Aušra Maldeikienė’s Open Interview After Overcoming Breast Cancer: About Illness, Death, and the Will to Live | Names

Not everyone is determined to talk about cancer diseases. Some people fear that when they find out, those around them on the street will accompany them with crooked glances or expel them from society. Aušra Maldeikienė has a different opinion on this subject. According to politicians, it is necessary and even obligatory to discuss cancer out loud. This disease is not insurmountable, although many people, when they discover that they are sick, already have preconceived ideas and, according to them, cause panic not only for themselves, but also for those around them.

Aušra discovered in August that she had breast cancer. He underwent surgery and started a course of chemotherapy. But, as the woman says, he never stopped working, trying to motivate himself. “I don’t see why I should die in the near future. If someone is really waiting for this, they will wait a long time,” the woman laughs during the interview and openly talks about the years of treatment, the moments of weakness and the joy of living.

– Dawn, calling me said that I would like to talk about the disease, the current stage of life. It seems that you definitely agreed to give the interview. Now, a year after the news that you have breast cancer, are you used to calls from journalists asking to get caught up in the subject?

– Journalists have not called me as often and often to speak about cancer diseases, but it is necessary to speak and educate people on this subject as much as possible. As I healed, I realized how tasteless and inedible the mixture is in Lithuanian minds. Yes, I had to follow the unpleasant path of treatment, but I did not have to lie for years with my foot in a cast and my bed being raised. I do not know why, but in this case, people imagine that it is nothing terrible, and the diagnosis “Cancer disease for you” becomes a life sentence.

I admit it, sometimes it was difficult because I had to force myself to work, and I didn’t have the strength to do it, I just wanted to go to bed. Then I tried not to give up, so I repeat how important it is to change your attitude towards this disease. After all, almost 120 thousand people in Lithuania now have cancer. people, but many live and will live long. It was a big shock to me when I discovered that sick people were not healing. There are also those who drink kerosene, doctors say that aviation alcohol is also poured. Such a patient no longer needs treatment, because he is harming himself. No need to waste time, it is important to listen to the advice of professionals and follow the prescribed regimen. Cancer does not come from karma, the evil eye, sugar and all kinds of nonsense. Breast cancer, for example, is the simplest hormonal disorder.

I remember when I told some of my friends how I felt sick, they were happy to share their experiences. Now, even in the face of such an illness, they would not be afraid of treatment.

– You seem to be quite positive, and how do you think now that you have finally overcome the disease?

– On May 6, I had my last irradiation procedure. Now I am well recovered, but for a time I will still have to visit the doctors every three months and then register once a year. I don’t think it’s too scary, especially if people accepted everything more calmly, it wouldn’t scare me.

– And where do you think people are so afraid of cancer disease, a reluctance to receive treatment?

– It should be easier to talk about the disease, there are really terrifying things in the world. Yes, most women in Lithuania die of breast cancer, but if caught early, most cancer diseases are curable. Second, it seems that when you hear the words “cancer disease,” something changes in the human mind. I recently read an article in a women’s magazine called “Cancer is not a runny nose.” After all, appendicitis is also not a runny nose, if you don’t cure it in time, it will definitely die, and if you have cancer, you can live another year. All the singularity that is lost is something horrible. He announced in his program that 90,000 people in Lithuania are dying of breast cancer. women, but many people generally die within a year. I even wrote him a letter then.

Our country lacks awareness that we suffer from diseases and we are mortal. Also, sometimes easily insane opinion leaders explain 4,000 years of Indian wisdom that cancer is a karmic disease for a bad character. By the way, I myself have received letters that God has compensated this disease. This idea is absurd, because we live in the 21st century. And what is sugar used for? From him we can unless he is obese. There is no need to think about everything so primitively. Westerners, for example, see this disease much more easily, their facial expressions do not change when you tell them that you are sick.

– You knew the diagnosis almost a year ago. What was the most difficult part all that time?

– I felt sick in the fall of 2018. I was haunted by constant fatigue, it was hard work, sometimes it was even more difficult than the disease itself. When my fingers hurt so much at the end of chemotherapy that I could no longer type on the keyboard, it became granular. Then a strange feeling arose, I wondered when it would never be like before.

But after a couple of weeks, it was all over. Sometimes I felt weak, but the worst was only a few days. He seemed to have a very bad flu, only there was no temperature, he was lying in bed and he didn’t even have the strength to watch television. I just fell asleep. And it certainly wasn’t the most terrifying thing that could have happened.

– People with oncology often face stigmas, various stereotypes appear, especially when women have to shave their hair. Were you intimidated to see the sliding cash registers in the mirror?

– This is another myth. For some reason, it is very scary for everyone to lose hair. Well, no, it won’t. You will not have hair and a point. This story is over. It was a really small problem. I got used to it very fast and lived comfortably. I didn’t do a circus, I put on a wig and walked. Now my hair is short, it grows back. Then I put it on. I will also cut and paint them in the future. I will be who I am. Women over the age of 55 should understand that gray hair is very beautiful, and being old is not a shame.

If something has changed in me, I have realized that I want to be like Western women, not like Eastern European women who wear a lot of makeup and comb their hair. Now I have a lot of fun getting ready to go somewhere, saving a lot of money on cutting and painting.

– It seems that people of death, no matter how boldly they talk about it, are still afraid. But from the interviews you read, you don’t seem to care at all. Do you accept this as a gift of life?

– People without brains speak terribly of death. You can ask me if I want to die. No, I want to live, especially now that I am healthy and feeling great. But will I die? Yes, I will die Is it cancer? I do not know. Again, I think that Lithuanians really need to change their way of thinking. A child from an early age needs to know that people who die are buried.

When I still didn’t know exactly my diagnosis, I was very surprised to realize that I wasn’t afraid of dying. Those indefinite weeks weren’t terrible, they just got a little grainy, I waited for what would happen next, but I wasn’t afraid. I understand that is already the case.

– Did you tame the idea of ​​death?

– I’ve been taming them since I was a kid. When I was little, I lived with nuns, they taught me to pray for every dead person in their family of 17. It took a long time. Those people who are truly believers always carry the thought of death with them. After all, faith is about death and what will happen after that. Sometimes it is even interesting, and what will happen.

– You mentioned that you wrote a letter to your son describing what kind of funeral you would like. What does it mean to live when you feel that the last day will be soon?

– That text, how to bury me, is written, if I’m not mistaken, in 2010. When people started to bury people in Lithuania in public, I said categorically that my funeral should be private, little one. It is not a circus, I do not want publicity and I have not changed my mind. I’ve even figured out what music to play. But the will has nothing to do with the current situation, at the time I did it, I was completely healthy. I remember the notary was still asking what happened, and I thought there had to be an order. Everything must be done on time. A will should be written when you have at least some wealth and children, so it is important to think about them.

– And loved ones calmly accepted the message that you were sick?

– When I discovered the diagnosis, I thought about how good it is that my mother is dead because it would have been an unbearable burden for her. God was good to me, gathering common sense people around me. No one was quick to rejoice, but children and loved ones tried to help when necessary. Oh, when I started ripping something, I was laughing, saying maybe it was over.

– Brother Casimir helped you through a difficult time. Is this the person you always talk to, do you open your heart when someone is depressed?

Absolutely. Honestly, he was by my side all day after my operation, bringing food, baking potato pancakes. The women began to ask who he was and why he was visiting me (laughs).

– Has your circle of friends changed much during this time?

– You know, most of my friends I know from grade 3 or 5. They don’t change depending on the state or the disease. Of course, when I got sick, I got more attention from them, my friends tried to ask how I was doing. But nothing has changed in my life, it is not a miracle. However, I am 62 years old and if I had friends in my environment who reacted negatively to the disease, something would be wrong with me. At 40, I think those friends should be forgotten.

– And has the public’s attitude towards you changed?

– Many people wrote beautiful letters, wishes, rejoiced when I wrote that I am already well. Of course, there were also those who sent unpleasant messages, but there always are. The job of a politician is that you don’t like it.

– Breast cancer affects many women every year. What advice would you give them?

Do not be afraid. Control calmly and don’t panic, listen to the doctors. I did everything they told me. During that time, I also received a lot of emails with advice on what I should take to improve, but I didn’t pay attention to them. You have to try to support your strength, work, not be interested in additional information, eat, walk, not look for mystical ways of escape.

– Knowing that when people hear that they have an oncological disease, there is an awareness that something must be left behind, do all the unfinished work and fulfill dreams. Didn’t you torture yourself with such thoughts?

– Until I felt good enough, I had to work, when will I fulfill those dreams here? I don’t know, no. I just ran into friends often to chat etc.

– You mentioned you were going to the village. Now you’re trying to spend more time yourself, resting?

– Whether in town or in Vilnius, I still work remotely now. Tomatoes in the morning, followed by meetings. Only the town makes me more fun. Due to illness, I only spent 4 business days that year. I often got a lot of blame, a lot of people said that if you die, that’s what you fly, give your place to someone who does the work. These people can be calm, I worked.

– And how did you survive the quarantine period? Didn’t you want a person close to your soul?

– Oh, the quarantine was a very good time. I did even more work. Kaziukas came to me, the children came. As much as I have people around me, I have them all and I don’t need any pseudo-experts.

However, let’s be honest, I am 60 years old with an outstanding year. Problems affect people when they are 20 or 30 years old, and the wise live their age. It makes life easy. I don’t really live in that phase where I really care about having someone close to me. And that? I just shook that thought. I have my own rules of life, and relationships are a complex mechanism of reconciliation. When you are 20 years old, it can happen quite easily, when you are 40 years old, more complicated, and at my age it is nonsense.

– So what are your future plans?

– I am waiting for my pension, then I will move to town. Until then, I would like to be healthy, read and write books. The kind of life I live now I really enjoy.