Kristina, who lived in Japan, on the silence of women in marriage, the secrets of beauty and the true role of geisha.

– Who brought you to Japan?

– First of all, apparently dreams. I always say that you have to dream, but you don’t have to hold onto those dreams. The right time and place will come, and life will fulfill that dream. When I was 25 years old, I had graduated, I had a job, a son, life sent a contest to study language and culture in Japan. I won it and left.

– But have you been interested in Japan before?

– Now you can find everything on the Internet, then you had to look for information in magazines and books. I watched programs, I conducted books, catalogs. When I arrived in Vilnius, I went to the Japanese embassy, ​​I was interested in the ikebana tradition. Tried creating them at home. That attraction came from within me. It had nothing to do with my work or science. While some advanced west, my heart was in the east.

– How is the impression of Japan different from the real situation?

– It was very different. I have had to live with many families, I have traveled with different people, so my experience is different from the usual tourist impression. When they take you home, they give you and they wash you, and they prepare you to eat and to make the beds, you experience that country in every way. Until then, for me, Japan was so distant, mystical, shrouded in technology and legends, inaccessible, people, cold, that it kept its distance. This is not the case. I can deny that they are a closed country. They are open, they accept, they invite, they show, they entertain. Extremely hospitable. For example, we interacted so much with the teachers that when I had to leave, the whole group got up on the fifth morning and came to join me.

– Which of those household items surprised you?

– First, the structure of the house. The living room is a little above the drum. You have to take your shoes off in it, leave what you brought at the door. Another thing: a very small kitchen with many items. The Japanese love to cook at home. Unusually, especially in smaller apartments or houses, there are no beds. Many sleep on the floor, on the mat. If you sleep in the living room, in the morning the mattress is rolled up and piled up in one corner. The Japanese have very few closets. Hanging clothes hooked on hooks on the walls. The news that a tsunami, an earthquake can strike at any moment, forces people to have as few things as possible. In winter, the heater is air-conditioned in many places, but it’s still cold enough.

– And when it comes to women, what are their responsibilities in the family?

– Now there are different families. There are working women. But it is your conscious decision. In Japan, there is still a fairly strict approach towards women. If she marries, by default she becomes a good mother, a good wife, takes care of the home and raising the children. A woman’s investment in the comfort of the home and the education of the children is very important here. When I lived in Japan, many older women had never worked. I also had to meet a young family. The woman had graduated from university, studied in the United States, returned, got married, had no children yet, but was not working. I took care of the house. I asked him if he wanted to work, but he said no. I asked him what he does in his spare time. He said that he wants to improve his English, besides that he likes flowers, the garden. It is your choice. However, despite the fact that women take care of their homes and their children, they do not forget themselves. It’s great to see older women go to gyms. People over the age of 60 to 70 can do yoga and, most importantly, enjoy it. Japanese grandmother makes twine easily. Other women go dancing Hawaiian dance. Japan is not just a tea ceremony. They are also interested in other cultures. Additionally, there is a strong sense of community among women. They meet to socialize, to be together. They show what they know, drink tea, have fun, go out into the garden.

– You say that children’s homes are more of a women’s duty. And how do you see women in your professional career?

– Women who are not married or who have not had children usually go to work. But in any case, in Japan, women are still second only to men in the workplace. It is difficult for her to achieve certain responsibilities simply because of her attitude and traditions. That is not to say that it is impossible, but I have not met a single woman in a leadership position. Even in state institutions and universities, they are usually assistants. Japanese women are very intelligent, educated, they are capable of a lot, but it is difficult to break into the heights.

– Do many women form families? Do you still choose the other way?

– The problem is not your choice. Many want families and children, but cannot. One of the reasons – can’t find the other side, because they recycle, they don’t have time. Another is that they use a lot of drugs and antibiotics to avoid getting sick and wasting days. As a result, male and female fertility declines and they are no longer able to have children, even if they want to. Many people are being treated. So here it goes: if you want to pursue a career and start a family, go to America. Many wealthy parents, if they can afford it, send their daughter to America for a different life.

– The fact that the Japanese work overnight is not a myth?

– No. I asked the women how they work. Many admitted that sometimes they have to work at night: “You come to the bathroom to change clothes, there are showers, you sleep with your head on the table.” Men work even harder. It happens that you come to work and you see that about 10 percent. people sleeping with their heads on the tables. But that has been the case before. Now, as far as I know, there are two extremes. I have read that women do not even allow themselves to go to the bathroom to achieve results, it is becoming popular to use adult diapers. Another extreme is that some Japanese companies, noticing a drastic drop in the ability of workers to work and the deterioration of health, made the decision at 10 pm, turned off the light, refused to record when a person arrives and when he. It seems that even large corporations have finally started to care about the man, not just profit.

– Let’s go back to the women. The Japanese are famous for their youth. What is your secret?

– Younger people only care about external beauty, older and internal ones. My tea ceremony teacher kept saying she didn’t like Matcha tea. But I drank it every morning because it helps keep my skin taut. In fact, he didn’t even know how old he was. Her oldest son was in his 30s, he was supposed to be in his 60s, but she looked much younger. That porcelain skin and the absence of wrinkles fascinated me. So one of the beauty secrets is Matcha green tea. Another is avoiding the sun. The same teacher of mine drove a hat with a hat and wore long driving gloves in the summer. His skin was white and white. Another secret of both indoor and outdoor beauty is the sauna. There, various women meet, sit in hot springs, communicate, pour out their hearts. After such a procedure, the family returns satisfied, calm.

– When it comes to beauty, I can’t help but ask about Geishas. What are your responsibilities?

– I will speak only from my own experience. I had to spend one night with a geisha, it was a gift from a Japanese family. We went to the geisha’s house. It is true that it was a more representative evening. What is your role in relation to men, silence. We invite each other home, we feed ourselves, we invite a geisha. She arrived disguised, with traditional makeup, with clothes. She drank Japanese beer with us, played, engaged us with various songs, showed her dances with fans, played an instrument. It was such a personal show, a cultural transmission. It’s definitely not just men’s entertainment. Geisha awakens the kind of romance, tenderness, flirtation that every woman can find in herself. Create such a romantic and idealized relationship. It touches your heart, but you don’t.

– Do you have plans to visit Japan in the near future?

– Yes, I plan next year, because Japan is closed this year. I hope I can go out with like-minded people next year and experience Japan again.