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“I didn’t expect so many comments from men and women who are so intolerant of a foreigner.” He is from Turkey, a Muslim, so these are the facts that most Lithuanians are trapped in, “he said.
I met coworkers at the wedding
O. Dzerzanauskaitė said that she had been living in Vienna, the capital of Austria, since 2007, when she and her mother moved from Lithuania to live here. 2013 she met a future husband when he was invited to the wedding of one of his coworkers. According to her, at first she did not want to go to this celebration because she was not sure if she could prepare for it.
“I just couldn’t escape, my friends asked me to participate. So I no longer had a place to disappear. Even three friends called to join.”
The girl recalled that the consent to attend the wedding was fatal because her fiancé filmed these connections and an acquaintance presented them.
“He didn’t speak German at the time, and I didn’t speak Turkish. So, we had to speak gestures in some way. However, when we started to meet, they gradually taught me Turkish, they taught me German, but we still communicate in Turkish. I also speak Lithuanian, believe me, he’s doing very well, “said Odeta.
When asked what they do in Austria, O. Dzerzanauskaitė emphasized that there is hardly anyone in the country anymore.
“My fiancee and I are developing our tourism business in the Turkish city of Antalya, but we would like to return to Lithuania. However, the cards were shuffled by the start of the pandemic and the introduction of quarantine. That is why we we stayed in Austria for a reason beyond our control. “
But the girl says she really appreciates the hope that she will return to her homeland in the near future and create a new life here.
“The Homeland is the Homeland, but, of course, the fear remains not only about oneself, but also about the bride. I am concerned with how it will go here, how the locals will accept. Such thoughts, of course, arise when you realize that not everyone understands and not all tolerate foreigners, “Odeta feared.
The girl admits that the future husband often asks her if she would deal with care and comments not always positive in Lithuania.
“But after such deliberations, we both joke that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, so such thoughts don’t really stop us from coming back.”
Do you want to break stereotypes?
Odeta and his fiancé Hasan share funny images of their coexistence on social networks. The girl says that as those videos were released, they began to receive angry comments from compatriots who wanted to mock their friendship. However, at first, it is not hidden, it was necessary to change the attitude of loved ones.
“I cannot say that my relatives did not accept my boyfriend, but they asked me if he was hurting me. Probably the most difficult thing was to convince the grandparents, because Lithuanian television usually tells what men of other nationalities have done to our girls For example, that they are taken to their country and that women can no longer return or take their children after the divorce. “
According to her, when only such stories are shown, the public has the impression that there are no beautiful marriages between Lithuanians and Muslims. Odeta revealed that the Hasan family did not object to their relationship at all, and Lithuania was also known to them, although it still did not distinguish them from Russia.
“His parents work in tourism, so my nationality did not surprise them. They were happy that the foreigner learned Turkish, and he sometimes joked that he did not look like a Lithuanian to me, neither in terms of appearance nor language.”
She also says that she has never experienced any pressure from a man to necessarily accept her religion or try to do it just as a housewife.
“It just encourages me to pursue what I want and there really is no coercion. The only difference between us and our culture is because of the food: He doesn’t like Lithuanian food, especially cold beets, he asks how to eat red soup, “laughed O. Dzerzanauskaitė.
I was horrified by the Lithuanian comments.
Odeta says she is now trying to pay less attention to angry comments on social media, but was initially shocked by such an attack.
“The time has come when we are no longer removing angry comments, because it would be very difficult and time consuming to do so in the first place. I also believe that because of such comments, we are getting the momentum to grow spiritually and creating those videos not to make them people make fun of us, but just so we can do the same. We hope the content we create is useful and will help us in the future. “
According to the girl, those people who spread hate will not destroy who their partner really is. She believes that the more such relationships are advertised and the more diverse content is brought to the Internet, the more people will appear who want to hold onto something.
“It just came to our attention then. However, I want my compatriots to pay less attention to those around them, to live on their own, rather than writing angry comments online.” Such behavior shows nothing but unpleasantness and bad parenting, “he said.
O. Dzerzenauskaitė also founded a Facebook group, which can only be accepted by women. There are also girls who have joined her, she says, who also create life with foreigners.
“I don’t know, they may not share that information, but I have not heard from anyone that they want to change a Muslim to a Lithuanian.” These men are very family oriented, show attention and really love their women very much. “
Odeta said she was already planning her wedding, but was still looking for ways to get her and her future husband’s relatives to participate in the celebration. He also wished once again to his compatriots more tolerance and not to rely only on the negative information seen in the media.
Shared an open letter
“The flight of the two began in 2013 with a lot of energy. Some stops were omitted, others with a nice ending, others with a bad ending. Halfway there, we realized that we were running out of air … it was dangerous. But somehow we still wanted to fly further. Meanwhile, in addition to the usual guests in our lives that have been from day one, several new passengers have also boarded. Some of them said goodbye directly to the parachute, they were not a loss for us, they just made our flight easier. The other part was left to experience and survive the riots with us, it was a victory.
There have been many changes and some are yet to come. I know that we will not dominate all that Heaven will send us from above. But we know that we have passengers who will support us in all situations, no matter how stormy the weather is outside. They will give us certainty that it will not allow us to fall. Thanks to all the passengers who joined us and we are excited to see what destinations await us next. I wish all travelers a pleasant new adventure with us … ”, Odeta thanked herself and the others in an open letter.
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