After nearly a month of silence following the loss of a third child, model doll and cookbook author Chrissy Tagin shared her pregnancy troubles and grief story in a personal essay on Tuesday, which she posted on the website Medium.
She and her husband, John Legend, were quietly mourning the loss of their son, Jack, who was still congenital and delivered halfway through Mr. Tigen’s pregnancy in late September. He wrote in the opening line of the essay, “I don’t know when I will be ready to write this.”
Ms. Tagin, 34, first shared the news of the pregnancy loss on social media, where she has millions of followers. She wrote on Instagram and Twitter, “We’re just shocked and the kind of deep grief you’ve just heard about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before.” The posts included a photo of Mrs. Tegine being thrown on a hospital bed, her body covered only with a blanket and socks issued at the hospital and her hands in a state of prayer. Tears streamed down her face.
In the weeks that followed, she wrote in the essay, she received numerous messages of support and kindness. His words conveyed deep gratitude to the family, friends and fans for spreading love.
“Social media messages from strangers eat up my days, which started very early, ‘You probably won’t read this, but …,'” Ms. Wrote Tigen. “I can assure you, I did.”
This essay details the placental complications, which prompted her doctors to labor in 20 weeks, and the discomfort and sadness after her delivery.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the experience,” Ms. Wrote Taig. “My mom, John and I all held it and said our own private goodbyes, mom crying through Thai prayers. I asked the nurses to show her arms and legs and I kissed her repeatedly. “
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in 100 pregnancies at or above the 20-week mark has a congenital effect, and about 24,000 babies are still born each year. Even when 15 percent of known pregnancies end in first-trimester loss or miscarriage, congenital malformations are rare. Mrs. Tigan has been open about her experience in order to raise awareness about the harms of birth and other types of pregnancy.
Initially, Ms. Tegin was criticized for posting photos from the hospital, including an image of her holding her unborn son; She addressed those critics directly in her essay.
“I can’t express how little I care that I hate you with photos. “I care a little bit that it’s something you wouldn’t have done,” she wrote. “I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos are not for anyone but these people are alive or so curious that it’s amazing what something like this is. These photos are for people in need only. ”
Throughout her pregnancy, Ms. Tagin faced placenta problems, he wrote. This was the first time he had been diagnosed with a partial placental rupture.
Partial placenta rupture occurs when the placenta separates from the lining of the uterus, causing the mother to bleed and deprive the fetus of oxygen and nutrients. It is a rare diagnosis, according to the National Institutes of Health. This complication puts both the mother and the fetus at risk, Ms. Tigen said, as a doctor explained to her before delivery.
“He just can’t escape from this, and if he goes ahead now I probably won’t take anything.” Wrote Taig. “We tried bags and blood-sucking bags, each one going through me exactly as if we had done nothing. Late at night, I was told it would be my turn to leave in the morning. ”
She described her complex emotions: her grief, her uneasiness, her happiness, her guilt, and her love.
“People say that an experience like this makes a hole in your heart,” he wrote. “A hole was definitely made, but it was filled with the love of something I loved so much. It doesn’t seem empty, this space. It looks perfect. “
Ms. Tygen, who wrote that she, 4, Luna and Miles, 2, spends time with their children, urged her readers to be open about their stories of loss and grief. He wrote, “I urge you to please share your stories and be kind to those who touch their hearts.” “Be kind in general, as some will not redden them at all.”
