Almost a fifth of Lithuania are older people, but because of the youth cult, there is no place for them? The separation was further exacerbated by the pandemic.

It is estimated that more than half a million older people live in Lithuania.

The country’s population is likely aging the fastest across the European Union, and by 2030, one in three people in the country is projected to be over 60 years old.

However, often due to the prevailing youth cult in society, the elderly feel unnecessary, useless, a significant number of them are poor and do not always receive adequate help.

And the coronavirus pandemic has certainly not improved the situation, NGOs say.

Deepened exclusion

Kristina Čiuželienė, co-founder of the free friendship chat and emotional helpline for seniors “Sidabrinė linija”, says the quarantine only exacerbated the pains of society, increased anxiety and feelings of insecurity.

According to her, in the conversations, older people feel comforted that the pandemic has become completely isolated, leading to further social exclusion.

During the first and second quarantines, the number of calls doubled. There were more people who just wanted to talk, to be heard, and many of them asked for advice, because the others alone had no way to solve their problems, he points out.

“When we saw this need, in addition to friendship conversations, we began to provide emotional, psychological and spiritual help to people who requested it.

Currently, the services of the Sidabrin line are used by almost 4 thousand people. ancestors.

The fact that the need for care for the elderly increased during the quarantine is also demonstrated by data from the Order of Malta (Malta).

Head of Organizational Support and Communication 15 minutes Rasa Stukienė states that the number of people served has increased and the need for additional services has arisen.

“In the past, the stronger old people came to collect food themselves, they took it to the weaker ones, lying down, and now everything falls on the shoulders of young volunteers. It took more ears, hands and, most importantly, legs, ”he says.

According to the representative of “Maltese”, the quarantine hit the grandparents more in an emotional sense: for many, chronic diseases worsened, additional funds were needed for medicines and the possibility of movement decreased.

More ears, hands and, most importantly, legs were needed.

Residents of individual farms also felt the quarantine.

“In the past, a family member or neighbor would visit more often, bring firewood and water, still some food, and now the elderly were left alone and not everyone could cope with housework due to illnesses,” says R. Stukienė.

COVID-19 closed the door

Živilė Kaniavienė, a psychologist and research consultant for the Sidabrinės line, says that the protection of the elderly population against the coronavirus is necessary, on the one hand, but it also has its consequences.

“We do not go to the guests, we cannot visit hospitals or nursing homes, we constantly remind them that their movement in the social space should be as limited as possible, perhaps we even write on the door of the cafe that it is better not to visit here .. . We only want the good, And it is not only a question of a growing loneliness and social isolation. It is a whole bunch of contradictory feelings, “he says.

– An elderly person can feel gratitude for the relatives who take care of him without visiting him, but somewhere deep to experience the feeling that they may no longer be needed.

Or that society, by declaring security, is in fact marginalizing, pushing to the margins as a “threat.” You may start to feel “different”, “worse” than everyone else. These feelings can be more terrifying than the illness itself. “

Ori old age – mission (not) possible

Older people often face loneliness and deprivation.

Data from the Department of Statistics show that more than a third of those over 65 live alone, only 5%. participate in some activity, even one in five lives below the poverty line.

Some lose their loved ones, others have them, but they are not supervised, they lack time to be together.

R.Stukienė says that situations are individual, but often those who work in a hurry and their problems begin to notice others, abandoning their close grandparents.

“Of course, it also affected the Soviet era, how the traditions of the community were destroyed. After all, in the past, a lonely old man was never left to the will of fate: the whole town took care of him. On the other hand On the other hand, pensions are growing too slowly, ”he said.

And he points out that promises to increase them are constantly being heard, but the help of single grandparents is needed here and now, because without them they would not survive.

When we learn this, we calm down, say goodbye to the next time, and rush to live our intense lives.

K.Čiuželienė, director of the Sidabrinės line, adds that it is sometimes easier for the elderly, even when surrounded by loved ones, to talk to a stranger. Family members often don’t want to be burdened.

“We are all very busy now, which often leads to quick communication with family members; we call to ask if everything is okay, if we are not sick, if we have food or medicine. When we learn this, we calm down, say goodbye to the next time and we rush to live our intense lives. The senior at the other end of the program often remains unspoken, “he notes.

There is fear of getting old

Ž.Kaniavienė points out that a society in which youth and beauty are more important is often characterized by a negative attitude towards old age.

An older person is seen in a stereotypical way: they are seen as weak, sick, lonely, angry, abandoned, unable to take care of themselves.

The senior at the other end of the program often remains unspoken.

“Such an attitude perpetuates the view that in this period of life the elderly person becomes a burden for him, his relatives and society. As a result, an elderly person begins to fear old age, often feeling shame and guilt They want to distance themselves, avoid direct contact with the negative attitude of others, ”he says.

Research in Lithuania and around the world reveals a connection between attitudes towards old age and well-being, says the psychologist.

According to her, older people who have a negative attitude towards old age tend to evaluate their physical and psychological quality of life worse than older people who do not share a negative attitude towards old age and aging.

“And ongoing research, during which the same people are periodically interviewed or surveyed, shows that acceptance of stereotypes of old age in middle age predicts a higher risk of feeling ill, getting sick, and taking care less of one’s health in old age. Thus, a negative attitude towards old age can be “instilled” and affect the quality of life, “he says.

When asked how to change this, the psychologist points out a few things: according to her, first of all it is necessary to guarantee basic needs for a person to survive, she should not try to make ends meet every month.

He also believes that it is necessary to dispel existing stereotypes that are harmful not only for older people but also for younger people.

However, it urges that the responsibility of the person himself not be canceled.

“We must first accept old age as a natural period in our lives and learn to enjoy it,” says Ž. Kaniavienė.

Still, the Lithuanian indicators are not the best.

According to the latest data from the Global AgeWatch index, Lithuania ranks 63rd out of 96 countries surveyed in terms of living conditions for people of respectable age.

You don’t need much, just a conversation

“When we interact with the elders of society, we see the importance of a simple and sincere relationship, friendship and a space in which they can communicate without masks, be open, be themselves, trust each other and believe in the lifetime”. 15 minutes says K.Čiuželienė. “He lacks old age.”

Often after a particular question, they are actually encoding a desire to communicate, as if embarrassed to admit that they are seeking a deep connection with another person.

She says that people often dare to call the toll-free line for a specific purpose, ask for advice, but simply prefer an honest conversation.

“Often after a specific question they actually encode the desire to communicate, as if they are embarrassed to admit that they are seeking a deep connection with another person, it becomes easier to ask for information.

Feeling this, we always offer friendship calls, which are free for both them and our volunteers, ”he says.

R.Stukienė, head of support and communication of “Maltese”, affirms that during the quarantine the meetings of the clubs for the elderly had to be suspended, the activities of the day centers had to be moved to a virtual space.

However, the ancients were not used to communicating with the computer, so it was decided to safely resume the meetings.

According to her, this “live” contact, even with a social worker, is like a celebration, especially in the current period.