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Actress and director Andra Kavaliauskaitė works with children who have experienced violence, creates performances and speaks to them. The stories he tells from the lips of children are simply shocking.
“Talking to teenagers, I couldn’t believe that we really lived in a space and a world like that. You can’t seem to listen to a fairy tale, “says A. Kavaliauskaitė.
Shocking children’s stories revealed
According to actress and director A. Kavaliauskaitė, psychological and physical violence travels from generation to generation. It is gratifying to be able to stop a vicious cycle of violence in one family or another, but it is different.
Talking about what hurts is extremely difficult. Many adolescents have mentioned during the conversation that they are either afraid, ashamed of themselves or no longer see the point, because they no longer find people in their environment to trust, count on and not be betrayed.
I mean schools, psychologists, social educators. There are schools where there are few adults who can at least see children who experience really big problems in their families, ”says A. Kavaliauskaitė.
The actress recalled the performance she was creating when she had to listen to the many children and teenagers they encountered.
“When a sister does not protect a sister and violence occurs in the home. The girl is raped after a party by a mother’s friend. When a religion teacher approaches a minor and he or she experiences physical violence for the first time. {…} A religion teacher uses a boy to masturbate. How a mother makes love to her child. These are just some of the stories that are included in “918”, says A. Kavaliauskaitė.
The director urges everyone to talk about it and not shut up. He recalled a recent performance in Kaunas, which was followed by a conversation between children and parents about what was happening: “Art can encourage talking and talking.”
She looked up, noticing that at that moment, some were talking, skrolina their phones, and elsewhere, children experience violence. He recalled the words of a child: “I was a son, a father, a brother, a mother, a caregiver in the family, but not a child. God, you’ve created so many roles, but isn’t it too much to lift one shoulder? ”, A. Kavaliauskaitė was surprised.
The pandemic highlighted the problem of violence against children
Children’s rights experts told a press conference on Friday that they rescue children who have suffered one form or another of violence on a daily basis. Unfortunately, the culture of violence against children in our country continues to flourish.
Children are most often abused by those closest to them: parents, grandparents, or other loved ones. And these figures are far from definitive, since many cases of violence are not included in the statistics, they are not reported to the authorities for fear of speaking out loud.
In the first nine months of 2020, up to 63% of all perpetrators of violence against children. there are people related to them – parents, grandparents or others – – 1,330 out of 2108 cases.
Last year and in 2018, up to 69 percent. they were the closest people of all recorded cases of violence against children.
The majority of children suffer physical violence, a little less abandonment and, thirdly, according to statistics, psychological violence.
According to them, although the statistics illustrate the trends, the real scope of violence against children is even greater. Not only are not all cases of violence reported, but often the adults themselves do not recognize the violence in their behavior.
Ilma Skuodienė, director of the State Service for the Protection and Adoption of Children’s Rights, noted that she had lived an extraordinary moment: the quarantine and the entire environment of the pandemic highlighted the problem of violence against children.
“Currently, Lithuanian families are living again in a restless state of mind, some people are already working and studying remotely, and if the quarantine is announced again, we will be forced to spend all our time at home.
During the quarantine, the circle of whistleblowers about possible violations of children’s rights was significantly reduced, which made it difficult for the Adoption and Protection of Children’s Rights Service to obtain information on children who suffer violence.
They were not reported by schools, non-formal education staff, or treatment facilities. That tense time only demonstrated that the general situation in the country is terrifying – not for the first year in a row, most cases of possible violence against children occur in the immediate environment, violence from close people, ”says I. Skuodienė.
Responsible for the children’s line: it is difficult to seek help when listening or seeing parents
The director of Vaikų linija, psychologist Robertas Povilaitis, says the issue of physical abuse last year was the fourth most frequently mentioned difficulty on the children’s phone. The topic of physical abuse became less common in April this year, but became more common in May and June.
“We also constantly receive calls and messages from children and teens online about emotional abuse, sexual abuse or neglect.
During the three quarters this year, the children made 1,230 calls about physical abuse, 395 about emotional abuse, 275 about sexual abuse, 134 about neglect and 1,417 about bullying.
It is difficult for children to seek help for violence and abuse, and if violence occurs in the home, it can be extremely difficult to seek help by listening to or seeing their parents, so the role of those around them is very important to realize. violence, ”says Vaikų linija.
The way adults perceive their behavior is very different from how the abuser perceives the child. Part of society still considers light slapping of a child, rough pushing or grabbing to be normal, rigorous upbringing or anger outbursts, uncontrollable emotions, and raises a hand against children. When anger subsides, adults calm down and think that the child forgot everything just as quickly. However, any physical violence affects minors for a long time.
A part of society still misunderstands the concept of negligence. This is imagined to be an extreme case where a child dies of hunger, lives in unsanitary conditions, does not wash, does not attend school, and is completely abandoned. Today, however, there are a number of children who experience constant failure to meet their physical, emotional and social needs or neglect.
Child rights advocates argue that of all forms of violence against children, psychological violence is the most difficult to clearly identify and identify. There are cases in which the parents themselves are unable to recognize psychological violence in their behavior.
“If the achievements of a child are constantly compared with those of other children, if we often say that he is not good or as good as a sister or brother, if we continue to threaten and intimidate with taking a computer, stop being in a club or just bother with many activities and keep repeating that must be the best, all this is not the correct education. This is psychological violence ”, says the director of the Service for the Adoption and Protection of Children’s Rights, who presented a series of social announcements on different forms of violence against children.
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