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Unfortunately, they could no longer live together: on a sunny February morning they said “goodbye.” He stood out without any anger, reproach, without a drop of anxiety. “I have never felt so calm, reconciled with myself. Life has never been so bright, ”Jurga said in his last moments.
Creativity
Creativity, like love or faith, is one of the most intimate subjects for me. It is always difficult to speak publicly of creativity, love, faith, simply because this whole trio, as an internal process almost independent of will or common sense, has been, is and probably will be a secret from me. <...> I like words and what can be done with them. But I also know that there are experiences in which any concept becomes defenseless, meaningless, empty. Therefore, I agree with those metaphysicians and astrophysicists who maintain that not everything can be described. Maybe I’d even be happy if I suddenly shut up one fine day.
Jurga Ivanauskaitė in 1989 / Photo by Algimantas Reklio
Jurga Ivanauskaitė graduated from MKČiurlionis Art High School, later – Graphics at the Vilnius Art Institute. She created the scenery for Gytis Padegimas’ performance based on her own play “Don’t Play with the Moon.” However, even while studying painting, he admired more than graphics, and Jurga, a Jurga artist and writer, was constantly fighting in his soul.
“Jurga was very impressed, so when she returned from the trips, she tried to bring them to life by all possible means,” says her sister Radvilė.
Although he wrote prose his entire life, a couple of years ago he decided to publish his first book of poetry, Dance in the desert. For this, she thanked the writer Dovile Zelčiūtė, who read her works, edited the poems, and encouraged her to publish the book. In a couple of nights, D.Zelčiūtė also released Jurga’s latest poetry collection, “Ode to Joy”. “Zelčiūtė was the godmother of Jurga’s poetry,” Radvilė smiles.
Radvilė Racėnaitė / Photo by Tomas Lukšis
Parents, Radvilė
In winter the house is visited, / through closed shutters / the invasion of snow is not seen, / not even thieves visit it. (“The end of summer”, from the collection of poems “Ode to joy”).
Since childhood, Jurga spent his summers in the summer resort of his grandparents, the poet and literary Kostas Korsakas and the writer Halina Korsakienė. Even last year, as soon as he felt better after another chemotherapy session, he rushed to the Valakampiai forests. Jurga loved them as the greenwood grandparents’ summer house.
He was going to entertain or invite friends, but when he left for the summer, it seemed like he didn’t need anything.
He was a communicative person: he went to guests or invited friends, but when he went to the summer house, he seemed to have nothing he needed, neither friends nor the hustle and bustle of the city. Jurga was hard-working and demanding of herself: even in the summer she would get up at eight in the morning, and at nine she was sitting in front of a typewriter or a computer and did not get up until night. “I am pathologically disciplined. I took it from my grandparents and my mother indescribably ”, said the writer.
In the evenings, Jurga enjoyed exploring the woods around the house with her sixteen-year-old sister Radville. What was he talking about? According to Radvilė, about everything and nothing. In macabre languages, full of self-irony, they surprised many. “The sister is not only a great nurse, but also a virtuoso of black humor,” she said after returning from Sweden, where she had endured many difficult surgeries.
Photo by Jurga Ivanauskaitė / Kęstutis Vanags
Father Stanislaw and the Dalai Lama
George’s father, Stanislaw, was a teacher and spiritual guardian, one of the few people who did not turn his back on him after the scandalous novel The Witch and the Rain. The Capuchin monk also did not condemn the writer for his Buddhist pursuits. “Jurga appreciated and appreciated their friendship. Traditionally, before Christmas, Father Stanislovas would send her a greeting (a postcard or a drawing that she had drawn) and always put a” plot “on the envelope, which we then shared at the table. Christmas, “says Radvilė.
Another Master that Jurga especially respected and appreciated was His Holiness the Dalai Lama. He listened to several sermons, a series of lectures and received several consecrations: “The Dalai Lama believes that true yoga today is to overcome problems and not go crazy living in the West, not to distance oneself from them in the Himalayas. If I consider myself a Buddhist, for whom inner peace is the most important thing, then I must discover it in myself and in my surroundings ”.
The Dalai Lama and Jurga Ivanauskaitė
Beatlemania
My main hobby was the music of The Beatles, Pink Floyd or The Doors, which I imagined in a hippie community or just outside the Iron Curtain while listening to it.
During their studies, Jurga and his classmates would often meet at his home, light Indian incense, sit on the floor, and spend hours listening to Beatles music.
Once upon a time as a devoted musician, he even committed a petty theft.
Once upon a time as a devoted musician, he even committed a petty theft. A doll, reminiscent of John Lennon, suddenly disappeared from the display case of the extremely popular “Dwarf” cafe at the time. No one missed that dwarf, and in the Jurga household he became a highly respected attribute. After a while, Yoko Ono, who was stitched up by Jurga and Radville, “sat down” next to her.
For many years, Jurga did not listen to the music of The Beatles, and last year she asked a friend to record the entire discography of this group.
Jurga Ivanauskaitė visited India in 1996. / Photo by Radvilė Racėnaitė
Rock movement and gears
In 1988-1989, there were such rock marches – walks all over Lithuania with rock and tricolor bands. In a panic, I was afraid someone would see my passport with my father’s name on it: Igor, get me off the bus, condemn me, and it would all end very tragically.
Jurga was passionate about everything: life, work, any other activity, and what he took, he took with great passion. For two years, he was on the same bus with rock musicians to another Lithuanian city and participated in rock marches through Lithuania. If necessary, they even sat down to exchange group paraphernalia. When Sąjūdis started, she became an equally passionate correspondent for the Sąjūdis žinios newspaper.
Jurga’s first collection of short stories, “The Year of the Humble,” appeared a little earlier. Punk Nėrius Pečiūra-Atsuktuvas, who participated in rock marches together after many years, called Jurga “mother of punks”, because, according to him, it was this book that contributed a lot to Lithuanian. punk movement.
Photo by Jurga Ivanauskaitė / Butautas Barauskas
Travel
Many travelers will confirm that they have seen a sunrise or sunset for the first time in their life in a foreign country, finally saw the stars and the full moon, heard the murmur of the water, the wind, the singing of the birds or felt the goodness and the warmth of the people … Not all the sky, the air, the earth and its inhabitants are different, and because we are different when we travel. After escaping from the cage of everyday habits and obligations, we suddenly regain true human freedom, we regain lust, joy, and fullness of life.
Many months in Nepal, India, the only trip with her sister to Tibet, endless impressions from Egypt and Peru, a frantic trip with the artists from Užupis to the Venice Carnival, an unfulfilled dream of going to Jerusalem … As I said Jurga herself was addicted to travel. , movement, always new impressions. He landed only in those lands that were related to spiritual quests.
She was addicted to travel, movement, new impressions.
Since I read David-Neel’s book “Magic and Mysticism in Tibet” for the first time, the three words in this title have been inextricably linked to Jurga. Without forgetting that Tibet today is an occupied, tortured and desecrated country, it has always been considered an Other mystical reality.
Memories of Tibet helped Jurga survive even the most difficult moments of his life, when he could only travel to foreign lands with his thoughts and memories.. “I often go back to Tibet thinking. The Himalayan landscapes saved me even on the operating table, each time before sinking into anesthesia and falling again. Anyway, I would like to go to Jerusalem, because her name and image are quite mystically related to my medical history, ”said the writer after a few months in Sweden.
Jurga Ivanauskaitė in Tibet in 1998 / Photo by Radvilė Racėnaitė
Seventh page
Being very close to death, you clearly realize that when you leave here, you will remember unsuccessful career turns, awards, money, backbreaking work, and a deadly career to wonder for what purpose. You will remember pauses, periods of peace and quiet, communication, being in nature or just doing nothing when you realize the moment HERE and NOW. I never had time, not for myself or for others. And only now do I feel that I have become the queen of my hours and minutes, to be able to share time with others. I notice that when people are around me they hastily stop, relax and forget about tomorrow’s work and can talk from the bottom of their hearts almost until morning.
Sometimes we talk on the phone about impressions of his filming with Russell. It helped me “switch” from a life-threatening hospital routine to a movie scene – I’d dreamed of getting there since I was a child. <...> The shoot has captivated me from the first moments: I watched Nelė Savičenko and Rasa Samuolytė, barely choking back tears like a fallen “soap” novelist who “screams” in her cinematic text.
After hearing the diagnosis and the very frustrating predictions, I felt more drastically separated from others.
Hearing my very frustrating diagnosis and predictions, I felt more drastically separated from others, but then I told myself that I had not learned anything new except that I would die and the world would continue to exist without me. After all, sooner or later he would still have to get out of here. I never doubted that death is as much a part of the human drama as life.
The joy in which you step into the warm golden ocean from the hollows of suffering is so powerful and unfathomable that it cannot arise from the human heart, but is part of the infinite God. God who is allowed to approach when we come out of pain, and most importantly, feel it within us. That is why I am not afraid of death, because I know with absolute certainty that from this joy that is being given to me more and more, but still limited by carnality and humanity, one day I will embrace the extraterrestrial light, freedom and happiness. perfect …
You can find more lasting memories in the special issue of “Žmonės” magazine “Leaving too early”. You can buy the magazine at points of sale.
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