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Wednesday was the last day of the Taoiseach in the Dáil before the holiday recess.
Before he left and after telling everyone the compliments of the season and best wishes for the New Year, he put the icing on the cake by leaving a most glorious Christmas present for his opponents.
Talk about spoiling them.
The backbenchers at Fianna Fáil were sick.
Micheál’s Christmas Clanger fell down the chimney of the Convention Center on a sleepy Wednesday afternoon. It brought great joy to all the opposition boys and girls, especially those from People Before Profit, Solidarity and Sinn Féin.
Richard Boyd-Barrett arrived first, his excited shrieks echoing off the Dublin docks as he staggered back on his heels in awe of the magic of it all. Looking at her shocked little face, it was hard to know what she might do next: pass out or cry or gape at the media once she calmed down.
At that very moment, RBB must have felt like the boy in Barry’s tea commercial.
“Comrades, you will never guess what Santa brought!”
Well there it was, Micheál’s incredible Christmas Clanger, all shiny, new, and completely unexpected.
When Richard sent his letter to the North Pole asking for “a Che Guevara PlayStation game, a new plaid shirt, a megaphone and a surprise,” never in his wildest dreams did he think the surprise would be a Fianna Fáil Taoiseach standing in Dáil. Éireann. and stating that the € 64 billion state bailout package for banks in 2008, which happened under the leadership of Fianna Fáil and impoverished the nation, was not a “bailout.”
Simplistic solutions
But that’s exactly what Micheál Martin did amid Questions about the promised legislation during one of his routine fights with Boyd-Barrett. The PBP TD marveled at how the government can cite reasons why it cannot finance the laid off Debenham workers, but there were no problems finding money or setting a € 64bn precedent when the banks had to be bailed out.
The plot was taking a familiar turn: the Dún Laoghaire socialist attacked the Taoiseach for abandoning the workers, and the Fianna Fáil leader attacked Boyd-Barrett for “acting populist” and “driving people uphill all the time. pretending they are easy, “simplistic solutions …..”
So nothing is simple?
“ERA for the banks,” RBB buzzed from across the floor.
It was then that the Taoiseach had its sudden rush of blood to its head.
Micheál has grown increasingly frustrated as he daily denounces the “populist rhetoric” of opposition leaders such as Boyd-Barrett, Mattie McGrath and Mary Lou McDonald.
He responds by behaving as if he is being annoyed the most, which must be a great source of joy, spurring them to scale greater heights of provocation.
These days the Taoiseach is too easy to understand and they know it.
When he was on a hot streak attacking RBB, perfecting tactics to rouse the TD mob, the little spike in the rescue pierced Micheál’s composure once again.
He left, criticizing TD for “pretending they are easy and simplistic solutions when you know in your heart, you know in your heart …”
Taste!
Taste! Incoming from the socialist in the banks, totally predictable. However, he brought down the Taoiseach completely. Micheál stopped, clearly annoyed, made a double reaction and veered off course.
Do you want to talk about banks? Hey? Hey? He was very irritated.
“… I’ll tell you about the banks. The banks were not rescued. The shareholders of the banks were not rescued, the State took actions, the shareholders were not rescued.
Did you hear what he just said? No ransom? Ah, here.
But the red mist was coming down.
“That’s not a popular thing to say, but they are the facts,” he told an astonished Boyd-Barrett and the astonished handful of TDs who suddenly woke up in the darkness of the nearly empty auditorium. “But you never want to hear the facts because you live in a fantasy economic wonderland.”
Is not true.
Richard was already reveling in the magnificence of Micheál’s Christmas Clanger, the best gift any Boyd-Barrett toddler could have hoped for, and he was living in a true winter wonderland.
“I was blown away,” he happily told the media afterward.
But this was a welcome Christmas gift that many were able to share.
The Shinners were so delighted they gurgled about asking the Taoiseach to correct Dáil’s record and admit there was actually a bailout, unless the entire country, including Micheál’s party, had been living in an economic wonderland of fantasy for the last 12 years and imagining There was not this terrible bank rescue when there was.
Selective amnesia
People will be amazed. Was it all a dream?
Perhaps the Taoiseach, who was a member of the cabinet during those dark days, suffers from selective amnesia. It must have been a traumatic moment for him. On the other hand, it was a traumatic moment for many people, who would love the luxury of being able to forget.
If Micheál was being very technically correct, he was also irrelevant to the point of illusion.
Sure, it wasn’t a rescue at all. It was an excavation. What happened is that the country was in its prime and everyone had a whip around until they broke and then we all live happily ever after.
Oh darling.
After a very difficult few months adjusting to Taoiseach’s job, battling stupid calamities on the inside and a global pandemic on the outside, Micheál could use a good rest. He nearly came out through the gap on Wednesday and was about to show the Convention Center a clean pair of heels until next January, when he exploded on the last lap.
And to make matters worse, Tánaiste Leo Varadkar takes the Leaders’ Questions on the last day of the term.
It will be small prizes for all the thirsty kittens around the Convention Center on Thursday, because a certain cat will have cornered all the cream …
No ransom? Really?
As the Dáil ends for 2020, Micheál Martin hopes this Clanger will be for Christmas only and not for life.
Morto for him.
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