Dáil’s answer to John Wayne on cooking the ham slice, by slice, by slice



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There used to be a great song called John Wayne. It must have been almost 30 years since The Rhythm Kings was a hit with Irish rockers, but it was a good tune. The irresistible single-line chorus was the appropriate material for worms.

Now how did it go again?

Oh yeah, we do. We have it now.

“It is a bird?

It is a plane?

Oo-oh no….

It’s Alan Kelly! “

That does not sound good. But we know that if AK47 had been on the scene when Rocky de Valera wrote John Wayne, it would definitely be the theme of the chorus.

Wednesday’s explosion of musical nostalgia was sparked by the Taoiseach’s reaction to Kelly’s persistent threats of a dark day of reckoning from the Dáil to come for him and his coalition government.

The Labor leader’s latest streak of gloomy forecasts has been running for more than a fortnight. You’ve been levitating like a carnival fortune teller over a bad Tarot card because you can’t get a direct response from the government about the procedure you followed in appointing our last Supreme Court Justice, Séamus Woulfe.

It’s all very entertaining, with Alan warning Micheál that there is nowhere to hide because he will get to the heart of the selection process or lack of selection process, no matter how long it takes.

As proof of his determination, he objected when the Ceann Comhairle called him to speak because the Sinn Féin frontman was enjoying a hot streak at Make Micheál Squirm Over Keeping Schtum betting.

“I will give way to Congresswoman Mary Lou McDonald,” Alan declared in surprise. Mary Lou did a double take, delighted, and Ceann Comhairle nearly collapsed from her throne.

“De-de-this is a very unusual procedure,” Micheál fluttered, a little nervous.

Although he’s well used to Kelly’s overcooked ham (all those years leading the group of enthusiastic amateur actor Marc MacSharry now support him), Tipperary’s TD’s tireless claim that he was avoiding questions clearly annoyed the Taoiseach.

After another wave of threatening contributions from Alan about what he’s going to do once he finds out the truth, Micheál responded.

“No John Wayne impersonation is going to baffle me, I can tell you that, in terms of how you keep suggesting melodramatically that you’re going to deal with people’s lives and all that.”

AK47 seemed quite flattered, it must be said. John Wayne, no less.

Although to be fair, Big Al was trying to go for more of Liam Neeson in the Taken vibe.

Like this saga of how aware the Minister of Justice (or his predecessor) was of the circumstances surrounding the choice of a judge and what their leader and then taoiseach Leo Varadkar knew and what the leader of Fianna Fáil and now Taoiseach did not they knew, it is repeated. In the House, Alan Kelly repeatedly vows to get justice, or at least to get the Justice Minister to go to the Dáil to account for her actions.

Mark your words. “Drip, drip, drip. Slice, per serving, per serving. “

That would be the ham. Pretty thick slices, then.

The way it usually is is that he stands up wearily and looks at Micheál with a serious gaze before gravely announcing that he is going to tell it as it is, calling things by name, correcting the Taoiseach on some facts of political life. and find out what really happened for the good of the country and parliamentary democracy.

As he said Tuesday: “I just know this. This will work out one way or another. We will get to the truth. “

A minister has to do what a minister has to do.

Drama

All of this drama could have been avoided if the Taoiseach and Justice Minister Helen McEntee had complied with the request from the combined forces of the Opposition that she enter the chamber to make a statement on the appointment process and answer questions.

On Tuesday, Micheál was resolutely resisting on behalf of Helen and, presumably, her boss Leo.

The pleas of the opposition to surrender and surrender went nowhere. Hadn’t Helen McAbsEntee answered questions at a committee meeting and elsewhere?

On Wednesday morning, the Justice Committee had to issue a statement confirming to the distracted Taoiseach and Tánaiste that the Minister had definitely not answered any questions at their concert.

Meanwhile, Alan Kelly is practicing his Liam Neeson in the mirror before Helen’s long-awaited appearance in Dáil.

In the Dáil, opposition deputies kept up the pressure, interrupting loudly as a pained Micheál snapped at how communicative he and his minister had been. They hardly noticed his final comment.

“She is prepared to come to the House tomorrow to make a statement and answer questions on this as well,” said the Taoiseach who, 24 hours earlier, told the Labor leader: “That kind of intimidation doesn’t work for me, Rep. Kelly. I just want you to know that. “

His surprise inclusion of Minister McPresEntee shocked his torturers. They continued to argue with him, this time about the good faith of his company. Kelly and McDonald suspected a betrayal was brewing.

The Ceann Comhairle was deeply fed up. Did they want the minister to address the House or not? Seán Ó Feargháil said that Micheál Martin had been very clear. “People have been asking the Taoiseach, understandably, if the Minister would come and answer questions,” and agreed that the Business Committee would meet to arrange for the Minister to appear.

Ó’Feargháil’s use of the word “understandably” was revealing.

Fun business

Mary Lou wasn’t convinced there wouldn’t be some funny government business at the meeting, trying to respond to her request for a full statement and plenty of time for questions.

“That is precisely what I heard the Taoiseach say and that is precisely what I propose to facilitate,” the CC responded.

Alan Kelly was also suspicious.

“Because I have been on this path before with the Ministers and I will not stop until my questions are answered… And I will. We will get there, Taoiseach. Trust me on that. Slice. Per slice “.

More ham please!

The committee met later in the afternoon. And there was a big dispute over the allocation of speaking time, with the Opposition thundering that the Government was still trying to “protect” the Minister of Justice.

Everything will clear up very soon.

Meanwhile, Alan Kelly (not John Wayne) is practicing his Liam Neeson in the mirror before Helen’s long-awaited appearance in Dáil.

“I want to know who else knew. I want to know what they wanted. If you are looking for sympathy, I can tell you that I am not ashamed.

“But what I do have is a very particular set of skills, skills that I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you catch up with me now, that will be the end. I won’t look for you, I won’t chase you

“But if you don’t, I’ll look for Micheál and Leo, find them and blow them up.”

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