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Publication date: Wednesday, October 14, 2020 8:26 AM
If we’re completely honest with ourselves and with you, we’re actually quite glad that the biggest clubs in the country have chosen this week to release their goofy, doomed (in its current form) and cartoon comic book evil supervillain power. Animated (Project Big Picture), because it’s an international week and, to be honest, we thought we might be struggling to identify a worthy prick. Instead, there are six of them! Or possibly nine! Or a number in between!
So who is this week’s jerk?
Liverpool and Manchester United appear to be the main architects of Big Picture Project, which covers a huge mountain of shit with enough sugar to try to win enough support from genuinely desperate clubs, who might be out of business by Christmas, subsisting on the Premier League’s largesse to allow for a takeover . by the biggest clubs that would overshadow even the creation of the Premier League. But given that the plan concentrates power in a little more hands than Liverpool and United, the idiots are a larger group. Anyone in the newly formed ‘big nine’, which by including Everton, Southampton and West Ham itself only serves to emphasize how violent the rotation below the current elite has become, is, on this issue, an idiot until be shown not to be an idiot. . Interestingly, that means West Ham this week “is not an idiot.” Against all odds, 2020 still retains the power to surprise. Rick Parry, the man with the big bastards inside, joins the cast of cocoons for being fooled by everything.
They have done?
Like a government surely now no more than three days away from awarding Wetherspoons a £ 110 million contract to provide PPE to the NHS, the Premier League’s biggest bastards are determined not to let a good crisis go to waste. It is no exaggeration to say that the entire pyramid of English football is at risk of collapse, and if the Premier League clubs come to the rescue, they will want something in return. Well, something for the bigger clubs anyway, because to be honest the bottom half of the league has some ghastly little clubs, many of them little more than glorified EFL stragglers. The proposed solution is to prevent that from happening now with a large amount of cash from the Premier League coffers in exchange for everyone outside the Big Six / Nine knowing their place and accepting the price of their continued existence. It is the death of your dreams. The de facto control that the elite already has would be permanently entered, delivering all kinds of power, up to and including turning off the sports saving taps that are about to open. Basically, it ends the founding principle of “one member, one vote” of the Premier League. In other words, disaster capitalism. In other words, it is still the end of English football as we know it, but in a slightly different way and prolonged over a slightly longer period of time.
Surprisingly, given the world events that everyone has experienced in recent years, there are still a lot of people, many of them seemingly sensitive adult human adults, who point out that there are several good parts of Project Big Picture (none, it is true, goes as for including that shitty name among them) and we shouldn’t dismiss them just because some of the other bits are a little bit entirely evil and terrible. These sweet summer kids really seem to believe they can have the sugar without the shit. Against all odds, 2020 still retains the power to surprise.
Obviously, it is true that PBP contains obviously good things. There’s nods to absent fans, things about security, and most obviously that central and crucial commitment (albeit one that relies heavily on lovable American venture capitalists John W Henry and Joel Glazer acting in good faith) to redistribute cash. to help those lower down the pyramid. Now it could be argued that this is money that the Premier League already stole from the Football League when it was formed and that all the big clubs are really doing is giving it back in exchange for ever-increasing power, and you’re right. But still, that money is not only welcome; in many cases it is absolutely crucial.
But it’s no coincidence that this project, which has been talked about for years, has now appeared, rushed to the point where they didn’t even bother to think of a name that wasn’t crap. And it’s not just because Liverpool and Manchester United recognize and respect the need for international week content.
Any previous?
In the crazy fast-paced timeline of 2020, it’s only been a few days since Clubs in the Premier League voted almost unanimously to give something back to the fans they miss so much by charging them just £ 15 per time to watch additional games on TV.. Less than a week since a City suit said the quiet part out loud about B teams in the EFL. It’s been just over a week that Premier League clubs that have spent the last six months claiming poverty, trying to use the government’s licensing scheme or firing a beloved dinosaur, bucked the sport’s trend. still shedding hundreds of millions of pounds in the transfer window.
The very existence of the Premier League was and is a power grab, and it was only the beginning.
Mitigation?
Something needs to happen to save the football clubs in the lower leagues and it will inevitably taste like shit to a greater or lesser degree. The championship clubs that spend more on salaries than they contribute, even if this is a direct response to the conditions created by the existence of the Premier League, are not helping themselves either.
So what happens next?
The big bastards have probably overdone themselves. It’s also probably a deliberate excess so that when the reality of saving the pyramid involves a slightly less overtly evil concentration of power for the big boys, it doesn’t seem so bad. Either that or they really are just cartoonish and evil, which cannot be ruled out.
Mourinho corner
Quiet week for the big man with eight games in 21 days giving way to none for years. He seems to have relied enough on “Gary” Southgate that his weary boys are not flogged on England duty, despite some attempts by the press to suggest otherwise, which means we have unfortunately heard little from José. in the last days.
Dishonorable mentions
The aforementioned Ferran Soriano and his B-Team chat; The pay-per-view scheme; International football concentrates three games in a week during what is already a dangerously condensed season and makes us reluctantly accept that José is right about that; Arsene Wenger is a fiercely intelligent man with mostly fascinating and interesting ideas about the future of football, but still inexplicably unable to grasp that simply moving the location of the line from which offside is measured to a different point. will do nothing to stop the existence of offside. They are given in millimeters and people argue about them, because THERE WILL STILL BE A LINE AND A MILLIMETER ON THE SIDE OF IT, THE HANGERS WILL STILL BE OFF THE SIDE.
Prick of the Week Hall of Fame
No 4: Deadline
No. 3: David Elleray
No. 2: Frank Lampard
No. 1: Jose Mourinho
Dave tickner
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