DEAR ABBY: I have been married a little over a year. My wife took a trip to Florida to get some things out of storage and turned it around in a two week vacation. She is now traveling back with the mother-in-law, which I did not expect.
Yesterday she announced that she does not want to talk to anyone, including me, and she will only text for the next three days because she is too tired.
I feel rejected and like yesterday’s news because she barely called me and she almost forgot to say good night. I do not think this is healthy for our relationship, and I have divorce anxiety to boot. Is this normal?
NEWLYWED GUY IN IOWA
DEAR GUY: Something’s going on with your wife, and unless she’s normally this uncommunicative, her unwillingness to talk to you is not normal.
Do not pressure them or make them feel guilty about lowering your divorce anxiety. Give her the time she said she needed to decompress and get her thoughts together.
When she and her parents arrive, you will have plenty of time to clear the air.
DEAR ABBY: I am disabled and live about 2,000 miles from my best friend. For months now, she has been talking about her plans to have a serious renewal ceremony on her 10th wedding anniversary. Although I am on a steady income, I have saved every penny I can afford.
As it turns out, I’m not invited. She has asked online that anyone who has received her invitation and has not sent her RSVP so she knows how many people need to tell the catering to prepare them. My invitation was not lost in the email or in cyberspace. I was just not invited.
I am very hurt by this because they always claim that I am their best friend. How should I approach this?
UNINVITED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR UNINVITED: You have the right to feel hurt. ‘Best’ friends do not treat each other that way.
Do it by asking them why you left the guest list. She may not have invited you because she knew you were on a fixed income and assumed you could not attend. However, if that is not the reason for the rejection, then you may not have had a close relationship as you assumed.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were invited by an older friend to have lunch on his terrace while we observed the social distancing rules. Before we left his home, we thanked him professionally because we greatly appreciated the visit, especially considering our lack of social interaction during the pandemic.
When we got home, I wrote a thank you note and put it in the mail. However, I’m wondering if I should have sent an instant text or email message to our friend as well. Are there new rules that deal with direct electronic communication vs. old-fashioned tank notes?
WONDER IN ALABAMA
DEAR WONDER: Many people use direct electronic communication as a way to avoid ‘hassles’ and expenses of a handwritten tank note. Making the time and effort to show your appreciation in the traditional way instead of doing both was not a faux pas, so stop worrying.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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