Although many of us live in cities with millions of other people, our personal social worlds range from 78 to 250 people, with an average of about 154 people. This means that most people interact with a small number of other people – and those people remain relatively stable over time, according to reviewer Robin Dunbar, a professor emeritus of evolutionary psychology in the Department of Experimental Psychology at the University of Oxford in England.
These people are organized into layers within social networks, and those layers depend on cognitive, emotional, and time constraints on our capacities for interaction.
The organization of our cognitive social networks
These networks consist of layers consistent with relationships of varying quality: People considered intimates (family) and close friends are close and small in number. Kinds of friends and acquaintances run away from one another and grow in numbers.
How humans and animals are
The bonding process in both primates and humans is complex and time consuming, the review said.
When animals are faced with the problem of maintaining group stability under stress, the solution is connected relationships, which ensure that members will behave in the same way and stay together. Primates achieve this bond through social care – an activity that is time-consuming but can also create a sense of reciprocity, commitment and trust.
Endorphins are volatile, so their need for constant activation to maintain bonding levels makes bonding time-consuming.
Laughing, singing, dancing, telling stories, eating and drinking are activities that, when done with others, can activate the endorphin system in a way that is time-efficient and “remote-controlled”, the review said.
Virtual activities “slow down the rate of decay on relationships, but they will not (eventually) die,” Dunbar said in an email.
“Face-to-face is necessary for that, it seems. There’s something very special about knowing the eyes across the table, touching them and touching them, that no digital media can match yet.”
Seven pillars of friendship
Our knowledge of other people, built up by being in close contact, helps us to bond and increase confidence that others will meet our needs.
Emotional and physical density
At the core of friendships between humans and primates are close in terms of spatial closeness and feel close through emotional closeness, influenced by time spent.
“These ensure that bonded individuals stay together so that they are on hand when support is needed,” Dunbar said in the review.
To keep someone in your close circle of friends, you need to see them at least once a week; the best friends laugh at least once a month; the friends lie down at least once a year, Dunbar said.
“Fall below these rates, and the person will slip into the layer within a few months,” he added. “This is because the time you invest in direct interaction with someone determines the sense of emotional closeness you have with them – and the feeling that this is reciprocal.”
The social and health consequences of personal bonds
Trust and available time are crucial for social networking. When these are threatened by internal stressors as well as external threats (such as a pandemic), relationships are in danger of declining in emotional strength, great circumstances or eventually breaking down.
Because of the greater chance of forgiveness and inherent bond, family members appeared to jump back from the lack of opportunities to interact, Dunbar said. Friendships require more investment for constant connection and will disappear more often when threatened.
Social divisions can have detrimental effects on our health, well-being and longevity, the review said. The number and quality of close friendships a person has can affect his or her happiness and capacity to recover from illness. Smaller social networks are associated with greater feelings of isolation and loneliness, which can affect rates of illness and death.
In light of the social distancing, quarantine, and lockdowns imposed by Covid-19, Dunbar expected some likely effects: a weakening of friendships that could lead to awkward reunions; an increased effort to make contact with old friends after lockouts; and fear of getting the virus to reduce how often some people (introverts and psychologically cautious) visit places where they encounter people they do not know.
The inability to assess the behavior and infection risk of low-ranking friends and distant family members could result in smaller, more inverted social networks, Dunbar suggested. Network patterns may return to normal within a year, but some friendship ties may be weakened enough to become known, the review said.
“Spending more time on close relationships can boost well-being in the short term,” Courtney said in an email. “Indeed, recent research has observed a reduction in loneliness following the pandemic – this may reflect the fact that many people are now clinging to their closest bonds. … Although physical contact is now much more limited, many of these are other (virtual )) connectivity is as plentiful as ever. “
To maintain relationships, emotional closeness and trust during this time, stay as much as possible in virtual touch, Dunbar suggested.
And remember your loved ones, “I’m still here and thinking of you.”
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