[ad_1]
Sunny Beach seeks to hire tourists
*****
In Sunny Beach it was cheaper to lie on a prostitute than on a deck chair.
*****
Ivancho:
– Dad, I have a pair today.
“Why is that?” What didn’t you learn this time?
“On the contrary, I told myself everything!” The teacher asked what Sunny Beach and Pliska were and I immediately answered “cognacs” …
– Well, well, don’t you remember they are settlements ?!
– Abe and I thought it was strange in geography class to talk about alcohol, but go ahead!
*****
A man comes home in the middle of the night drunk as a spike. His wife hears the sound of a fall and peers into the kitchen. Staring into the darkness, the man opened the refrigerator and spoke to the light inside.
– Taxi, drive to Sunny Beach!
Silently, his wife lies down with a mischievous smile. After two hours she gets up to the bathroom, peeks out again and finds the same image.
– Taxi, drive to Sunny Beach! – The man continues insisting in front of the refrigerator.
The woman lies down again to sleep. In the morning she gets up, goes into the kitchen and looks neither at the man nor at the refrigerator!
– Ego you! she exclaims. “She stabbed her!”
*****
– Dad, what should I do with these BGN 10 in Sunny Beach?
“Smash them!” Once you live!
*****
In Sunny Beach, if you’re not wearing a tracksuit and flip-flops, people speak to you in English.
*****
Bulgarian saying:
“Better a storm in Halkidiki than a bill in Sunny Beach.”
*****
A babysitter walks into a bar in Sunny Beach:
“Waiter, a beer, please!”
The waiter, however, stared at a customer who had fulfilled the order.
– 20 cam, please!
The kangaroo pays and drinks the beer.
“Hey, I’ve never seen a kangaroo before, much less drink beer …”
“Well, you won’t see him again … at these prices … I’m going to Greece.”
*****
Registration at a hotel in Sunny Beach:
“The hotel will be closed in July and August. We are on vacation in Greece.”
*****
Sunny beach:
“Come on, Pesho, I see your wife has a very strong killer whale tattoo on her belly.”
“Now he is a killer whale.” Ten years ago it was a dolphin.
*****
There are two sharks:
– And this summer I swam around Cyprus, tourists so plump – a layer of bacon, a layer of place … It was a very pleasant summer.
– And I decided to swim around Sunny Beach for a very short time.
– Are you crazy? That there are only drunkards …
– Well, it’s true, but what a liver they have.
*****
I’m walking through Sunny Beach and you, three samurai will find me. Asked them:
“As you are?”
Ah, they:
– We are not the Seven Samurai!
“So you only have three?”
“No staff, brother.”
*****
Two Bulgarians killed two German women in Sunny Beach, but they got so drunk that they couldn’t do anything. The next morning, one yells at the other:
– It’s good that it was me to defend the honor of Bulgaria!
– How?
“I told them we were Romanians.”
*****
Assen goes to Sunny Beach with a business travel brigade, they will build a new hotel.
Marche, tell me now what can we bring you from the sea, okay?
– Oh, Assen, this time something is being discussed!
*****
Sunny beach:
– Is this the first time you come to our hotel?
– Has anyone come twice?
*****
Fairy tales are not what they used to be. Mowgli was not found in the jungle, but in a forest near Sunny Beach … And if you see a black cat crossing the street, followed by a black dog, a black mouse, a black grandmother and a black granddaughter, then grandpa He did not take out a turnip, but a high voltage cable.
*****
– In which countries have you been?
– Italy, France and Sunny Beach!
*****
Two Germans sitting on the beach in Sunny Beach, looking out to sea, are talking:
“Gunther, look how much water!”
“Yes, Marcus, I noticed.”
– Can you imagine if it wasn’t water, but beer?
– Hey, how much beer is this.
*****
When the town’s grandfather Penyo was asked if he had a Twitter account, he proudly replied that he had touched her in Sunny Beach in 1981, but his doctor cured him.
*****
Hot summer day in Sunny Beach. A savior lazily inspects the perimeter of the water entrusted to him. Suddenly he sees a man drowning. He jumps, jumps into the water and swims towards him. It turns out that the man who is drowning is a huge face. The rescuer finally managed to get him out of the water and started giving him artificial respiration. A crowd gathered around him and another cannon bent over the drowning man. The rescuer fiercely pumped into the drowning man’s chest, and a fountain of seawater gushed out of his mouth each time he pressed it. The rescuer pumps, pumps, and the water flies, flies. After 15 minutes, the other whisperer clapped him on the shoulder:
“Marine, get your ass out of the water!” The way you drove it, it’ll pump the whole sea.
*****
Sunny beach. August night.
A horrible German rushes towards a patrolling policeman:
“Herr cop, there’s a man having sex under the pier.”
– Bulgaria is a free country, sir! We respect love!
– But he has sex with a corpse …
– Calm down! I passed by and looked. It seemed to you! It is not a corpse! She is English!
*****
He:
– Excuse me, weren’t you engaged last year?
– Possible if you were in Sunny Beach in July.
*****
Sunny beach. A nice boy leaves, sits in the car and says goodbye through the window of a beautiful babe with whom they had sex a while ago. Before panting and walking away, he says:
“You know, the dollars I paid you with are fake, so get smarter with them!”
“Okay honey, I’ll keep that in mind, but you should know that the trip I gave you is real.”
*****
How can you recognize Bulgarians in Sunny Beach or another native resort?
Stand on a stoplight sidewalk and see who turns red!
*****
T-shirts with the inscription are specially placed for walks around Sunny Beach:
“No thanks!”
*****
– Abe, what is “beach sun”?
“Motherfucker.” Where did you read it?
“It’s written on your shirt.”
– Ah, so it’s “Sunny Beach”.
[ad_2]
