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16 Conclusions (ours are great but these aren’t bad either)
1) There was a kickoff.
2) Daniel James was silly.
3) It was raining.
4) Chelsea goalkeeper almost kicked him in his goal. That would have been embarrassing.
5) There was a half time.
6) There was another kickoff.
7) Did I mention it was raining ?!
8) Oh shit, I didn’t realize Daniel James was still out there.
9) Lampard looks silly in a hat.
10) It must be raining a lot, Lampard’s hat looks pretty wet.
11) Nobody wants to see the charming Juan Mata ™ ️ mutter under his breath as he walks away. I hope someone gave him a hug.
12) Substitutes are supposed to change the game, Man Utd had a better bench than their starting lineup, and somehow managed to get worse when they made their substitutes, which brings me very well to …
13) Paul Pogba is a ruined blush.
14) Bruno Fernandes looks wet when he’s drenched.
15) I should have imagined Manchester United signing a Real Madrid wanted midfielder and a left-back who scored 11 goals last season.
16) Many puddles formed around the field as the players moved away. It must have been from all the fans, who were BORED TO THE TEARS. Buh dum tshhhhh, here’s hoping you stick with that zinger.
Mark Endicott, MUFC
Amnesia 0-0
Whenever a game ends 0-0, both directors played not to lose or both directors played to tie. I’m sick of the cliché!
The only reason the match ended 0-0 is because Lampard basically played not to lose the game (he eventually resurrected Jose in it). I don’t remember Degea being really worried at any point in the game, while Mendy was possibly the mom.
Ole could have played with three defenders and been more solid while playing at halftime, but instead he played with a formation that shows that he expected Chelsea to be on defense, ouch! I expected Chelsea to be Newcastle and they did not disappoint. The only mistake Ole made, in my opinion, was starting with Dan James. What’s really the point of it? For Ole to be more open than that would have been suicide, while Chelsea really shouldn’t need five defenders and two players to get a draw against the all-powerful Man Utd.
Teejay, Lagos (Man Utd would have won that game if Kepa had been in goal)
Solskjaer out
For all Solskjaer fans, this game tonight is why I shouldn’t have the job.
A great managerial performance in the middle of the week, but tonight it was terrible and it shows that you have no idea what you are doing.
Chelsea was there to take it and he stumbled his way into the game without making any real attempt to win it.
Tonight was completely embarrassing and ending the night at 15 is proof of the turgid manager we have.
Ownership is terrible too, but my gosh, I hope Solskjaer gives up before he ruins the love we all have for him.
Lion
Great gomez
Quick in the defense of Liverpool, specifically Gómez. He thought he was excellent against Sheffield today. Lots of comeback runs, decent in the air against McBurnie (quite a handful!) And they made a fair amount of useful blocks.
Maybe losing VVD has woken him up a bit? I wouldn’t want to speculate on laziness or lack of focus, but I wonder if knowing that VVD isn’t there to eliminate mistakes will force Gomez to focus more. Just a thought.
All the best for mailboxes,
Sam
Changing the narrative of the VAR
I am so sick of reading about VAR and hearing people complain on all media channels. “He’s ruining the game!”, “He’s killing the joy of celebrating a goal!” Just stop it. This same website it’s full of opinion pieces moaning about it.
It’s just embarrassing. Instead of complaining about the atrocious level of umpiring on the court and in the booth, we are having discussions about VAR that kills the joy of the game. Guess what, the second you remove VAR, we’ll have the exact same groan about how the game was ruined by XYZ’s poor decision.
Technology is fine. It literally works in almost every other sport it is used in, because the referees are competent, the rules are clearly defined when possible, and when there is cloudiness, the call goes to the attacker or to the initial call on the field. I don’t get paid to fix this shit, but here’s a VERY basic take on things for soccer:
Offside: The point should be to encourage goals. You can cancel a goal after the fact, you cannot do magic on a goal after it has been prematurely stopped.
The referee / linesman allows play to continue. The TV check looks to see if there is a glaring off the sides (i.e. there is clear daylight between the last foot / torso of the defender and the attacker), eliminate the howlers immediately. A line that has a standard width (suppose 2 pixels) is drawn from the defender’s last foot, or the torso point if applicable. If the foot / torso of the attacker is above this, there is no goal. If you are inside, you are online and it is an advantage for attackers.
Handball: the goal should be to avoid the howlers. I have no idea why there has to be a CSI level of examination for every play. Things go back to the pre-VAR rules. The TV referee should be able to intercede if he sees something obvious, a player is approaching.
This leads very well to ref. Of TV. They should work like rugby. If they see something blatantly wrong, they have to discuss it with the referee. For example, the VVD situation. Again, if the competition from the TV referee is poor, this is a moot point. But they should be able to go, it’s a dangerous tackle and a red one.
It all really depends on how good the users are. We can make modifications to make it a better system after this is fixed.
Joe Soap (The Universe)
Thoughts are with Andre Marriner at this difficult time. For what it’s worth, no one did more than him to try to influence the outcome tonight. Somehow, he couldn’t help but detect or miss enough to help his team cross the line.
If var is going to be this shitty, can we get decisions made by rolling a die? It’s faster, it’s really random, and it’s exciting. Surely TV would back it up because they already love all that sweet juicy gambling money. If this sounds ironic, it is not; I would really prefer it to the current system of increasingly incomprehensible decisions made by idiots. Martial red card, Pickford not red, Maguire without penalty, Fabinho penalty. Each decision was probably wrong and each one had a great influence on the games. The system is a shame because the referees who administer it are not up to the task.
Mint, CFL
Pickford and a preview
I wanted to write this before the weekend and the next set of narratives begins, but anyway …
Everton v Southampton: I imagine Ancelotti will be a fairly straightforward coach, so the first name on his team sheet will be the goalkeeper, and it will be Jordan Pickford. It almost certainly shouldn’t be. It should be suspended or withdrawn. As an Evertonian I lean towards the latter, he hasn’t been playing well and I think he’s incredibly tough mentally for a goalkeeper in that situation (look at Kepa) and the focus that comes with position.
The van Dijk incident has run and run, covered extensively in the mailbox, in the David Squires cartoon, by Piers Morgan, and at multiple press conferences. I think Pickford’s foul on van Dijk has been the victim of “outcome bias.” The fact that Van Dijk, arguably Liverpool’s best player, is missing the season makes it worse. Jon Nicholson really said that Richarlisons was better? I imagine Jon didn’t see it live because it’s a Premiership game, which he hates, and it collided with the Old Firm derby, so he’s making his comments after all the hot takes have been done.
It’s a perfect storm of the weekend’s biggest game, under pressure, England player, Big 6 captain, VAR … If you look at the shots from the goalkeepers’ union (David Preece, Rob Green, Tom Heaton) they say that Pickford is doing what goalies are doing. they’re supposed to do, jump, and look great, except Pickford is in such bad shape that he completely misses the ball’s flight, has no awareness of where other players are, and crashes.
He definitely should have been cautioned regardless of whether he was offside or not, which was debatable. That’s. The goalkeeper out of shape makes a mistake, an important player for the opposition is devastatingly injured, to that is added a very dubious VAR offisde, in a derby.
So yes, there will be venting, but the accusations of “assault” and premeditated tactics throughout the team are absurd (as is stumbling across photos of Liverpool players making bad tackles for almost 20 years).
That took longer than I thought. Anyway, let’s go back to the preview …
The other reason Pickford won’t be eliminated is that there will likely be other changes further up the field. Richarlison is suspended and there are doubts about Coleman (who came out in the derby) and Rodríguez (who was [redacted]…). So last Saturday’s poor results, like Gomes, will likely receive a stay of execution.
I think ideally Carlo is hoping to have to trade Iwobi for Richarlison, but we could see Sigurdsson, Davies, Bernard, Gordon, Kenny and Godfrey near the starting eleven (how many of our players have old people’s names as last names? ?).
However, the player that will fascinate me the most is the rival: Theo Walcott. Sorry for Theo, he’s had some all-time highs in his career (none really at Everton) but that hat trick in Croatia in 2008 was probably the zenith. He is such a medium player; when the team is playing well, he’s great, when he’s not, he’s never going to change the game or grab him by the neck and dictate terms.
So obviously playing for some good Arsenal teams really helped him, but when they started to decline, he did too. At the beginning of Silva’s reign, I remember Football365 saying, after we got a result in Bournemouth, the move by Richarlison, Walcott and Tosun (ha!) Was cause for optimism, but sadly that was with Silva. The absolute nadir was in the Cup derby last season when we lost to Liverpool reserves with Ancelotti and Walcott had a surprise.
Still, I don’t wish him ill, he always tried and seems like a decent guy. Put five on it to mark the winner.
That’s because I really don’t know what to do with Southampton, they’ve had some strange results (5-2 at home to Spurs) but they seem to have good players, and Ings and Adams will be our suspect defense under pressure. If we score 3 points, it will be a massive statement about our chances of breaking the Top 6, and more of a barometer than a draw against Liverpool in a game that was too crazy to judge. Let’s see.
Health
Matt, EFC, London
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