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I saw the new Borat movie last weekend. Although it wasn’t as good as the original, it was a lot of fun and well worth seeing.
One theme of the film was that Borat had to brief the prime minister of Kazakhstan on how his mission in America was going.
To do that, Borat had to go to a Xerox store to fax home his progress and then wait forever at the store for a response and further instructions. We laugh, but most people used faxes until 15 years ago, some even more recently. What fun we have sending paper documents and the feeder jams after a few pages.
I look at the professional game of rugby union and wonder if there is a shred of creativity in it. The game has gone digital and we are still sending faxes.
I recently saw Johnny Sexton’s heroic drop-goal in 2018 and marveled at such control and discipline at the end of the game. A rainy day in Paris and Ireland needing to score three points.
Ireland, through a cross shot from Sexton to Keith Earls, took their only risk, but had to. France could concentrate its line towards collapse by waiting for the sole corridor: Sexton, throughout the process, would have to keep France honest. Finally, after 42 torturous phases, the Irish halves put them in drop-goal territory and Sexton conceded.
In a truly awful game, the outcome was spectacular, if you were Irish. How we marvel at those 42 phases. Advance little by little, make no mistake and watch the ball. His memory will sustain us in our helplessness.
In those specific circumstances, particularly in Paris, that was realistically the only way to achieve his goal. Very often, particularly in the Six Nations, you see a period of frenzied activity and suddenly on the monitor you get a phase count from some bean counting production assistant.
“Ireland just passed 22 phases.” There is almost reverence in his voice – what a fantastic achievement or maybe what a great defensive display.
For me, 20 phases is a sign of failure, an admission that you have no idea how to overcome a defense. Twenty phases is such hard work that you have often lost your form after 10, and the reality is that you have to kick the ball with a box kick because you are wrecked or because another capsule that rattles the ball will only cheer the team. defender. Kicking the box is a creative failure.
It’s a terrible indictment in the game to see centers going into rucks to clear them or trying to roll a poacher off the ball. It’s just as terrible to hear commentators talk about the centers being big jackals; I’m sure it’s a great skill, but getting in and out of contact is where these players should show what the game is about.
Twenty years from now they will look back and laugh at the idea of players running as fast as they can towards two or three defenders, clearing and coming back, etc. That is instead of accurately and quickly passing past the field and when the tackle comes the support players who are tuned to play outside the tackle.
I mentioned Peter O’Mahony’s discharge for Bundee Aki’s try last Saturday, mainly because it came out of nowhere. I scanned all the newspapers after the game and they all carried the image of Peter the Prince of passing perfection. It was like a novel photo: one of those albino gorillas at the zoo.
Can you imagine what Ireland could do if they had trained to play this way for the last year? Imagine if we had a team of Leone Nakarawas (a Fijian from Fiji playing for Glasgow) and Virimi Vakatawas (a French Fijian playing for Racing 92 and France). His first instinct is not to let the ball die at the tackle. Do Fijians have a patent or monopoly on downloading?
What would Ireland do if we had that player mode? In Paris on Saturday, are we going to send faxes or emails?
TS Eliot made a comprehensive but relevant statement on what should happen in Paris.
“Only those who will risk going too far will be able to discover how far they can go.” How far is Ireland prepared to go?
France will play football against us because that is Fabien Galthie’s philosophy. They put 38 points on a Welsh team in full force last Saturday. Five attempts against the Taffies, should have been eight or nine. The Welsh have regressed since Wayne Pivac took over and it is relevant to Ireland in how we finished the championship.
England, despite being a slow start, will get enough points in Rome to win the championship. I suspect that France, emboldened by their performance against Wales, will score a bonus point win against Ireland and chase England’s points total, but narrowly fail.
I also think Scotland, who narrowly lost to Ireland and England in February but beat France in Edinburgh, have a good chance of beating Wales.
If all that happens, Ireland could finish fourth. Ireland didn’t kick the box against Italy because they didn’t have to, but can you imagine a scenario where Ireland kicks the box again and a one-dimensional game to achieve a win but fails and Ireland finishes in fourth place? That would lighten the endless mood.
That’s never a motivation to shoot the ball, but if Ireland thinks they will go to Paris to try and win against a very confident and strategically competent team with a one-dimensional game, forget it!
France no longer has an agitated Guy Noves or a bewildered Jacques Brunel in charge. They are strong everywhere and sadly they have lost Teddy Thomas to injury.
Sadly for Ireland, that is, because I’ve never seen someone so touchy in the air or under pressure. However, it can persuade us to stop kicking boxes.
I looked at the French results of the last five years that are still relevant. Italy, surprisingly, have scored 22 points this year and 21 in 2016. So no one has put them even 30 points in five years except England in 2016. Four attempts is a great question. Box kicks for four tries?
Unbeatable
France is not unbeatable in Paris, but it has a lot going for it. His average of five is the best in the championship. That last row of Gregory Alldritt, Charles Ollivon and Francois Cros are really powerful athletes, all tall, all smart, all confident in possession and supreme footballers.
They are a serious proposition and France uses them as its main means of attack.
Antoine Dupont is the best scrum half in the world and if Will Connors spends the day leaving this guy out of the game, he will be a valuable contribution. Our rear will have to stay low at the time of the scrum, as the scrum in France is formidable.
Romain Ntamack has taken two years to mature, but he has progressed to the point where he has an unflappable game on every court. If you put the hot ball in the correct position, it can cause irreparable damage.
This is the first time that Andy Farrell has been able to make a definitive statement with his team. Ireland is not going to win the championship, but how they finish is totally up to him and the type of game they play. The words moan or bang are the ones that come to mind easily.
PS – Wayne Barnes is in charge, anything can happen!
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