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TOP comedian Dara O Briain has revealed that he is adopted and has said that the search for his biological mother was “positive” but “unnecessarily difficult.”
The Mock The Week host said he knew from an early age that he was adopted and had a “fantastic relationship” with his adoptive parents.
The 48-year-old said it wasn’t until years later that he thought again about how he was adopted.
In an interview with the Irish Times for their Winter Nights festival, he said: “I come from an incredibly satisfied family background.
“Being adopted [for me] it is a state of knowing that you are adopted, which is then not mentioned for years. And then later in life he would say, ‘Wait, am I adopted?’ “
The London-based presenter recalled that his father met him for lunch and they had a “clear up” conversation.
He said, “I said, ‘I think I remember knowing [that I’m adopted]’, and he said,’ yes, but it’s not a secret. I stopped telling you because, you know, why would you keep saying it?
“They were very supportive … It is mentioned, but why do you bring it up all the time?”
DIFFICULT PROCESS
After watching Philomena, a movie in which an Irish woman embarks on a quest to find her adopted son, Dara was inspired to begin her own search for her birth mother.
He said, “Maybe [my birth mother] you may want to know how it turned out. And maybe it’s our responsibility to say, ‘That worked, I ended up in a stable home and you should be great about it.’
The Wicklow native, now married with two children of his own, described the process of finding his biological mother as “positive, positive, positive” but also “unnecessarily difficult.”
Under Irish law, the mother’s rights to privacy override the adopted child’s rights to find out who they are, making it difficult for adoptees to discover their roots.
Much of the information he was able to obtain was marked as “redacted” and the presenter revealed that when he finally obtained his birth certificate, it was an emotional experience for him.
EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE
He said, “I remember getting this birth certificate, folding it and thinking, ‘I don’t want to open it.’ I wanted to find a quiet moment to open this document.
“I remember finding it and reading it for the first time. It is an elementary sheet of paper. It is a huge document to hold in your hand.
“I wasn’t crying or anything like that, but still … that other person is me.”
Dara has since met her biological mother and some biological siblings, but has yet to meet the entire family due to Covid-19 restrictions.
She added: “I talked to my birth mother about it today and said, ‘look, did you want this?’ and she said, ‘there was no choice in this.’
“It was all based on shame and convenience and a feeling of, just do this.”
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