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Publication date: Wednesday, September 30, 2020 8:36 AM
Sure, Jurgen Klopp’s team has gotten off to a flawless start in defending the title so far and all of their main traditional rivals are either sort of trash or run by assholes or both, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing that can stop him. Liverpool win a second Premier League. crown this season.
Here are five things that could easily, or at least theoretically, frustrate the Reds.
1. La Rona closes everything again
It is not a joke. It was the only thing that came close to preventing Liverpool from winning the league last season and it already seems to be the most likely challenger this time around. My theory is that this season is much more likely to be canceled than last season, because any extended hiatus will come much earlier in the season. One of the main reasons (behind money, obviously, which was still the main reason) the 2019/20 season ended was because the break came right at the sweet spot where too much football had been played to get it out but too much. football was left to be fair to distribute titles and relegations and all that based on how things were.
This time the opposite will happen. Not even this Liverpool is going to get an impregnable advantage of 20 points in 10 games, fraudulent charlatans as they are, so when the second lockdown closes it with almost 30 games to go there will be less injustice by declaring the season void. and empty while pretending there was a long shot, largely theoretical but technically measurable, with specialized equipment, that Liverpool had not won the league.
2. Jurgen Klopp becomes obsessed with Roy Keane’s three-star review
After Roy Keane stated on Sky Sports that Liverpool’s performance in the first half “sank in the middle”, Jurgen Klopp laughs a bit like a maniac before announcing that he won’t let that bother him, insisting that in He actually feels a bit sorry for Keane and declaring the former Manchester United enforcer was nothing more than a “fucking … fucking”. And anyway, he has created a weapon that he can use against Keane if he ever finds it: It is a toilet chain stuck in a ball of clay with hooks on it. He throws it in his face and the hooks dig into his cheek. It doesn’t hurt to enter, that’s not what hurts; That’s when it comes out, because it rips a big chunk off your cheek.
Liverpool’s on-field results inevitably suffer.
3. Everton makes a Leicester
With all due respect to the relentless and genuinely exciting excellence of Liverpool football for over two years, we are firmly on board the Everton train this season. I give you my word on how insanely fun they are, and what’s really tempting is that they now have some players and, most importantly, a coach who are used to success and therefore don’t necessarily go and make a total Everton of the thing. They will probably continue to do so, but the crucial point is that they may not.
With City, United and Chelsea all slightly different flavors of shit and Spurs and Arsenal largely being Spurs and Arsenal, it’s the Toffees we have to turn to. And whatever his loyalty, he would have to have a stone where his heart should be not to find the idea of Everton spoiling Liverpool very, very funny.
4. Leicester makes a Leicester
He was very confident in two things before a ball was kicked this season. The first was that Liverpool were demonstrably still the best team in the country and it was very rare that they were not favorites for the title having won it by a million points. The second was that Leicester was doomed to follow The Tottenham Path and start this season as miserably as they ended the last. Delighted to have achieved a 50% passing grade on those two predictions and we’ll immediately skip over some thoughts on James Rodriguez or, damn, Southampton which already seem to be the unhinged ramblings of an idiot because they are.
The two possible obstacles in the works with Leicester doing a Leicester are the collapse mentioned last year from Champions League form to relegation form and the inconvenient fact that doing a Leicester now is even more difficult than last time. that Leicester made a Leicester. The really smart part about Leicester’s previous Leicester was that they did it at a time when everybody the Big Six clubs tripped over cocks to a greater or lesser degree. That is now only 83.33% true. Leicester won the league with ‘only’ 81 points and realistically this time around they will need to find at least another 15 on top of that.
5. Ennui
Manchester City and Pep Guardiola finally just got bored of being insanely brilliant at football. Theoretically the same could happen to Liverpool.
Dave tickner
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