Don’t do it: 2 fundamental parenting mistakes that can ruin a child’s future when choosing a profession

This period is also a test for parents, who do not always know how they should behave when making a graduate decision. Ramunė Bagočiūnaitė, organizational psychologist, member of the Lithuanian Women Entrepreneurs Network, and Danguolė Kraskauskienė, professional consultant, answer questions from students and their parents.

After school – one year of vacation

A popular option after graduation in Western countries is the year of the vacation. sabbatical) is also gaining ground in Lithuania. Students undecided about their future career path dedicate this time to travel, self-knowledge, volunteering, etc. However, D. Kraskauskienė points out that the most important condition for choosing this method is to use that year in a meaningful way.

“This way of procrastinating has come to us from the West, where young people who are undecided about their future career path often choose to spend years searching for themselves and their calling. They go to work as volunteers in distant lands, thus putting themselves to the test in social activities, traveling the world together in each country working in different jobs, joining various political, business and social organizations, participating in community life, trying to do business. Then that call sabbatical it is a time consciously planned, active and dedicated to experimentation.

When talking to students in Lithuania, I often hear the desire to just “take a break” from science, have fun traveling the world for parents’ money, and have more free time for my own pleasure. That’s the problem: a great summer by the sea with friends and winter sitting on the couch helps a little when next spring comes around and decisions need to be made. So my advice would be: if you don’t know what you want to study, take a year for yourself, but do it with clear planning, making the most of each week. Discuss the alternatives with parents, contact career specialists and come up with a clear plan, and then implement it, ”says D. Kraskauskienė, who teaches at Kaunas College.

Tips to help you choose the right profession

R. Bagočiūnaitė and D. Kraskauskienė agree that when choosing a career path, the most important thing for a student is self-analysis, asking appropriate questions for himself and taking an interest in what representatives of various fields do.

“To all the students who have not yet decided on their career path, I tell you that I understand you perfectly, and I was in that situation! The first thing to do is gather as much information as possible about all the areas that interest you. Read online, talk to those professions, discuss with like-minded people, and then close your eyes and try to imagine your “ideal day at work.” How is she doing? Do you want to travel? Do you want to work as a team? Looking to build your own business? Having enough information about the possibilities and clearly knowing your wishes will definitely make a decision faster, ”advises R. Bagočiūnaitė.

“Find a quiet corner and try to write down your desires and reluctance (they also help you decide). Remember your hobbies and clubs that you have visited in recent years. What did you like? Maybe it is an opportunity to work as a team? Or maybe just autonomy, when you are responsible for the result? When did you feel relaxed and inspired? When did you feel proud of yourself? Maybe when we managed to throw an unrealistically fun party and everything went according to plan? Or maybe when things went very wrong and you managed to save the situation, reconcile the team, calm down? Why do those around you praise you?

These memories are important because they show your personal qualities: creativity, organization, teamwork, leadership, attention to detail, etc. And in which professions will you be able to apply these qualities more? Choose that direction ”, says D. Kraskauskienė.

A specialty: for life?

Often times, students who choose an additional career must face pressure from those around them when it is believed that they will have to work a lifetime according to the currently chosen specialty. Meanwhile, some professionals repeat that the current career choice is just a stage, because the job market is changing like never before and many professionals will have to retrain in the future.

“Yes, the choice of specialty is very important. After all, we spend most of our time at work! But I don’t know of any area in which the “pressure” of a young person can generate mutual benefits. Therefore, I support a somewhat freer approach that there is no need to schedule a career for life. Sometimes doctors turned into the most beautiful paintings, and artists keep excellent records. The most important thing is to find out which activities give me the most satisfaction, where I can best apply my knowledge and skills, and which activities can become my job and which can be used in my spare time. Today, the labor market dictates conditions that did not exist before: various skills are expected from an employee, and I have no doubt that ten years from now there will be professions that we do not have today. Therefore, I would not associate human life with a specialty, ”shares R. Bagočiūnaitė, director of the Business Center at Kaunas College Business School.

“The choice of the major is an important decision for many reasons: the versatility of the financial allocation of the year. We can hardly find a very happy person who has realized that he has spent 3-4 years studying anything that really matters to him. However, it is also true that professions are changing very dynamically and it is likely that within 10 years specialists will be needed who do not even have names now, and vice versa, many professions will be forgotten.

During your studies, you will receive tools and practices that will help you learn to adapt more to a changing world. What matters here is not so much the study program chosen as the set of skills and knowledge that can be acquired in it. With such a vision and marks the studies. Not with fear, but with curiosity, look for an environment in which you will grow as a personality, you will have the opportunity to learn from the best and experiment to the fullest and touch the diversity of professions possible in practice ”, encourages D. .

The Role of Parents in Choosing a Career for a Graduate

Parents are often faced with the question of whether to allow a child to choose a career path on their own or, on the contrary, to make a decision for a young person who is just taking the first steps towards an independent life.

“A little earlier I had to advise young people on professional issues and the most beautiful stories were when the children themselves wanted to see their parents or another close adult in the process. However, this is not always the case. I believe that parents should provide all the information, share their experiences, express their ideas, expectations and allow the child to make their own decisions. By giving a young person the freedom to decide, we also give them responsibility for our actions. And how else to become an adult? I believe that the most gratifying results in a child’s professional journey will be seen by those parents who assume the role of partner (listening, supporting, advising) rather than expert (what can and cannot be done) ”, advises R. Bagočiūnaitė, who teaches at Kaunas College.

“Parents make two mistakes: when they decide not to interfere at all in the decisions of the young person and when they begin to choose for their child. The truth is somewhere in the middle. Parents must understand that young people may lack the skills to explore alternatives. and sometimes they lack a clear vision of the professions, so their help should be offered. If the child does not want to discuss the options with the parents, it may be suggested that they visit career professionals for help to analyze your skills.

It is important for parents to remember that many things have changed since they studied and began their careers, so it is not worth strictly demonstrating the truth to the child. It is much more important for the child to realize that the parents are on their side, that they are not indifferent to the options, but that they will respect, listen and support them ”, says D. Kraskauskienė.