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Alyx Gorman explains it to Steph Harmon
Hello alyx, why is everyone sending me messages about Robert Pattinson’s chaotic pasta?
Robert Pattinson, the Twilight star turned into a powerhouse, has used his cover profile with GQ magazine as an opportunity to promote the business adventure of his dreams. A plate of pasta with the same “fast food credentials as hamburgers and pizzas” that “you can have on hand.” He calls it Piccolini Cuscino, or “Little Pillow”.
He tried to demonstrate his prototype for Zach Baron, who interviewed him on FaceTime in isolation, and involved cornflakes, burned a hamburger bun with a lighter, a large amount of sugar, and exploded a microwave in the London apartment. Batman producers are paying for him to live.
In other words, it is the perfect business opportunity for our times.
Sorry, cornflakes, a microwave, and sugar. Are you trolling us?
In the words of Baron, who has written a really excellent profile, “even now, I don’t totally know.” Still, there is a long and continuing legacy of pop culture from discussing Pattinson’s body odor (used to be bad; now, according to Pattinson himself, as crayons).
Considering that, it wouldn’t be out of place to assume that her cooking habits are a bit … weird too. At one point he describes a type of pasta as “like a drop, a kind of wavy drop … it looks like a kind of mess … like a girl’s bun.” (Our working theory is that he is talking about tortellini).
At another time, he worries: “I literally did this yesterday. And now it is simply impossible. I can’t seem to cook at all. “
Either way, you must admire their commitment to the cause. He sets one of his latex gloves on fire while using a lighter to mark his creation with the initials “PC”. He allows “lightning” of electricity to destroy his microwave in the process of preparing this dish. And he performs this trick without concern for his personal safety. (It is unclear who will pay for the broken microwave.)
As for sugar, he says, “You really need to freeze everything in a huge amount of sugar and cheese,” which is also my approach to cooking indoors, just enough.
A commitment to chaos is practically Pattinson’s MO, according to the directors he has worked with. In the profile, Robert Eggers describes him as “Andy Kaufman-esque in real life. Rob is so dry that he’s a goal. You say,” Is it funny? “, Like” I have no idea what’s going on. “
In the piece, Pattinson also claims he can’t remember the plot of Tenet, an upcoming movie he just starred in directed by Christopher Nolan. Baron then calls Nolan to see if they are playing it. The answer: “The interesting thing about Rob is that he’s a little screwed up with you.”
Is it possible that he, like everyone else, is simply going crazy on iso?
More than most people, Pattinson is used to being isolated. He has spent much of his life hiding from the paparazzi, once famous at the home of Reese Witherspoon, a goof that I think about all too often.
In the interview, he seems to be dealing as well as any of us. Although he’s destined to play Batman, he’s barely exercising (my hero) and taking great liberties with his Batman diet: “I’m going to have oatmeal with, like, vanilla protein powder.” And I’ll just mix it up. It is remarkably easy. Like, like cans and stuff. I will literally put Tabasco in a can of tuna and just eat it from the can. “
It also has another highly identifiable iso-habit: obsessively sending emails to people. It’s just something he’s always done. “I’ve been sending an email to this guy recently who is absolutely terrified of me … Eventually he passed my email to one of the actresses in his movie so she could speak to me instead … I thought it had been like two years and six months between each email, but they are only a few weeks apart. “
Does it look like it was made for isolation?
That’s the working theory behind the whole profile, yes. And if the surprising accompanying self-portraits have anything to do with it, he, raw and unshaven, in flip-flops with $ 155 socks tied around his calves, also has a second career as a freelance photographer.
But I hope that isolation becomes a golden age for celebrity interviews in general. This is the kind of lengthy profile you had read in Rolling Stone or Playboy from the ’70s. Nowadays, interviews are handled much more on stage, but it’s impossible to control their talent in the running of the bulls. At one point, Pattinson’s publicist calls him and asks if he will need to clean up any mess after his interview, and he says, “I don’t even remember anything I said.”
It’s also happening in The Guardian: Brigid Delaney ended up orchestrating a house swap with Miriam Margoyles the other day. At the Washington Post, Geoff Edgers is doing live broadcasts of hours with famous people. They’re all a little off track, and if that means more microwave paste for us to consume, I’m here for that. – Guardian
