An event in life irreversibly changed Urte’s destiny: when I woke up in the morning, I realized that I could no longer move.

“I see this book, as well as my other creative activities, as self-reflection tools that help people to initiate a dialogue with themselves, to see their own experiences from the outside,” says Karalaitė in a press release on the absurdity of the life, laughter through tears, the courage to undress and the ability to remain attentive in the full routine of activities.

– Many people know Urta Karalaitė as a positive and energetic person who can participate in several projects at the same time. Only the most demanding fans and listeners have heard that a couple of years ago, her life suddenly turned upside down when she was having difficulty moving and enduring a complex operation due to health problems. For an active young woman, this had to be a considerable test. What reflections of this strong experience can be seen in your book of poetry?

– In a sense, the appearance of this book is related to that experience, although the poem about that situation is only one: the longest. At first glance, it really wasn’t funny: one day my previous spinal problems came back with renewed vigor and I felt like I couldn’t get out of bed anymore. Even though I couldn’t move at all for a couple of months, I spent that time lying down at home and in the hospital, I had to ask for surgery. This was followed by a six-month rehab when I was still unable to return to my normal lifestyle. It took me two years to get back to my normal gait. After spending a long time in a state of helplessness, waiting for a miracle, surgery, and at least some improvement, you inevitably start laughing. What initially seemed like a drama turned into a comedy of the absurd.

The most valuable thing is that this experience became an impetus for change; If I often doubted myself before the operation, I did not dare to try to implement my ideas, after the operation I began to take new activities and suggestions with more courage. There was more lightness in my approach to life, I learned to look at myself without so much seriousness. It was discovered as the irony of life and the laughter that emanated from it, which prevented us from sinking into self-pity, as we had never felt before. After rehabilitation, I began to develop my website more actively, now a book of poems has appeared, I have compiled new texts that have been hidden in a drawer for a long time.

– Those who know you as the voice of the network “Fast Life Slow Conversations” – a brilliant and leisurely analysis of social phenomena will probably be surprised to feel that your intonation in the book is more critical, higher, with a lot of irony and even black mood. So what is that real Urt?

– Apparently, wanting to help others to approach change – reflecting on my experience, I find that it also becomes useful for those who listen or read it. Therefore, I don’t see a contradiction between the webcast and the content of the book. I see both projects primarily as self-reflection tools that can help others release complex and depressing emotions, to make the changes they want. Of course, the poetry book is more about me, it is more intimate, more acute, although there is more comedy here. However, I did not publish this book to establish myself in the world of literature as a poet or to share my experiences in poetic format. I share my poems mainly because I believe that they can help readers to see themselves with a lighter gaze and explore through a healthy, safe distance and an ironic prism what is scarier, depressing and frustrating.

– The texts “If it weren’t if” speak openly not only about dramatic experiences, but also about the chilling, anxiety and loneliness of romantic relationships. Wasn’t it so scary to undress like that?

– I’m not afraid of undressing, because I know that nothing bad will happen to me. I accept myself as sensitive, erroneous and all kinds of things, that’s why I’m not afraid of showing myself like that to others. On the other hand, if I were to try to trick myself into just being strong and tough, then it would be very difficult to open up. Although we all feel very exceptional, in one way or another we do not avoid the more general problems of modern man: the experience of loneliness, nonsense, anxiety, the short duration of relationships. I am faced with these experiences too, but through the frugality of words and details, I try to make these experiences universal, in which many can identify. Therefore, the texts of the book are more of a confession, but a reflection, an attempt to mature – without dirt or self-destruction – in what is happening to me and around me.

– How do you manage to reconcile active professional life, various social activities and creativity?

– Although fast, my life is careful. Even when running, I like to stop when I notice a precise thought, unusual situation or feeling and capture it. That is why my poems are born in the strangest situations and environments, if only I could suddenly write that nascent thought. I picked them up from the phone and the notebooks. In general, it can be said that all the texts in the book were born from attention to your thoughts in everyday life. So I hope that those short, impulsive poetic remarks, like the slow, fast-paced talk of the fast-paced conversation, will help others to become sensitive to your every step, even living on a tight schedule. As I noticed in my experience, attention and the intense pace of life do not necessarily have to be opposite.