To celebrate its limited opening and the 100th anniversary, AMC is offering tickets at the 1920 price of 15 cents.
Because nothing says better “social distance” than the cinematic equivalent of an open bar.
Not in California, where theaters remain closed due to COVID-19, but in many states, including coronavirus hotspots Georgia, Kentucky and Louisiana, 100 AMC theaters will open their doors on August 20th. The price point of 15 cents is only good for that one day, but with the additional 200 or so theaters planning to open between that date and early September, the chain will show classic films for only $ 5.
The exhibitor strongly “advises” that tickets be purchased online or through his app. But cards will also be available in the usual way – from vending machines and at the office. What makes such a remarkable sale resembles a call for crowds. And if you were to price things out of time periods that existed for the Internet (at this point, $ 5 seems almost as absurd as 15 cents, though easier to come by the current currency shortage), then you might be best prepared for online to return as a rule.
Do you remember Amazon selling gas and other items to ‘The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s prizes as a one-day Emmy stunt, which gridlocked the entire Westside and nearly broke the 10? Now translate that to cineplex foot traffic. During a pandemic.
See, no one wants to return to a movie theater more than I do – well, OK, my 13-year-old might want it a little more – but I do not think a marketing stunt that seems like an attempt to lure people into theaters with financial incentives is the best decision that has ever been made. Historically, no one is running faster for free goods than rich people (please see all those prosecutions of PPP loan fraud), but 15-cent films will be very hard for low-income families to resist. You know, the same families are currently being hit the hardest by COVID-19.
Rich people like free stuff, but usually not when it comes to part of a clinical trial.
Which this is absolutely. AMC seems to be doing everything a cinema chain can do to open responsibly during a pandemic – auditoriums will be at 30% capacity or less, masks will be required (and if you forget, you can buy one for a dollar), antibacterial gel kiosks will replace condiment displays, and refills on popcorn and beverages will be canceled until further notice.
But with people who get coronavirus at outdoor meetings and when eating frescoes in cafes, there are certainly risks involved.
Especially with the added appeal of reduced-price concession items that AMC is offering to welcome patterns back, which also seems like a good intention poorly executed.
Again, I miss my movie shop popcorn and extra large drinks chilled by that coarse soda dispenser ice cream, but how exactly will this work with the masks? Maybe you can slide a straw up with little or no harm done but popcorn? That is a common challenge under normal circumstances, so the mask will have to come off. And, if you eat popcorn like I do, stay away for the whole movie.
Imagine for a second you were transposed into the karmic driven world of Earl. Imagine for a second you were transposed into the karmic driven world of Earl. Stampedes are rarely events of social distance.
So maybe we should just skip the popcorn. Like my mom used to say when I was young and we could not play theater popcorn, if you need popcorn to watch a movie, you do not really want to see a movie. Also, Skittles and Junior Mints seem to be much more mask-friendly treats.
Even without the issue of food, adhering to mask will be a bit tricky. It seems like every day a young barista or cashier is bullied or even beaten by some moron who does not believe in science or the respiratory system and seems to believe that the Constitution guarantees their right to fight state demands and life of endangering the people around them. You might stop people like this at the door, but how will you prevent them from removing their masks when the lights go out?
Maybe a brief quiz on what the constitution does and does not guarantee would help.
On planes, which also require strangers to share hours of space and air, there are flight attendants, sharp-eyed, soft-spoken and empowered by TSA, whose job it is to make sure everyone’s face stays covered for the duration of the flight. But how does that work in theaters?
Will there be robbing bands of masked mask sheriffs? Will they be trained in military tactics? Because of pre-pandemics, we could not even get certain people to shut up their freaking phones at the movies, so I would recommend a team of former Navy SEALs, or maybe nuns in high school.
(Oh, and to the man who freaked me out while I was usually standing behind him in the pharmacy and everyone like him, the mask should cover your nose as well as your mouth. Why on earth do you not understand this?)
Of course, there is always the chance that patrons will be so grateful to sit back in the cool, quiet comfort of the magical darkness that the risk of dismissal will only ensure that they follow AMC’s rules. We all want to go back to the movies, but not in a big wild rush. If California’s bot proof proved anything else, then it’s that we should not do anything that requires physical participation in a major wild rush.
That’s the reason why AMC, back to my original point, does not need a major marketing campaign, and certainly not one that risks a foot traffic frenzy by re-marking it with large bargains. Everyone knows that theater chains have taken a financial toll, just as everyone is aware that ensuring compliance with social distance and other security measures will require more staffing and other changes, which in turn will cost money.
After years of embarrassment over ever-increasing ticket prices, this is the first time that movie tickets in the teenage years years are making sense. I would feel much more comfortable paying full price to make sure there are enough staff to move things safely and that said staff is reasonably compensated for a job that is apparently not as safe as in 1920 or even 2019.
Hell, to get my kids out of the house for a few hours, I’ll even pay a little extra.
