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Tonight, for the first New Year’s Eve in six years, I will receive the dawn of another year without the man who is now my fiancé, but I know it is the right decision.
It is another day where many of us in Ireland had to make heartbreaking decisions for the greater good and of course I am no different.
I live with my beautiful mother (79), who you are in a high risk category like many of our loved ones.
I would have loved nothing more than my fiancé, who is in my bubble of support, to visit us to ring in the New Year with my mom, my daughter and me.
But in 2020 we have gotten used to making sacrifices and this, for us, was just one more.
I haven’t seen my fiancé since Christmas Eve when he made the decision to spend Christmas with his family and I wanted to be with mine.
We have followed the advice of Medical Director Tony Holohan throughout the pandemic.
As you warned, people who may have contracted Covid-19 on Christmas Day will be at their most contagious on New Years Eve, so we weren’t taking any chances..
But we know from previous studies that up to 50 percent of people could have Covid-19 without knowing it. They could be asymptomatic and infect others without the slightest idea of the possible “death sentence” they could pass on to a vulnerable person.
I’ve spent so many months keeping my contacts extremely low, and aside from the work tasks performed by social distancing and wearing a mask, I only see my family and my fiancé.
We got engaged in the summer after being apart for so long during the first lockdown. That first meeting after a separation of almost three months was simply magical. It was then that we decided that we did not want to separate from destiny again.
We drank champagne and chose a lovely ring that coincidentally resembled my mother’s. We were delirious happy.
We couldn’t have the party. We couldn’t even realistically set a date, but we knew that despite the tough times we’ve been through, along with the rest of the world, we would always have each other. Yet here we are again, in another confinement and on New Year’s Day.
Of course, in May we thought we were on the road to freedom when we chose our imaginary list of wedding plans for when people could finally dance again and be with us in a moment of joy.
Despite the time of separation once again, nothing really changes for us. We can’t be together, but we know we have a life ahead of us to look forward to.
And for both of us, caring for our loved ones is the most precious gift we can give as we enter 2021 full of hope for better days.
So when the New Year rolls around, I will hug my beloved mother and daughter and send my fiancé a kiss on FaceTime.
For anyone who is having difficulty making a decision about whether to see a loved one with a health problem, I recommend following public health advice.
It is better not to live with regret that you have unknowingly caused suffering or worse for a vulnerable person.
We will all have better days, I’m sure. And I’ll start planning my wedding soon.
God, how good it will be to hug, kiss, dance, and laugh like we’ve never laughed before!
Isn’t that something worth waiting for?
Irish independent
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