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From the ‘unlikely partnership’ at Manchester United to Arsenal’s ‘twist’ in the race for the Premier League title …
No lives
Manchester United beat Southampton 9-0 On tuesday night. It was fun. It also lent itself to some obvious ‘Cloud 9’ headline pitfalls. It’s right there. It would be brave or foolish to try anything else.
Well, Mediawatch will allow you, dear reader, to decide which category the country’s best-selling newspaper belongs to with this:
Wednesday’s back cover: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer saw Manchester United match Prem’s record win by beating nine-man Southampton.#MorningPapersToday pic.twitter.com/DaKz6mWHRx
– Solar sport (@SunSport) February 2, 2021
Ralph Hasenhuttl is an Austrian. LOL.
Bloody hell
the Daily mirror He interpreted it directly with his newspaper report, but the website headline for David McDonnell’s article elicited a chuckle.
‘Man Utd proves Sir Alex Ferguson’s proverb to be correct once again in the Southampton demolition work ‘
Sir Alex Ferguson is mentioned literally once in the match report, because it is indeed the year 2021, and that mention appears in the final paragraph. It is there that we finally discover what this “proverb” was.
Martial made it 8-0 with his second of the night in 90 minutes, and James added the ninth in overtime. As Ferguson once said: football, fucking hell.
That, some 22 years after he said it when Manchester United beat Bayern Munich with two last-gasp goals in a Champions League final, is definitely headline-worthy when talking about a resounding Premier win. League over nine-man Southampton.
Right on the spot
The same website also has a pretty cool version of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. They really make you think that Daily mirror lot.
‘Ole Gunnar Solskjaer admits that an unlikely partnership is the solution to Manchester United’s long-standing problem’
The ‘long-standing’ problem at Manchester United? His right wing. And that’s absolutely fair; they have been trying to fix that flank for years without success.
But the ‘unlikely association’? Well that would be the £ 45 million right-back and an England international forward widely regarded as one of the best players of his generation. Manchester United have practically found Aaron Wan-Bissaka and Mason Greenwood on the back of the proverbial couch. No one could have seen it coming.
Why indeed
the Manchester evening newsMeanwhile, he’s busy asking himself incredibly simple questions before delving into strangely elaborate explanations when a simple sentence would suffice.
‘Why Manchester United let Luke Shaw rest for the second half vs Southampton’
Samuel Luckhurst writes 431 words when “because they were 4-0 up at home and he runs a lot, he was rested” would probably be enough.
‘Why Paul Pogba started on the bench for Manchester United vs Southampton’
Richard Fay writes 264 words when one, ‘rotation’, would suffice.
‘What Anthony Martial said to Jan Bednarek after Manchester United’s red card’
David Byrom and Bobby Vincent somehow drag “Martial said it’s not a foul” more than 305 words between them because this is the football version of Watergate.
And yes, we are just jealous of his mastery of SEO. Our attempt it failed, even though it only had 242 words and a single author. More deceive us.
Ref off
As furious as Mikel Arteta and David Luiz were with the Brazilian’s red card against Wolves on Tuesday, it is important to remember that they are not experts in the field, nor do they claim to be. There may be nuances in the rules that they overlook, subsections of laws that they forget or don’t understand.
It is therefore a relief that national newspapers employ former referees as columnists to offer vital insight and clear up the confusion.
Now it’s your turn, Mark Halsey from Sun.
David Luiz can’t complain about his red. The Arsenal defender hit Willian José with a penalty in the first half and was sent off for denying a scoring opportunity in Law 12.
It was unfortunate as the contact was minimal and seemed accidental. But the intention is no longer in the rules of the game.
“It will upset Gunners boss Mikel Arteta, but referee Craig Pawson got it right.”
Charming. Thank you. Let’s move on fr … oh, Mark Clattenburg’s Daily mail want to make your point understood? It seems that we have clarified that the referee correctly interpreted the rules of the game with the decision, but continue.
‘David Luiz was incorrectly sent off after giving the Wolves a penalty, it should have been a yellow card.
‘There is a law that protects teams from awarding a penalty and losing a player to a red card if a genuine attempt has been made to play the ball.
‘Luiz was really trying to get back together with José and it was an accidental foul. This type of incident is accepted as a penalty and a yellow card.
“Referee Craig Pawson and VAR Jon Moss got it wrong.”
To fu …
Thank the Lord, these experts have a platform for the populace to know what is what.
Crazy racing
In other news from the Emirates, courtesy of Sun…
This whole paragraph is wild. pic.twitter.com/m4AqohX7P2
– Fútbol365 (@ F365) February 3, 2021
A few questions:
Which of Arsenal’s 10th-place or 14th-place Wolves were in ‘this weirdest title race of all’ before the ‘unexpected turn’ in Tuesday’s game?
When did Nicolas Pepe and Thomas Partey have a son?
Why isn’t Runar Alex Runarsson worth referring to by name?
How can there be a ‘chapter’ in a ‘turn’ in a ‘career’?
Popped cherries
‘Bournemouth SACK Jason Tindall despite being in the championship play-offs’ – Sun.
Bournemouth SACK Jason Tindall after winning one of his last eight games, including losses to teams currently 13, 20 and 22 in the championship table: Mediawatch.
Recommended reading of the day
Adam Bate talks to Leigh Nicol.
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