Whoever put the new movie “The Secret: Dare To Dream” on their vision board should be locked up.
Inspired by Rhonda Byrne’s 2006 book of positive thinking, the film has Katie Holmes portray a Louisiana crab fisherman whose life is forever changed by a traveling knight who spits New Age wisdom. This schlock belongs to the VHS player at a cult orientation breakfast.
Our first taste of what’s to come is this opening scene: A smiling boy named Bray (Josh Lucas), who calls himself a teacher, is dining with Miranda (Holmes), a widowed seafood fan and her three merry children. Bray just met the clan in distress, but has somehow made his way into his little New Orleans home for food. Then his peddler sermon begins.
“The more you think about something, the more you are attracted to it,” he says to the enraptured children.
“Okay,” responds the son. “This is me thinking about pizza.”
Ding dong! Someone is at the door. OMG it’s the pizza maker. Only Bray didn’t order the pizza. . . The children manifested it.
Seat belt.
Later, the girl who loves horses becomes the proud owner of a pony. When the roof of Miranda’s small house is damaged during a hurricane, she arrives to find it fixed by Bray, who did the pro bono work. Where did you get the patch?
“It just appeared,” he says. “She was probably floating in the swamp hoping to be useful, and then she found me.”
We found out more about Bray, portrayed with Lucas’ serial killer charm, through flashbacks of past trauma. The final twist when that event collides with the present is tremendously implausible, even by the standards of a movie based on a self-help book.
Director Andy Tennant’s tone, by the way, resembles that of religious movies, like last year’s “Breakthrough” with Chrissy Metz. Holmes is healthy, and his third-wheel suitor, Tuck (Jerry O’Connell), has good intentions, even if it’s omelette. The music is cheesy and inspiring. But everything is covered in materialistic filth.
When a character in a Christian movie is rewarded, for example, it is usually because of strong faith and good deeds. Here, getting loot is easier than hooking up with the “Cash Cab”. Say pizza and one comes.
That’s why when Bray speaks smoothly, like, “Let me ask you something: Can you see yourself as a lawyer? In our minds, he is Harold Hill, the lying instrument vendor of “The Music Man” or the climate wizard of “The Rainmaker”. There is no high-minded moral lesson in lazy selfishness.
Why has this movie been made now, anyway? The book, which was hugely popular in its day, came out 14 years ago and was championed by a still-dominant Oprah Winfrey. Sure, “The Secret” continues to sell, but the fundamental rule is: “Hit while the BS is hot!” Today, the smart money would be in “White Fragility: The Musical!”
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