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These days, Vygaudas and Loreta Ušackai celebrate the 30th anniversary of their friendship. About a decades-long love story: from the lips of V.Ušackas.
– Your wife and I crossed the street 30 years ago. What was that acquaintance?
– The acquaintance was unexpected. So often in life that the unexpected sometimes becomes eternal, so is our eternal marriage. And we are in the editorial office of the Atgimimo newspaper. It was a publication by Sąjūdis, whose editor was Rimvydas Valatka, and Loreta worked there as a secretary. I kept getting there as a young Jew, carrying items. However, once I brought the item in, it caught my eye and I couldn’t get it out of that eye until now (laughs) We started writing to each other more and got together, so we lived for 30 years.
– It was love at first sight?
– Well, apparently like that. When we both remember, we say that we fell abruptly into each other’s eyes (laughs)
– Has your relationship been idyllic from the beginning?
– You know, my life was diplomatic. And when I was studying in Norway and Denmark, the distance also went up. But a year later, the marriage. When I returned from science, I soon had two children, first a son Raimundas and then a daughter Paula. Loreta and I traveled from Brussels to Washington, London and Moscow. We changed maybe 19 apartments and houses in 30 years together. Well, and we realized how useful it is sometimes to give up unnecessary items and share with charities.
Luke April / 15min photo / Vygaudas Ušackas with his wife Loreta
– Today, it is customary to live single for many years, and you got married just one year after leaving. Were you so sure of your relationship at the time that you didn’t want to wait any longer?
– You see, things were different from what they are now. Today, my younger colleagues greet me and say that 30 years is my whole life. He wanted the younger generation to understand the pleasure, joy, and responsibility of starting a family. My grandfather used to say that family strength is the sustainable foundation of society, community, and the state. So we focused and realized that we could be different. And we are very happy with that, because it was an adventure that has been the happiest and most responsible for me and my wife Loreta so far.
– After sharing a photo of you and your wife on social media, he left a note: “We only 30 years together. “Did those 30 run so fast?
– Well, looking at it now maybe too fast (laughs) It is not that “stop, the moment is lovely!”, But I say: I was like cold water when my young colleagues said that 30 years is a lifetime. And now I reply, perhaps very soon. That trip was and is full of various colors, wonderful moments. And when you can give yourself and the world a son Raimunda and a daughter Paul, here is the most important thing that we can be proud of.
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– 30 years of really knowing a lot about the current situation of Lithuanian couples, some do not remain married for several years. Do you have a recipe for a successful marriage?
– It all depends a lot on the family. Both my father’s family and the family of Loreta’s parents had family values, mutual respect, the ability to listen to each other. The ability to listen and engage are things that are needed in the communication of different people. Whether it’s work or science. I believe that the foundation of a successful marriage recipe in the family is maturity. I mean, family is infinite happiness, but also infinitely great responsibility, because you build the foundation, the family chain with your wife, your husband or your children. He commits himself to their education, their cultivation, by standing them up. Therefore, I would like not to rush the moment, but to appreciate it, which is what we do. And secondly, there must be respect, the ability to listen, commit and find the harmonious and sustainable development of the family.
– But in those 30 years was it all? Were there more serious crises?
– As they say, there is no house without smoke, that, of course, was all. And that distance when I worked in Afghanistan. Well, it was more difficult for my wife and children because they spent time in Lithuania and because according to my contract it was a war zone, the family members were worried because they could not come and it was only possible to return to Lithuania every two months. But in such cases, you must have a sense of community, a sense of responsibility, a commitment, and eliminate that smoke when it occurs. And anyway, I am very happy to have a frost free port for our family, a wife, Loreto, the mother of the children. And I really think it was the best decision I have ever made.
– So love has changed your life a lot?
– Definitely. Love is such a thing: it is with you, it accompanies you, it comforts you, it defends you, it supports you. I really feel sorry for those people who did not experience that feeling.
– You have two adults. Are you already dreaming about grandchildren, or maybe you don’t want to be grandparents yet?
– I really want to, I look forwardlaughs) The daughter is already married to John, they live in the United States, near Los Angeles. And Raimundas postponed the wedding with Koriste on September 10 due to the coronavirus. That’s right, so let’s wait to see which one comes first. But when we go to the sea, we see our classmates playing with their grandchildren, distributing new photos, it gets a little jealous. Children also know how happy we will be when we see grandchildren.
Photo of Lukas Balandis / 15min / Vygaudas Ušackas with his wife Loreta in Šventoji
– How are you going to celebrate this beautiful 30th anniversary?
– In the morning we start with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and in the evening my wife and I will go to the restaurant. Now we are in Cyprus, we will have dinner in a beautiful fish restaurant next to the Mediterranean.
– And what would you want for you and your wife this time?
– I’ll tell you at night when we see each other. I do not want that 15 minutes tell (laughs)
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