable fighting for values that match what is positioned in society as values. The sincerity of many people is adaptation. But it is a questionable dangerous game until we know how the human brain works. I honestly don’t know how anyone is here. ” (O. Shurajev)
“Of course, increased and finally! This allows you to touch on more sensitive issues in public. Apparently, the need for this was all the time, all that was needed was the right medium, the platform that emerged in parallel with the public debate on psychological health. ”(U.Karalaitė)
“I agree. Due to neuroscience and a better understanding of how the family, society shapes people, we shake hands and criticize what has hurt us.” (N.Rekašiūtė)
“It has increased because we are moving away from the date we were occupied. The freedom that lasts so long fundamentally frees us and we can express ourselves more” (V. Valiukevičius)
“Because many people set an example by being open. Because society is less and less tolerant of ridicule directed at those who open up. Because being closed, that is, running away from problems and recognizing and talking about important things, even painful ones, is a characteristic of a strong person ”. (M.Pleskas)
“Write from the scar, not from the wound”, I no longer imagine who owns this wisdom, but it fits when we talk about open explosions on social networks. It seems healthier for the community to read a text written by someone who already has that distance. Two professionals who practice opening shared their thoughts.
Ieva Sližienė, experiential education specialist, educational leadership, teacher, psychotherapy student, formerly author of the popular Facebook blog “Penkiese unirection”, who shared her family’s emotional experiences while traveling.
“Sometimes I notice emotional exhibitionism. The man pours a load into the public air ”(Ieva Sližienė)
– What gives a person openness?
– I associate openness with a person’s desire to be seen. For me, it is a search for connection. If it arises from the desire to share, it gives the opportunity to be heard, accepted. If it arises from the desire to manifest, then it is usually frustration. Experiences in the inner world are a means of forging a connection, sometimes breaking it. Here, as a diving suit, you can only put on a snorkel and you can wear a deep diving suit. When I share, there is a high probability that the other resonates, awakens feelings, recognizes their own stories. On the other hand, you can hurt and hurt yourself. The opening for me is the search for reflections.
– Is it really 100% possible? frankness?
– It is difficult to measure percentages. Especially since there are things in the background that belong only to the person who is no longer at the level of words, only of feeling. It is not necessary to transmit from there. I often don’t even like it. From there, you can connect with other people through the creation of music and poetry.
– You wrote a blog. What has a community brought you that you don’t necessarily know about?
– The feeling that we share what is very dear to me. A feeling of support. As we traveled, we received a lot of support from readers. It also gave me the satisfaction of being able to write.
– Have you noticed that social networks are now more open? Why do you think that?
– Yes, I noticed. I thought that people had more and more opportunities to get to know themselves and start sharing that. Social media is becoming a platform for openness. Extreme: when it becomes a demonstrative image. Sometimes I notice emotional exhibitionism when a person pours all the accumulated emotional charge into the public air. I experience this as an overload. If my own insides are overwhelmed by experiences, I generally find it difficult to read those texts. With openness, people escape loneliness. Although, paradoxically, as the openness in social networks increases, the live contact decreases. I often feel ambiguous when walking down the street with a person who is very open in the social space, and in reality our gazes don’t even meet.
– You are a representative of radical openness. How is it different from the simple opening?
– Most people think it is open, that is, it says what it thinks. Radical openness is being together when you name everything you notice in your mind, body and environment at that moment. Radical openness means living within yourself and, above all, knowing your senses. Thoughts are of secondary importance. “You never listen to me” becomes something like, “When I spoke, I saw my eyes turn to the side. I felt pain in my chest and figured you wouldn’t listen to me. I’m mad at you for rolling your eyes. I remember doing it yesterday and yesterday. I guess you don’t listen to me often. I am sad and angry. I want to be important to you and I want you to look me in the eye when I speak. Can you? And staying together until emotions subside and thoughts about how you or the world must be different no longer matter. There is a radically open conversation taking place about what is happening here and now, between you and me. In this way it allows us to feel connected, be spontaneous, without fear, because we know that one experience changes to another and no matter what you say or do, we will find out and then we will feel relaxed and connected.
– What does it mean to you to be open?
– It means that I realize what is happening to me here and now, and I can talk about it or keep it to myself. When I speak, I think I will be open. If I am left alone, I think of something else, how that scares me.
– It is 100% possible. opening with yourself?
– Yes, because your body is always open. Your heart beats, your blood flows, your muscles support you in a chair. The quality of your attention to what is happening in you determines the percentage of your stay open with yourself. You can sit in a comfortable chair under the influence of the air conditioning, with a cup of aromatic coffee next to you, and be completely tense and sweaty as all your attention is focused on the thoughts of yesterday’s conversation with the boss. You think about what your boss thinks of you and whether or not you deserve a higher salary. When you notice where your focus is (in your mind, body, or outside) and can name it, it is, we could call it, open. We often ignore the openness of the body and focus our attention on thoughts about how we should be or what the world around us should be like. That ignorance is that pretending to be different from what you really are is a lie. With caution, as with yoga: some can reach to the fingers, others only to the knees. Everyone is where they are, with their awareness, and everything is fine. Being open with yourself is not a marathon. It is a long-standing practice to focus on physical reality.
– What gives a person openness?
– In the first place, physical relaxation and a feeling of lightness and security in contact with others. New identities begin to form, such as “I can be myself”, “I am important”, self-esteem is increasing. Telling the truth helps to reveal the hurts and resentments of the past. By expressing humility, love, and boldly writing what we want, we often get what we think we couldn’t get. Over time, new deep connections emerge with interesting conversations that heal and enrich life. The nervous system begins to regulate and we are getting rid of many fears, especially those related to the image and rejection. It gave me the confidence that no matter what happened, I would do it right.
– Have you noticed that social networks are now more open? Why do you think that?
– I did not realize. Just as I don’t notice an increase in openness in my life. I am open and I want that from others. I do not read or follow those whom I value as liars. Donald Trump would be an example. I would venture to speculate that perhaps more people who have access to social media have nothing to lose. Telling the truth often means being excluded from a group of people united by a common narrative of what the world should be like. I think that telling the truth, even if it is innate, innate and forgotten about survival, is a privilege for those who know that they can survive saying what they think otherwise. People in the United States can make fun of the president and, in many countries, journalists or comedians would be punished with imprisonment and, in some cases, life imprisonment. I think telling the truth is a sign of a free community. If you’ve noticed more openness on social media, I guess maybe people feel freer.
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