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Mattie McGrath clicked the heels of her ruby red slip-ons and repeated over and over, “There is no place like home … there is no place like home … there is no place like home …”
Nothing happened.
Time and time again, meeting after meeting, he begged him to return to Kansas (or Kildare Street, as he is better known) but his passionate pleas for support fell on deaf ears.
No one moved to help him, even though Mattie’s fellow politicians wanted nothing more than to escape this strange place of the Convention Center and return to the comforting confines of Leinster House forever.
But they were afraid.
Because experts confirmed what they had long suspected: that TDs are special and should cocoon like the old ones, but in a more extravagant and expensive way and in public view. They cannot expose themselves to potential risks in the way that ordinary mortals must while conducting their day-to-day affairs in a sensible manner.
In May, the HSE clinical director at Dáil’s Covid Committee was asked if the advice given to TDs on how to protect themselves against the virus in the workplace was the same as the advice given to workers in other areas of the workplace. society. At the time, politicians looked around at the huge gaps in the chamber and wondered if they really needed to socially distance themselves to such an extent.
“There is no general advice given for every scenario” was the cautious reply when a huge security blanket was thrown over the inhabitants of Dáil Éireann. This careful pampering did not sit well with most of them, but they did not want to go against the recommendations of experts, even as the elaborate measures screamed more and more that while all people are precious, some are more precious than others.
Since the Dáil moved to the Convention Center for selected sessions, the verdict on the place of deputies from all parties has been extremely negative. They hate it, for a myriad of reasons, including the expense, the hassle, the cavernous size, the lack of atmosphere, the loss of the feel of a parliament in action, and food, which doesn’t compare to what’s available in Leinster. House.
There have been many murmurs about the inadequacy of their temporary accommodations, with Fianna Fáil’s Marc Mac Sharry drumming loudly for the past few months and speaking what most of them think.
But Mattie McGrath, it seems, was the only one who brought that case to the Business Committee, where decisions are made.
Yellow cobblestone road
With the Dáil sitting at Leinster House for two days this week, frustration with the new split living arrangements boiled over after Sinn Féin’s Matt Carthy opposed the proposal to cross the Liffey on Thursday for the last day of work.
Why can’t TDs find a yellow brick road back to Leinster House?
It sees parents firing their children on school buses and people returning to work in meat factories and other places, yet the Dáil cannot submit a proposal to permanently return to work on Kildare Street.
Meanwhile, he declared, the government has been able to produce guidelines that will allow more people to sit in the Dáil bar than in the much larger Dáil chamber.
It is time for the Business Committee to find a solution to end this “crazy” and “ridiculous” stage of affairs, he thundered, to the silent assent of the few socially estranged around him. Besides, that’s it, from Mattie McGrath, who was very offended on TD by Cavan-Monaghan’s cheeky slip from his ruby red shoes.
Where was Matt Carthy when he, Mattie, was the only one on the committee making noise and extolling the virtues of home? Where was Sinn Féin when it passionately advocated a return to Kildare Street?
“Magnificent in the end!” Mattie roared. “Magnificent work of Sinn Féin. This is bronze hypocrisy. It is shocking. Shockin ‘. “At the Business Committee last week, when he called for the Convention Center to be abandoned and a full return to Leinster House, Sinn Féin did not support him.
Carthy smiled at him. “You’re just making things up now.”
The combined brilliance of the 160 members of the Dáil cannot propose their own workplace
“I’m not! Done … Done!” McGrath yelled indignantly as Mary Lou McDonald pulled him out of his seat across the aisle. The two whistled at each other from both sides of the staircase as Richard Boyd-Barrett joined the call to ease strict social distancing agreements on camera with the fascinating observation that it costs 50 times more to provide public health protection for a TD than what it does for a school pupil.
The Ceann Comhairle had to point out that, at its last meeting in late July, the Business Committee had the opportunity to change the way social distancing is applied, but the members “in fairness, with the exception of Rep. Mattie McGrath” They were coupled with expert advice.
“Thank you,” Mattie said, with a claimed glow.
Off-camera hostilities
The Taoiseach was drawn into the discussion. It has nothing to do with the government, he said, although everyone agrees that Leinster House is much more pleasant and docile. He will comply with any decision that is made.
In the end, with Matt and Mattie criticizing each other in the background, it was agreed that the committee would meet within the week to consider possible solutions. A division was called and hostilities resumed in the rear of the chamber, off-camera, while they waited to vote.
“Bell short,” the Ceann Comhairle yelled, wanting to fix the problem as quickly as possible.
“You’re a political braggart,” Pádraig Mac Lochlainn shouted, glaring at Mattie McGrath. “Everybody knows.”
McGrath left his seat and went to the back to chat with Michael and Danny Healy-Rae. Mac Lochlainn, Sinn Féin’s whip, marched around the railing, expecting a showdown. “What proposals have you come up with to address public health problems?” he asked repeatedly.
Mattie struggled loudly in his corner, but in his enthusiasm his words were unintelligible to the reporters eavesdropping on him in the newsroom.
“Your strategy is to be dishonest every week. You are the most dishonest TD I have seen in my nine years here, ”roared Mac Lochlainn, as Mary Lou and Matt Carthy watched in fascination from a few rows down. “Completely dishonest.”
Mattie screamed angrily and began to form like a man who was about to ask his friend to hold his coat. “Shhhh!” Michael Healy-Rae said as his brother Danny laughed. But no one could stop Mattie. “Silence! Silence!” Michael repeated, looking at the reporters.
The vote to leave the Convention Center session was lost. “Welcome aboard, Mattie” Matt smiled at Tipperary’s still furious TD, noting that they both voted against.
“Unlimited hypocrisy,” he growled.
With a good wind and a little luck, they might come up with a new work plan next week. But first they will have to accept a one meter distance rule, noted independent TD Thomas Pringle.
Amazing how the combined brilliance of the 160 Dáil members cannot come up with a proposal for their own workplace.
Sometimes you would be afraid for us.
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