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It will soon be a mistake to call Eskedar Tilahun, the owner of Eskedar Coffee, a foreigner. A month later, after being sworn in by the Republic of Lithuania, Lithuanian citizenship will be granted.
Although the feeling of a true Lithuanian is still hampered by the frequent and intrusive looks of those around him, but in 13 years, he says, he has already managed to get used to it. “Such is my house, we have to reconcile,” smiles Eskedar.
Furthermore, Eskedar may not worry that something similar to American events and racist attacks may take place in Lithuania. According to her, racism simply does not exist in Lithuania.
So, with E. Tilahun, a conversation about how you feel in Lithuania, why racism does not disappear in the world and why you call Lithuanians who consider themselves racists simply uneducated.
Photo from personal album / Eskedar Tilahun
– Eskedar, you were in Lithuania 13 years ago. Here you were transferred from a refugee camp in Malta. Why did you go to Lithuania?
– My only condition was: will I be able to study here at the university? When they said I really could, I had no more questions and I moved to Lithuania.
– Do you remember your first impressions here? What kind of Lithuania appeared to you?
– The first impressions were wrong: the atmosphere is hostile, the people are withered, the cold winter. It seemed, oh God, how to live here. But as the saying goes, if you can’t change the environment, you can change your attitude.
I just convinced myself that I didn’t know anything about this place and learned everything from scratch. If people seemed cold, I thought they were not cold, now it’s only winter. When the warm weather comes, people start to smile, they get more fun. After all, I myself am sometimes frowned upon in cold weather. He helped me and I soon fell in love with the country.
If you can’t change the environment, you can change your attitude.
– And what kind of Lithuanians appeared to you? Living in Ethiopia and later in Malta, I guess he didn’t get intrusive looks. And how did Lithuania receive you? A decade ago, blacks were probably still unusual here.
– Sometimes people react differently to innovation, and this is normal. At first I saw everyone looking at me and I felt uncomfortable. As they walk around town with friends today, they often say to me: wow, how they look at you. Only now I don’t notice it like I used to.
Now if people are looking at me, I am also starting to look at what they are seeing so much here. Turning around and seeing nothing behind me, I remember that I am interested here. But he gets used to it and doesn’t make me feel anymore.
Photo from personal album / Eskedar Tilahun
But the environment is changing, she and I together. In Vilnius, more and more students from abroad, from African countries, officials from France, the United States, as well as basketball players come to the “Žalgiris” or “Rytas” teams. People of other races are becoming more and more, so that image is also becoming common for Lithuanians.
Anyway, I’ve always been a different child. Even while living in Ethiopia, I was the girl who played soccer when no one else did, it was unusual for my culture. So being different has always been normal for me, I knew what that meant.
– Have you been discriminated here in 13 years? Having received insults?
– I once went to court for racial discrimination. A migrant returning from England, who was passing with a child, called me negre and asked me a question about monkeys. I won the court. Therefore, I am happy to live in a state governed by the rule of law, where I can be myself.
Maybe that’s why I’m not shy. If I hear any comments about my appearance, I start a dialogue with those people. We need to talk about it. When you feel depressed and silent, then change does not happen.
And also, if a person feels hatred for my appearance, it is not my problem, it is difficult for him, because he has to carry those feelings inside. So I am never afraid to talk about it.
If I hear comments about looks, I start a dialogue with those people. When you feel depressed and silent, then change does not happen.
– And how do people react when you start talking to them?
– They get uncomfortable. I come and say hello, my name is Eskedar, and I don’t understand what you mean when I call myself that.
Photo from personal album / Eskedar Tilahun
I come from a country where there was no slavery, my culture and history are completely different. So when I try to insult myself with related words, I don’t feel the kind of pain that African-Americans whose families have experienced what it means. So it’s easy for me to enter into dialogue.
Then people are surprised: why it doesn’t work for me, why I react cold and calm. But you know, I feel pain for others, for injustice, because nobody has had to experience slavery. Even when it comes to deportation, as for all Lithuanians, this is a delicate subject for me, because no one should have been so tortured. And it doesn’t matter at all that my family hasn’t experienced it, it’s just humanity and compassion.
There was no slavery in Ethiopia, so when I try to insult myself with words related to it, I don’t feel the kind of pain that African Americans whose families have experienced, what that means.
– Perhaps now the situation in Lithuania is improving, less people so angry?
– Some things are very pleasantly surprising. Disappearance of racial, religious or age discrimination in the employment of persons. And my example shows that Lithuania is a country of opportunities for everyone, be it for Lithuanians themselves or for me, which I think will be able to swear Lithuania in a month and get citizenship, or for people with disabilities. None of us is exceptional, living and growing in Lithuania.
– When you saw what was happening in the United States, how did you feel about it? Did you have any feelings about it?
– I think it caused the same feelings as my Lithuanian friend Radvile. We talked to friends that a man had been killed and an injustice had been committed. My feelings were not exceptional for anyone. I am glad that young people also talked about this, opposed it, had their own opinion.
Photo from personal album / Eskedar Tilahun
– Why do you think this wave of resistance has come now? Why have support campaigns increased in all countries now? Is the cup of patience overflowing?
– You know how to say when, if not now, and what, if not me. The time has come. People decided to take responsibility, remain silent, and go to the streets to talk. The world is becoming more aware, everyone is becoming bolder.
In any case, I can say more on this subject than any Lithuanian. I have never lived in the United States, I don’t know how people feel there and what they experience.
All I can say is that I am against crime, whether it be hitting a store window or killing it. In the face of injustice, it is necessary to speak and resist. And it seems to me that politicians must build peace, not overthrow, as reality shows.
Without the concentration of society, change will not come.
– But the peaceful fight against racism seemed to have provoked even more racism.
– There will never be an opinion, there will never be a topic on which everyone agrees. There were blacks and whites who supported Black Lives Matter, but there are many who did not. Everyone has an opinion. And having it is good. Only the most important thing is not to lose consciousness.
Without the concentration of society, change will not come. And at this point we see that the focus is no longer local but global. It has spread throughout the world.
Consciousness is a polite issue, sooner or later the problem of racism will be solved.
– We still live in civilized times, so why do you think racism is not disappearing?
– I would very much like to ask that too. Even in a country as small as Lithuania, where there are dozens of parties with hundreds of different opinions on the well-being of Lithuania, and people one day have a position, another day, another, it is difficult to reach a single consensus. So what about America, where there are so many more people, states, and cultures? In terms of nations, the United States is home to the entire world. So it is difficult for everyone to live together.
I think you need to start with yourself. If I want to live in a tolerant environment, I will tolerate my neighbors, I will love them for the good of their lives, hoping that they will treat me the same way. But I cannot guarantee that.
Consciousness is a polite issue, sooner or later perhaps this problem will be solved.
Photo from personal album / Eskedar Tilahun
– In your opinion, is there racism in Lithuania?
– Where can racism in Lithuania come from? Between what? Racism can start when there is at least some diversity of races in a country. But Lithuania’s history shows that the country did not participate in slavery, human trafficking, that there was no bloodshed between blacks and whites. So where can racism come from?
I think that people in Lithuania who consider themselves racists do not understand what they are talking about, they have seen what is happening in other countries and they are trying to adapt themselves. But when you talk to people like that, you see that he’s far from racist, he just needs friends.
When you talk to people who consider themselves racists, you realize that they only need friends.
I once spoke to a young man in Panevėžys who thought he was a “skinhead”, a neo-Nazi. After arguing for half an hour, I realized that he is against the foreign men who come, have a son with a Lithuanian and leave her. But this is not racism. It is just a stereotype that apparently black men leave women with children alone. It is simply ignorance: these people do not have information about the situation and do not seek it, but simply choose the easiest way to hate.
– How do you feel living in Lithuania today? You are safe?
– I always felt safe here. My house is already here. Earlier I said that Lithuania will be my stopover, but it hasn’t changed in 13 years. I feel good here, I raise my children here, and that’s what it says.
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