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Married without ceremony, without a dowry, the boy’s family and the girl’s family reduce the economic burden, 2 children are born just as they are from their father or mother, avoid giving custody to both sides of the foreigner, a hot trend of marriage. Chinese new youth really brings as many benefits as speculation?
Marriage in the style “both sides get married”
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Recently, there has been a surge of young Chinese in a new marriage trend called “both sides get married”, not men marrying women back to their marriages, not women marrying men. After getting married, everyone stays at home, couples usually have 2 children, the first bears the father’s last name, the husband’s main family, the second child bears the mother’s last name, the wife’s main family and grandparents . Both sides are called grandparents.
Xiao Xi and Xiao Tranh are an 8X couple living in Hangzhou City, Zhejiang Province (China), and they are both only children. Before joining, the two parties agreed that after marrying Tieu Tay she can stay at her parents’ or in-laws’ house, otherwise Tieu Tranh can comfortably go to her in-laws’ house. The two families also discussed that Tieu Tranh and his wife have 2 children, according to the birth order, the older son will follow the father’s last name and the youngest will follow the mother’s last name.
This form of marriage started in area 2 of Zhejiang – Jiangsu Province (China) in recent years. “The two parties get married” is described by the locals with the phrases “neither inside nor outside”, “not marrying”, “two partners of the union”, which implies “my family does not have to marry a daughter, in You also don’t have to remarry your daughter.
Boys’ families are warm, she is
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It can be said that the choice of “both sides to marry” is a normal necessity of families with only one child (according to the ancient Chinese policy of one child). Do Bang, a lawyer for the Zhejiang Shunde Law Office, said: “Local people often say” choose a son-in-law from one place to another, finally choose a lazy boyfriend “, this is the common mentality of families who” marry a son-in-law “to go home in a traditional way”, once they have to stay. The son-in-law, the child who is born does not have my last name, but the last name of the wife, this family also has no part, I came alone to complete the “birth task”.
By living with that mindset, people who stay in the law for a long time will gradually lose their sense of responsibility; In addition, the son-in-law can marry the usual bride, which is the bride’s family with more outstanding economic conditions, asks the son-in-law to abandon his family, and inevitably prevents and discriminates against his son-in-law, according to which there is a lot of instability.
“The two parties get married” helps families avoid the above situation, because with this type of marriage, the groom’s family does not need to be educated, the bride’s family has no dowry, no one will marry anyone. If someone is married, everyone has a child following their surname, compared to in-laws, this type of marriage is not under great psychological pressure.
Strange happiness of the big family “both sides get married”
“Personally, I think that” both parties get married “meets the psychological needs as well as the actual situation of both parties.” – Do Bang said.
Except for the above, there is another characteristic that “both parties get married” have a different characteristic from traditional marriage, that is, once married, a young couple can live with their in-laws or in-laws, or alternating between the 2 houses. The main reason for the “two unionists” is that the fast pace of modern life makes it possible for many young couples not to be able to afford their own house, they do not have time to take care of their children, you can only ask the parents.
Duong Tue Le, Deputy Director of the Family Committee, Law Office of Nac Luc Asia (Zhejiang, China) commented: “There is still a large part of the young people who get married, but they are warm: she recruits an only child, the parents’ family has better conditions, the independent ability in life is poor, so they are extremely dependent parents. biological. “
Hundreds of harmless benefits?
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Yang Hong, a lawyer with the Ziyi Zhejiang Legal Department, agrees: “I think that this type of marriage” does not come and go “is a new form of social exploration, quite good, beneficial to strengthen harmony in the family.
Through the study process of “the two parties get married” for a long time, Duong Hong summed up: “First of all,” married “families often agree to have two children, actively responding to the country’s fertility policy, reducing the population aging rate. Furthermore, there are no barriers to ceremonies and reincarnations. Topic, the economic pressure on the boys and the girls’ family has been reduced. The boy follows the father’s surname, avoiding the paternity conflict between the two families. “
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However, the marriage “both sides marry” does not have a hundred harmless benefits, in fact it has many “consequences”.
“Maintaining a deep relationship with biological parents, while extremely good, will also weaken the family of a ‘married couple’ marriage. The integrity of a new family and intimacy Not to mention the case that by being able to live comfortably in both sides of the family, it is argued that “there is a small side, much other side”, the husband many times does not want I lived in my wife’s house for too long, afraid of the reputation of my father-in-law. – Duong Tue Le said.
Taking the example of what happened in the house of Tieu Tay and Tieu Tranh’s couple, Tieu Tranh did not want to attend the grave ceremony with his wife’s family, he thought that only one daughter-in-law went to the grave with the her husband’s family, but did not see the son-in-law. from the grave with his wife’s family, so determined not to go. But Tieu Tay said the marriage was “married together”, with the same role in law and in law, everyone had to go. Therefore, the young couple have a fierce conflict.
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There are contradictions that are difficult to reconcile, in fact the families of boys and girls both “hug” a child, if both are of the same sex, of course everyone will be happy, but if 1 male 1 female is born, it will be easy to lead. to dispute. Because the idea of respect for men to look down on women still exists in many regions of China, if the groom’s family has to accept his niece to raise, they will most likely weigh and measure, which could cause a family conflict.
Children born in a “married” family all call their parents’ paternal grandparents, cancel the way of calling the grandparents, causing the child to be confused between relationships. In addition, siblings but being different from them and not living together also slow down the empathy awareness of young children, even grandparents favor their grandchildren, leaving the other one. Injustice affects the formation of a child’s personality.
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Do Bang and Duong Hong expressed support for “getting married”, in general, the benefits outweigh the harm, but Duong Tue Le does not believe that is true, the lawyer believes that the biological parents of the family “The two parties are getting married” they just can’t get rid of the traditional idea of the Chinese family, they find a way to prolong the existence of their own family line, it can be said that “both parties get married” on the surface. New, but hidden behind that, it’s still an old thought, if not outdated.
The lawyers said that people’s attitudes towards the problem of the family line in marriage are becoming more open and civilized, “the two parties get married” is a temporary consequence of a period of social development. It may become more popular in the near future, but once state policy changes on population issues, the future of this new form of marriage still needs time to be verified.
Source: QQ
