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“Caregivers provide emotions,” said trauma psychologist Cornel Binder-Krieglstein. “Parents do not have to be confident in all situations,” emphasized sociologist Ulrike Zartler of the University of Vienna. You should not pretend that you are not emotionally affected.
First, digest the terrible news yourself.
Binder-Krieglstein advises against passing on the information about the terrible news without filtering anything, in order to “emotionally pre-digest” the message yourself. The choice of words, the tone of the voice and the affection – whether something is transmitted slowly or slowly – are decisive for the children’s explanation. To be authentic, what has happened must be transmitted in a “coherent, sustainable, constant, solution-oriented and i-syntonic” way.
Explain the situation to the children in an age-appropriate way.
First of all, parents’ emotions must be classified, what does that mean for an individual? Then the mother and father should think about what this means for the family, if there is a potential risk and what to do next. After that, everything must be passed on to the child in accordance with his age. “I will explain the situation to a two-year-old differently than a twelve-year-old,” Binder Krieglstein said.
Children trust their primary caregivers, whether with the coronavirus, terror, or love sickness. And they are entitled to authentic answers to their questions. “Being helpless and running around without a head” doesn’t help.
Terrorist attack: sharp and threatening
Children have been suffering from the Corona crisis for months, initially in homeschooling and when physically assisted classes finally started again, the second shutdown was announced. “Since March we have had an exceptional situation that has led to resignation and new rules,” said the trauma psychologist. And now, according to Binder-Krieglstein, the “icing on the cake” has arrived, the terrorist attack in Vienna.
However, the crisis in the crown differs from the terrorist attack, which was sharp and threatening very quickly, but will quickly stabilize again. But the pandemic “will keep us busy for longer,” Binder-Krieglstein said. As one gets used to the circumstances of the Corona crisis, like wearing a mask, “we don’t get used to scenarios of violence and threats,” he said.
Don’t underestimate the effects of trauma on children.
It should not be underestimated that the children were in an exceptional situation before the attack due to the constant uncertainty during the corona pandemic, Zartler also emphasized to the APA. Parents too “are already on the attack,” said the sociologist, who has been investigating the effects of the pandemic on families since March. The fact that this threatening event occurs can also be traumatic for children. “That should not be underestimated.”
“Attack on personal integrity”
The phenomenon of terrorist attacks is not new. “But it creates a huge uncertainty that something like this is also possible with us,” Zartler said. For children in Vienna in particular, attacks in places they know themselves and where they have already been are “also an attack on their own personal integrity.”
Discuss in detail and provide stability
For Zartler, too, the most important thing is that parents discuss the situation with their children in an age-appropriate way and give them stability by assuring them that they are safe and that the police will clarify the situation. Children’s fantasies, for example, of attackers at the door, should be discussed from the beginning. “Otherwise, fears and nightmares may arise.”
Similar to the recommendations that the child protection center “Die Möwe” sent out on Tuesday: Parents should explain objectively and in age-appropriate language what happened, without exaggerating or ridiculing the emotion. “Children often approach these events in a very pragmatic way,” says “Möwe” CEO Hedwig Wölfl. In addition, parents must give their children security, on the one hand increasing trust in the police to avoid danger, on the other hand maintaining normality (having breakfast as usual, making plans for the day). The decision on whether the children will be taken to school or kindergarten must be made by the parents and they must also respect the agreed times.
Challenges for educators
Zartler sees a particular challenge for pedagogues in Vienna’s kindergartens and schools. After all, they would first have to find out what their parents told them about the attack of each child being cared for there today and then explain to them why most of the other children and youth are not there.
People in mental crisis can contact emergency psychiatric help around the clock at (01) 31 330.
(Those: APA)
