Kęstutis from Vilnius: I buried my chosen one on our wedding day

He grew up in Biržai

“We have known Sima since childhood, we attended the same gymnasium” Saulė “in Biržai, – says Kęstutis. – We made friends probably because we were both very similar: free birds, who love nature and snuggle out of town every time. I really enjoyed fishing, I spent many hours with a fishing rod … “

According to Kęstutis, even then the couple learned and liked to enjoy and appreciate the little things.

“We see a beautiful beetle crawling across a leaf, we look at it and they are both happy …”, recalls the man. “But we were realistic in life, we accept it as it is …”

Studies in Lithuania and work in England.

After graduating from the Biržai “Saulė” gymnasium, the paths of the young people parted. Kęstutis started studying information systems engineering at Vilnius Gediminas Technical University, Sima went to work in England.

When the girl returned from England, she came to Vilnius and began studying business design at Vilnius College. The couple began to live together. Often they both went to nature, they went on excursions.

“After diagnosing Sima’s bone cancer, another very unpleasant thing turned out: it was in the spine, so no surgical intervention was possible,” Kęstutis recalls. “That’s why they gave him chemotherapy …”

Pay to live on this day

According to Kęstutis, Sima’s unexpectedly serious illness was a severe blow to all her loved ones, who tried to help the girl in any way they could.

“There were several periods of chemotherapy, both more difficult and easier,” recalls the man. – As soon as Simai improved, we immediately went to nature or to our homeland Biržai to visit the house …

“When Sima got sick, we realized that we have to live in this day, because we don’t know tomorrow …” Kęstutis shares his thoughts. – We learned to enjoy not only each day we spent together, but also the smallest beautiful things we saw: a sunlight suddenly appearing from the clouds, a little bird, a beetle carefully crawling on the leaf … We do not think about tomorrow. , we live here and now …

According to the man, at that time the disease had already seriously damaged the girl’s body, Sima could barely walk.

“I bought him special walkers and canes,” recalls Kęstutis. – We also bought a large and comfortable folding chair. As soon as we saw that the air was better, I put that chair in the trunk of the car and go to nature to enjoy, change the environment … After all, a person is alive while moving … “

Radiotherapy

Studies after chemotherapy sessions have shown that cancer development has stopped for a while, but it wasn’t for long.

Since June, Simai has changed treatment, radiation therapy has been started.

“Sima began to get worse, the development of cancer got much worse,” recalls the man. “I no longer had the strength to go to nature, the episodes of pain became frequent and strong …”

Seeing this, the young men began to prepare their apartment for the girl’s nursing home. Unable to combine her direct work with her nursing, Kęstutis asked her mother from Biržai and Sima for help.

The joint effort helped for a while, but in August, the density and intensity of Sima’s episodes of pain got really high.

“Sima began to be tormented by simply inhuman pains and we were definitely not prepared for that,” Kęstutis recalls. “We didn’t have any special equipment at home or certain pain relievers that were needed very quickly …”

Neuropathic pain

As the disease progressed, the intensity and magnitude of the pain attacks also increased.

But it was a different pain than usual when we scratched or cut ourselves. So it’s an open place that can be treated, refrigerated, cared for properly so it doesn’t hurt and heals faster.

“The cause of Sima’s pain was completely different. It was caused by a growing and progressive cancer in his spine that put pressure on the nerves, says Kęstutis. – This is a type of neuropathic pain for which no medicine really helps to control it. Conventional medicine can alleviate that normal physical pain, but it is very difficult to combat pain of neuropathic origin, because its origin is completely different …

According to Kęstutis, the girl’s pain was constant, not episodic.

While the cancerous shape in her spine was initially smaller, so was the pain. But as he got older, the pain got stronger and more frequent.

“I don’t know how Sima endured those terrible pains,” says the guy. “He was probably a very strong person … As far as I know, it’s a really crazy pain … And if even the strongest drugs didn’t always help, you can only imagine what he had to suffer …”

According to Kęstutis, psychologically he was extremely affected by the fact that he saw his beloved suffer great pain and could not help him with anything.

“Of course, we did everything we could,” recalls Kęstutis.

Transfer to the hospice

By early August, the density and intensity of Sima’s episodes of pain had already surpassed what Kęstas and Sima’s mother could do from home. Professional help was needed.

According to Kęstutis, he called a doctor from the National Cancer Institute, with whom he had previously been consulted about Sima’s disease. She advised seeking help at the hospice of Blessed Priest Mykolas Sopočka.

“I knew that at that time the hospital was crowded, there were no places,” says Kęstutis. “However, the hospice representatives who came to Sima’s house to visit the house decided that it was necessary to take the girl to the hospice hospital as soon as possible …”

In fact, there were no places in the hospital of Blessed Priest Mykolas Sopočka hospital at that time, but an additional bed was built for Simai.

“Of course, the conditions in the hospice differed from those in our home like the land of heaven,” Kęstutis recalls. – The bed in the hospital was huge, easy to handle and adjustable to the lying position … We soon moved Sima to another room, where they even allowed us to turn her bed to the side of the window so she could see the sheets. of the trees …

Hospise Simai immediately adjusted the pain and performed the so-called lymph node drainage to remove the swelling of the legs, which was already quite large for the girl at that time.

According to Kęstutis, the hospice staff told them very kindly and in detail, that the visiting hours were not strict, the food was excellent.

“At the hospital, I realized that they were doing everything for their patients,” recalls Kęstutis. “Sima loved butterflies, so the hospice staff decorated his entire room with butterflies, he really tried to get as many nice impressions as possible for my girlfriend …”

There are no impenetrable walls

“At the hospice of Blessed Priest Mykolas Sopočka, we realized that there we can ask for the fulfillment of our most secret wishes,” recalls Kęstutis. – I knew that Sima always wanted to get married. We decided to do it now … not delay tomorrow, we don’t know … And the hospice took care of helping us very well … “

The wedding preparations gradually took off at full speed.

Kęstutis took the wedding permits from the civil registry office, the hospice administration arranged with the diocese for the priest to arrive at the hospice to register, and they took care of all the details of the ceremony.

A wedding dress with butterflies was even sewn, a wedding photoshoot was commissioned with a professional photographer …

But fate decided otherwise …

“It only took a few days for Sima’s biggest dream to come true …” Kęstutis recalls that his words were difficult for him. “Instead of the wedding, we had Sima’s funeral on the same day … We always hoped to get better, we hoped the pain would decrease, maybe it would be possible to apply some other treatment … But it happened differently …”

According to Kęstutis, he remembers and appreciates the last period of Sima’s life when he was in a hospice.

“Hospise Sima was much calmer, more fun,” recalls Kęstutis. “I was very happy to be able to see a loved one who was not in terrible pain, that we could not only communicate, but even plan a wedding …”

According to Kęstutis, it is always extremely important for the patient’s family members to maintain the patient’s self-esteem, self-confidence, not to treat him as a disabled person, not to “discount” him. It is important to learn to enjoy even the smallest things with him, so as not to let him despair.

During a serious illness, the psychological stress that a patient experiences is enormous, so fatigue and exhaustion can be achieved very quickly. Let’s save our loved one from that, let’s focus their attention on even the slightest bit of joy, it really helps!

We need to understand that that moment with this person is all we have in that moment. So let’s rejoice and don’t think about what will happen tomorrow.

The Blessed Priest Mykolas Sopočka Hospital in Vilnius provides free professional medical and nursing care to children and adults with terminal cancer and other illnesses in the hospital and patients’ home, the press release read.

We kindly ask you to allocate your 1.2 percent. from GPM to Vilnius Hospice of Blessed Priest Mykolas Sopočka. More information: http://bit.ly/VilniausHospisas