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“The question should not be how to control, but how to build a relationship with a child or adolescent who trusts adults and tells them what they are doing in cyberspace and is not afraid to know if something strange is happening. . When such a connection can be established, control no longer makes sense, because the children themselves share what they played, with whom they interacted, ”says psychologist Eglė Gudelienė.
According to her, full control over what and how children play online is not very possible for parents, according to the press release. “I would say that it is more important that parents guess their children, because they can really find games faster than parents. Of course, if parents are interested and know quality educational games, they can offer them to their child, but I would prefer that parents only see what games the child has downloaded and filter that content ”, advises the interviewee.
The psychologist also recommends playing with your child for his favorite computer game or at least staying curious while the child is playing it. This will help to understand the context of the game, if it is not harmful to him, and also to get to know the child better, whether he is interested in strategy, role-playing games or reaction games.
Fighting in the game cannot be compared to violence.
According to E. Gudelienė, violent games should not be on any child’s computer, but there should be no rush to remove any game that contains fight scenes. “There are often conflicts or fights in games that are not bad in themselves, because in fairy tales we often have ‘good’ fights against ‘bad boys’. For example, if in a game the evil disappears as soon as you touch it with a magic wand or a sword, it is not a violent game, it is a fight and the opportunity to unleash internal aggression safely. But computer games that contain shooters, gushing blood, appropriate sounds or video effects are really harmful for a child, ”explains the psychologist.
According to E. Gudelienė, research on the effects of violent computer games on adolescents and adults who play them has been done for about 20 years, but researchers still do not agree on whether violent content has a long-term effect. term in the human psyche. . “People who play violent computer games are known to be more tolerant of aggression. They do not become more aggressive themselves, but they become more tolerant of aggression and do not react as quickly to its various forms, such as bullying.” says the interlocutor.
Associative photo.
You can also find out how to play computer games safely from February 8-13. at Safer Internet Week events. During the annual global initiative, the “Connected Lithuania” project will also pay close attention to the topic of harmful content on the Internet: 4th-6th grade students will be able to participate in educational lessons on online games, online friends, safe behavior. and harmful content online and in the safest national internet contest.
A computer is recommended no earlier than three
According to the psychologist, the virtual space is similar to a stranger, so parents, taking into account the individual characteristics of the child that is being raised, must answer for themselves when their children are already sure of knowing it. “We will not avoid it, but the later the virtual space appears in the child’s life, the more space it will have to experience and learn about the everyday world, where there are also interesting and pleasant things. Still, the virtual space is very attractive, like a candy party, and after receiving such a strong pleasure, it is difficult to find an alternative ”, says E. Gudelienė.
Most professionals agree that a computer is not recommended for a child younger than 2.5 to 3 years old and can be accessed later, ensuring safe tools and content. At preschool age, computer games can help you better prepare for school, as the Internet is filled with a variety of educational tasks, but the time you spend in front of the computer per day should not exceed an hour. At school age, it is recommended not to spend more than an hour and a half to two in front of the computer and, in reality, adolescents should spend at least as much time as they spend in cyberspace, not including night sleep. “For example, if 8 hours is for sleep and 8 for lessons, the remaining 8 should be for staying and actually communicating with friends, family or pets,” he said.
What to do if these recommendations are not followed? E. Gudelienė advises not to think of restrictions, but of alternatives. “To achieve a balance between the digital world and the real world, it is important for parents to make sure to communicate with the child after he leaves the virtual environment: go for a walk, talk, play board games, take care of every day . needs, visit close people whenever possible. It is important to be together in the family, seek common interests and respect the world of others with respect. Communication with parents is necessary for the child and adolescent to grow up safely and they feel needy, otherwise the virtual space often becomes a substitute for communication ”, the expert shares.
Restrictions: if you notice disturbing signs
Without prioritizing control and restrictions, the psychologist does not hide that there are cases in which they are unavoidable. “It makes sense to do this when we see the changing behavior of a teenager: increased anxiety, shutdown when no longer connected to lessons, is in front of the computer at night. They are signs that the time of access to the Internet should be limited ”, points out the psychologist. According to her, such controls can use technologies such as the Family Link mobile app, which tracks and limits screen time.
E. Gudelienė also emphasizes the importance of safety issues at all ages. “It would seem that teenagers should already have clear rules for the safe use of the Internet (do not share personal information, do not send photos of their homes, communicate carefully with strangers, etc.), but experience shows that teenagers quickly bond with friends virtual and reveal too much information “, – he says.
Safer Internet Day, an initiative of 150 countries held on February 9 this year, also aims to improve this situation. The aim of the initiative is to address current digital challenges and promote safer use of the Internet and digital technologies by all people, especially children and young people.
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