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At the funeral of a father and son who committed suicide in a suicide pact, LUMENTOS heard that they were being asked “to make sense of nonsense.”
Speaking at the funeral mass for Tadg O’Sullivan, 59, and his youngest son Diarmuid, 23, Father Toby Bluitt said their lives and deaths had changed the lives of his family and community.
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The father and son were found dead from self-inflicted gunshot wounds on Monday near their farmhouse in Assolas, near Kanturk in Cork.
The body of Diarmuid’s older brother, Mark, 25, was found in his room. He died after his father and brother shot him.
Today, grieving mother and widow Anne O’Sullivan led mourners at the double funeral at St Mary’s Parish Church in Castlemagner, after which Tadg and Diarmuid were buried together in St Brigid’s cemetery.
Dressed in black and wearing a black mask, family members supported her when they arrived at the church shortly before 2 in the afternoon.
COVID-19 RESTRICTIONS
Due to Covid-19 restrictions, the church could only accommodate 25 people, but a crowd of around 200 gathered outside and in the parking lot across the street.
Inside, Father Bluitt told the congregation how Diarmuid, who would be awarded a BA in accounting from the Cork Institute of Technology next week, had a life full of possibilities for him.
He said Tadg worked in the auto trade locally for more than 40 years, recalling: “From my own encounters with him, I always found him very accommodating, friendly and happy in his chosen field.
“It could also be said that both Tadg and Diarmuid touched the lives of many people along the way as they traveled through life.
“Their lives and deaths have changed them all and they will never be the same again.
‘NO ANSWERS’
“So today, gathered in our grief, we don’t minimize the loss of their lives by trying to give them easy answers. Because there are no answers.
“But there are some things we do know in the midst of our pain.
“We know that this was not God’s will, that the Lord’s prayer teaches us ‘Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.’
“God’s will is not always done on earth as this week’s tragedy reminds us.
“We know this was not a ‘wake up call’, nor did it happen so that we can learn something.”
Fr Bluitt added that a darkness similar to the “darkest hour of creation” engulfed the O’Sullivan family and the local community in Castlemagner for the past few days.
He said: “The normally quiet local area covered at this time of year with a myriad of colorful autumn leaves became abuzz with activity and the autumn light was, for a time, a very distant memory.
‘DEVASTATION’
“The shock, the numbness, the devastation were impossible to imagine, and the news of the loss of three lives was incomprehensible.
“At times like this, to quote Jesuit Father John Reese, ‘a priest doesn’t come down from the mountain like Moses. . . inspired by God. ‘
“Like all of you, I too am struggling to make sense of this life-changing tragedy.
“Pain is never an easy burden to bear, and never again when it comes to us in a way that can only be described as untimely, shocking and tragic.”
Speaking to a small congregation in accordance with Covid-19 guidelines, the parish priest asked, “Did we choose to allow the heartbreaking turbulence of tragedy to hold us captive?
‘OVERWHELMING’
“To steal our destiny? Cloud the flash of light that will guide us on our way? Or do we choose to step out of the shadows and actions of the dark?
“Take small steps towards our destiny. Towards the light and brightness of a new day.
“We meet in such pain today, carrying a burden that not only appears to be, but is in fact, overwhelming.
“We come together to comfort and support each other in our common loss. We come together to make sense of nonsense. “
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Offering his condolences to Anne and the relatives of the dead, he asked the mourners to keep them in their prayers as they dealt with their loss and anguish.
After the emotional service, Anne O’Sullivan was flanked by two friends as she followed the coffins outside and waited for them to be placed in two hearses.
They were then taken to St Brigid’s Cemetery followed by a procession of cars.
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