Photo: Liane Hentscher / Netflix /
Welcome to Sea City babysitters! It’s spring break (this fictional year flies by and I don’t hate it) and Stacey and Mary Anne took care of BSC’s first trip job: they’ll head to the beach during the week to see the eight Pike kids. Yes folks, that’s “Pike” like Mallory Pike. I imagine many viewers already know who Mallory is in the great tradition of The Nanny Club, but only in case it only says that the older Pike will return at a later date.
Stacey and Mary Anne are excited to be paid to go on vacation (Richard Spier is a mess, obviously), but the other girls already miss their friends. Sure, it’s only a week, but these girls are best friends forever. Capital letters mean it is serious. Didn’t you want to get into that group hug? The two people who are going to leave have many plans for a fun but responsible week. Kristy is already on them to uphold the BSC Code of Conduct, even in a different zip code. Things seem to start as well as Stacey and Mary Anne planned, aside from multiple car trip vomiting incidents and less-than-ideal weather, but all of those plans are thrown into the cold, rough sea the moment Scott the Lifeguard appears.
Who is Scott the Lifeguard, you ask? A 17-year-old fool who plunges into Stacey’s heart even though she hardly realizes her insane amount of flirting, condescendingly calls her “pretty”, gives her her trash, excuse me, her lifeguard whistle, and also I suppose responsible for the life of the people on that beach. Anyway, this may be the Stacey episode, but let’s be honest: Mary Anne is the real heroine here. He immediately acknowledges that Stacey is being a bit ridiculous, (1) because of the inappropriate age difference, and (2) because those women have a job to do and Stacey is swallowing it to bring Scott drinks and … pose with Honey in your general neighborhood while he ignores her?
Mary Anne is not thrilled to have to look at all eight Pikes alone. She is especially not thrilled when they bury her in the sand and leave her for the seagulls. Fortunately, two very nice, age-appropriate boys, Alex and Cousin Toby from Canada, help her. They get along well because those guys are lovely and I really approve of the tweens who already tell dad jokes. When Stacey learns that Scott is going to Burger Garden, where he will be “eating hamburgers,” a phrase that will bring me joy for years to come, she kidnaps her free night to “bump into him” there. Mary Anne makes Alex and Cousin Toby come and Stacey proceeds to ignore them all, despite Toby being clearly interested in her. He decides he’ll beat Scott with a box of chocolates, proving once and for all that he shouldn’t be chasing a 17-year-old. Stay with Sam, Stace! Sam has no complications! Sam draws blenders!
She totally humbles herself in front of Scott and his high school friends. Toby tries to save the day, but the damage has already been done. Back at Pike’s beach house, Stacey learns that little Byron Pike is in love with her and has to explain that he is too young and that he puts the whole situation in perspective. Fortunately, she has come to this conclusion in time for a great day at the beach. She “didn’t care if some kid knew who [she] it was because [she] I knew it. “Oh dear, these girls are growing before our very eyes!
This also means that he can apologize to Mary Anne for being a terrible friend, although he did buy them cheesy matching airbrush shirts, and that’s nothing. Plus, Mary Anne has her own positive side – she used to be so intimidated by how cool and sophisticated she thought Stacey was and now she finds out she’s a big jerk like the rest of them. Honestly, that’s a lesson to take with you regardless of your age. Oh, and also, Toby shows up to say goodbye to Stacey with his own gift and he kisses the boy. Her first kiss. Sea City is not that bad after all.
Back at Stoneybrook, Kristy is also starting to see someone in a different way: She could finally appear in Watson Brewer. She is tasked with looking after Karen and Andrew. She tricks them into doing some chores, which I guess includes washing Watson’s fancy car that he doesn’t really drive. Kristy manages to shut herself up in a kind of mud room in hopes of finding some dirt in Watson and it has to do with horror how Karen and Andrew “wash” the car with steel wool.
Watson calls Kristy (she has to block her number from answering, Kristy is funny) to give her a chance to clear up. She pours it all out and Watson is much more understanding than Kristy deserves. He tells her that he has no secrets hidden in the mud rooms, he is a normal guy. He also doesn’t think they need to tell Liz about this. He is a great guy! Kristy begins to soften up and quickly tells him that she really likes her new bedroom in her house and then hangs up immediately before he can reply. He seems very happy about that. You are making progress!
• Oh, Sharon and Richard are so again. Dawn and Mary Anne are tired of this break where their parents are and begin their Parent Trap plan (complete with full handshake, they are true fans!). The “plan” is mainly Dawn calling Richard and pretending to be his mother, but she is a terrible actress. Even if she hadn’t given it away before inviting Richard to “come on the rocks”, that really would have. Only Sharon’s reminder pushes Richard to offer an olive branch through a pet turtle (“turtle” was her favorite name for her in high school) and a note saying “I’m sorry, I went back to my shell.” Honestly, buying someone a pet is not a gift, it is a job, but we will accept it because Sharon and Richie are made for each other.
• Vanessa Pike, who is in a dark and twisted “poetry phase,” is another great addition to the Stoneybrook Quirky Kids. I love you all!
• There are many embarrassing things you could say to the older child that you like, but “Holla at moi” is at the top of the list.
• “Mary Anne, talk to him. Or, you will spend the rest of your life wondering if his legs will feel like jelly when he sees you. Alex !!!
• Well, then we met Mal, where is Jessi?
