A girl with anorexia is on the verge of death: I promised myself that if I woke up in the morning I would confess it to my mother

She explained: “I have always liked to eat. I tried new products, made for the family. But even in elementary school, other girls started commenting on my appearance, saying that I was the oldest in the class. Then my struggle began. with the weight. After all, I had to be a happy girl, but I concentrated on my body and I became very unhappy. “

When high school started, Ellie stopped something to eat.

“I wanted to change my appearance, so when I was twelve I started to limit myself a lot. I went vegan, I ate once a day and the plate was very small. “

Such a diet became a habit for the girl, and then progressed: at the age of 16, the girl secretly vomited her parents’ food, spent about 30 thousand. steps per day.

“I was in a deep well, I was diagnosed with depression and anorexia nervosa. But my parents did not know, before taking the food out of my body, I closed all the water taps in the bathroom so they wouldn’t hear me, “said the girl.

Ellie concealed the fact that she had lost a lot of weight: she was wearing loose-fitting clothing, and when the doctors weighed her, they placed weights on her legs. Finally, in March 2018, she was detained under the Mental Health Act and hospitalized for almost a year. However, the girl does not find this experience useful.

“I got hurt and threw up after eating anyway. I was a sick person, both a puppy and a sick person. I lay in bed for two months and then they put me in a wheelchair. I was not allowed to practice any sport. I had no freedom at all, so mostly I was bored. It was extremely difficult to be away from my family and loved ones, “Ellie said.

She was released in March 2019, but still hid her struggle with the weight of the family.

“I came home with even more bad habits. My hair started to shrink due to lack of nutrients and little hairs grew on my hands, as if to warm me up. My body wanted to protect me because I knew I was in danger. Yet even though he was exhausted, he walked 30,000 a day. Steps “.

Fearful that he might not survive, the girl wrote in the note from Cheryl, her 56-year-old mother, about her true weight and confessed to having irregular habits.

“I promised myself that if I woke up the next day, I would give her that note. Fortunately, I woke up, handed her a note and saw her cry. She made sure that I was detained again under the Mental Health Act,” he said. Ellie.

The girl, in critical condition, spent another year in a hospital; During the first six months she was constantly supervised by a nurse, Ellie used a wheelchair. The girl turned 18 in May, so she was transferred to the adult eating disorder ward, where she was able to focus on recovery.

Specialists made sure that the girl did not repeat bad habits – the bathroom was closed.

“It just came to our notice then. I worked hard every day: I ate three meals and three snacks. Six months later, I was allowed out of the office,” Ellie said.

Ellie now lives with her parents, she is overweight. She follows a diet plan and should be removed from the special program in January.

“I feel so much better. I never thought I would feel happier weighing more. I trust myself more than ever. The healing brought me happiness. I understand that if I hadn’t told my mom about eating disorders, I would be dead,” she said. Ellie – The hardest thing was giving up behavioral habits and constant self-control. My whole family was affected by my illness, but seeing how happy they were now, I realized that recovery was worth it. Now I accept every day as it is. I focus on staying healthy. “

Almost the main thing that helped the girl to recover is music. She writes songs, sings, plays the guitar, gives him joy and, as the girl herself says, saved her life.

“Three years ago I started playing the guitar and sang all my life. I write songs, I would like to go on stage one day. Music helped me through the darkest moments, ”Ellie admitted. “Eating disorders are fatal and recovery may seem impossible, but you don’t have to do it alone.”