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So what is a talk show? Simply put, it is a foreign name for stand-up comedy and stand-up comedy. Everyone knows the environment in mainland China. The CCP is very strict on censorship and control of content, so it is about lifestyle comedy, and political talk shows cannot be developed at all. Even actors dare to speak and television stations dare not. To transmit.
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Today is New Years Eve, so let’s not talk about serious things. Let’s put together the political jokes of 2020 in a light and witty way. Because these jokes have not been polished in a small theater, they are not talk shows, but national talk show actors are welcome. As long as you dare to speak!
[Micro Video]From the canal parting[China Ban News]no one knew or saw it at first. It would be nice to leave a message. How can this be a channel? It is loneliness. I even miss my 50 cents. It’s okay to be scolded, but the party organization hasn’t forgotten me yet. The 50 cents came early and I saw these comments. , I feel very relieved, because you don’t scold me, I don’t know if I’m right. Let’s talk about 2020.
The biggest event in 2020 will be the CCP virus epidemic. Who would have thought that this epidemic would have the effect of cracking down on counterfeiting? Netizens from mainland China said: “Wuhan duck neck on the ground floor of the community finally admitted that it was fake, not from Wuhan, but from a local duck.” There was also a new Beijing problem in June. There was a case of contagion in the local vegetable market and then Beijing threw the pot at imported seafood from abroad, such as crab, lobster and salmon. Finally, the virus was said to have been found on a cutting board for cutting salmon. Then the national sushi restaurant posted a notice saying that the ingredients marked “salmon” in this restaurant are all national red trout, and the red letter is wrong, it should be a rainbow.
Beijing is not only a large amount of fake salmon, the virus test logic is also problematic, the salmon cutting board has the virus, it can not be proven that the virus was brought in by imported salmon, you must test salmon to show that the salmon has a problem. Only the virus on the cutting board does not prove there is a problem with the salmon Can the leader with the virus cut the salmon and eat it? !
Sure enough, the CCP official came out to refute the rumor, saying that this salmon is not a carrier of the virus. What I want to know now is that the owner of the sushi restaurant heard this news, did he regret his intestines and did he not learn the art of war well? If the enemy doesn’t move, I won’t move. You can’t believe the rumor of the Communist Party. You jumped so early to admit you were selling fakes. Are you deluded Should you include salmon or rainbow trout on your menu? !
There are pros and cons to everything. Although the CCP has taken on sushi restaurants and seafood companies, I am very happy as a seafood fan. As the demand for seafood in China has declined, the price of salmon in Canada has dropped and even the price of lobster. I hope the CCP will shift the blame for the national virus outbreak to Canadian lobsters, so that you can eat lobsters as snacks.
The CCP not only has trouble with the logic of verifying that salmon contains viruses, it also has trouble with the logic of testing people. On March 24, an international student returning from the United States was quarantined for 14 days, and after three nucleic acid tests came back negative, he went out to a party and sang after returning home on April 8. Symptoms appeared on the 10th, the diagnosis was confirmed on the 14th, and her brother, mother, and grandfather were also diagnosed on the 15th. However, the CCP concluded that it was a case imported from abroad. Look at this logic. Beijing has already quarantined people, tested them, and released them all. How can you say that this is imported from abroad? Obviously this is a national infection. If you insist on saying that you got infected from abroad, you should say that the test strip for the test is not accurate three times.
The CCP also donated this reagent to various countries. When the Japanese delivered materials to China, he said: “Mountains and rivers are different, the wind and the moon are in the same sky.” The netizen asked, what should we write about the test reagents that China gives to Japan? Some people say, “I don’t know how to try it again, just try it a couple of times; it’s not possible, stay home.”
Everyone knows that the head of the company likes to draw cakes for the employees, and tomorrow he will appear on the list. The CCP experts also like to pull out a big cake, saying that after the epidemic is over, there will be 50 billion investment, “retaliatory consumption” and “retaliatory childbirth.” After October, the OB-GYN department will be busy and people across the country will be able to complete Tire Index. Who would have thought that the divorce came first before the child arrived? On June 16, the divorce rate was not available online in Shenzhen, and the divorce was retaliation.
This is also understandable. I worry that the CCP will block me every day. How can I be in the mood to have a child? Being condescending is scary. As soon as the couple fell asleep, they heard a ding ding bang outside the door, and the husband asked, who is it? The director of the outer street said: “Pharaoh, you just returned from Wuhan, please seal your door first.” The husband was relieved and hurriedly yelled, the pharaoh is next door, go seal the next door and then think about it, why find the pharaoh to find my home? The couple quarreled again, the second child does not play, the second marriage is hopeful.
Throughout 2020, the feelings of overseas Chinese towards China are very complicated. It feels like a “besieged city”. Outsiders want to go back to China and cannot return, while insiders want to go abroad and cannot. In recent years, the CCP made two “Wolf Warriors” movies, which turned the CCP into a US military: “No matter where you are, you can take it home.” I won’t let you go home if something happens in 2020. The CCP has blocked Heilongjiang and Russia’s land passenger ports. The CCP’s ambassador to Russia told the Chinese in Russia that returning to the country would cause problems for the party. This behavior was “disgusting”. I wondered, what about the “war wolf” that was said? That’s not what you said when you convinced the Chinese to buy movie tickets. Wu Jing owed all Chinese a ticket.
Speaking of airfare, everyone knows that when the epidemic broke out, airfare to return to China was very expensive. Even if they were wealthy in economy class, there are still some local tyrants who are unwilling to fly back to China with us for fear of being infected by us. After studying for a long time, they spent 600,000 on a special plane to return to China, he was the only one in the whole plane. As a result, I was dumbfounded when I got off the plane in Beijing, so I met in the airport lobby with friends in economy class to isolate myself. The two looked at each other in silence, and the local tyrant thought in his heart that 600,000 yuan had been spent; his friend thought 600,000 yuan was saved. Someone may want to ask, is there something about Zhao Pei here? Am I missing 600,000? Missing, missing truth, what is missing even more is the opportunity to spend 600,000 yuan. The CCP won’t let me return to China.
Air ticket is expensive and all quarantine costs need to be paid by yourself, which is more than 8,000 yuan. What is this concept? After Beijing announced that the epidemic had stabilized, a double room in a four-star hotel cost 88 yuan a night, was quarantined for 14 days, and the accommodation fee was 1,232 yuan. What will the remaining 6,000 do? But the food was very average and everyone was greedy for the Communist Party. Everyone is also helpless. That’s. Foreign media also promoted that international students in quarantine would eat crayfish. This is nothing. My local tyrant friends still eat salmon. Anyway, they pay out of their own pockets. Of course, the local tyrant eats rainbow trout. He doesn’t know yet, because he doesn’t watch my micro-videos.
“Siege” is that people who want to enter cannot enter, and the Communist Party does not want everyone to go abroad. Now China needs to apply for a passport and it must be approved online. It is estimated that it will soon be changed to a fee. What are you afraid of? Hey? I am afraid of leaking news. In February, Nanning, Guangxi, announced that there was no epidemic, but it was dismantled by a foreign student. The foreign student was diagnosed as soon as he landed on the plane back to Canada. The Nanning government quarantined the foreign student’s father when things were not going well. You can see that this matter is everything, leaving a country has become a leak of state secrets.
Some friends are not convinced, why don’t I talk about China when I talk about Canada? Well, let’s talk about Canada. There was also an incident in Canada. After the Vancouver family returned to Canada, they were isolated in a hotel for 14 days and asked the government for money, but the Canadian government did not pay. The Chinese media used this issue to defend Beijing, and Canada also paid for the publicly funded isolation. Seeing this news, the Canadian government was not convinced. It is the rule of people who must have symptoms of the virus for public expenses. If your whole family has no symptoms, go to the hotel and naturally pay yourself. This is nothing. Do you know what this family did when they left Canada? I sold my house and traveled all over the world, after my return I stayed in a hotel under the name of isolation.
What do you think of this type of Chinese media? It’s all fake news. These media also praised the CCP’s “square cabin hospital.” This square cabin hospital places all suspected cases, asymptomatic patients and patients with mild symptoms in one room. What about the CCP’s good isolation? A little more people will become a store. This is to mix the virus in these people evenly. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t get sick before you came. Anyway, when you go out, make sure that you have recovered from the illness. The people who can get out are not the CCP that cured him. That is his life. Big.
We have said many things in our micro-video in advance in 2020. For example, we predicted that the ballots sent by mail from the United States were fraudulent. We talked about it before the election, but they don’t count as Trump-nominated judges. Eye is also betrayed. But in 2020, I think the most valuable experience is the self-help process for people in Wuhan and Hubei. They all spontaneously stole vegetables from WeChat groups and smuggled vegetables from the CCP blockade to the community. Although they disbanded after being informed, let’s see. When it comes to the Chinese people, let us put aside the communist regime, autonomy and the future of self-help.
Thank you all and good luck to you all in 2021!
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