‘I’m trapped in a one-bed flat with a toddler, a baby and a leaking fridge freezer – and I can hear people having parties’ … lockdown life for a ‘trapped’ mum

Life in lockdown is difficult for everyone right now, but as time goes on those with children and no space to play are finding it increasingly hard.

One of those parents is Stacey Power and she’s given us her ‘brutally honest’ account of just how much she’s struggling to cope right now.

She agreed to show us the cramped conditions in which she’s living inside her one-bedroom flat in Middleton with six-week-old son Logan and her 16-month-old daughter Frankie-Rae.

The children’s father Matt works for the frontline NHS and is living with his parents to minimize the risk of passing anything on to his family.

When he does stay over, he’s on an airbed in the lounge while Stacey is sharing a bed with the children, surrounding by four bed rails.

There are two cribs in her bedroom, but she’s getting little sleep anyway and says it would be worse if they weren’t in with her as Logan spends much of the night being breastfed.

The rest of the place is cramped too. The tiny kitchen is the only place to fit the double buggy and the highchair, while her single pram – for when Frankie goes out with one parent – is in the small hallway.

For Stacey, whose day can start at anytime from 4am, the short time they are allowed outside is mainly spent going shopping.

Her fridge freezer is broken, leaving puddles of water on her kitchen floor, and she can’t keep anything fresh.

So as well as making regular trips for nappies, wipes and milk, she’s having to buy food each day. Yet money is tight so she’ll often skip meals to make sure her eldest is fed.

She’s worrying what impact the current situation will have on her daughter.

“We’ve just got no room, we’re on top of each other,” said Stacey. “With them waking so early and Frankie not going to bed until 8pm, it’s such a long day to fill.

“I just feel like I’m shouting at my daughter all the time but she’s just fed up and she doesn’t understand.

“She points to the window as she wants to go out and she doesn’t understand why we can’t.

“We used to go to groups like interactive singing groups at the children’s center but we can’t do anything now and I do worry about how much it’s affecting her development.”

Stacey’s is one of 4,000 Greater Manchester families supported by the Home-Start charity in the last year. The support organization helps parents facing all sorts of challenges, from isolation to health problems, poverty and more.

Home visits are out of the question at the minute, but her volunteer is dropping off bits of shopping when she can and offering support over the phone.

That help has never been more vital than it is right now.

Her parents died within a year of each other when Stacey was just 15 and while Matt’s parents live nearby, they’ve yet to meet Logan in the flesh – only seeing him on a video call.

Understandably it’s taken its toll on her mental health and she’s gone from not being on any medication, to taking anti-anxiety tablets propranolol three times a day.

“It hasn’t helped that I had to give birth without Matt there as I’ve needed to be with Frankie, so I had my cousin with me,” said Stacey.

“At two weeks old Logan needed emergency surgery for a hernia as well so I was so worried about that. We almost lost him. I struggle to even talk about it.”

Their daily trip out is either a walk around the block, or more typically a 15-minute walk to their closest Tesco Extra. But once there, the shopping trip is far from easy.

“I know everyone has to queue but sometimes it can take that long. Logan will start screaming, Frankie will be crying because he’s crying and then I’m trying to breastfeed in the queue.

“The security are starting to recognize me now and one of them offered me a seat near the toilets, but on one trip I was asked to leave my buggy at the door with both children inside. I refused and said they must be mad if they thought I would leave them there.

“It can be hard to even get what you need. Sometimes the right size nappies will be out of stock, or I can’t get hold of baby wipes. It’s so difficult.”

When she sees other people still mixing and hearing parties and barbecues happening near her home, Stacey feels others aren’t taking the lockdown seriously enough.

The 27-year-old said: “I’ve seen people in groups and can hear them having parties and I just think why am I making this sacrifice and being stuck in here when nobody seems to be taking this seriously?

“I’m not sitting here for the fun of it. If people had stuck to the rules in the first place then it might not be going on for as long as it is.”

She’s been asking Rochdale Borough Housing for a bigger property since before she had her first child but says she is now desperate to get out.

She was told to keep a record of problems from noise and drug-taking nearby but only recently discovered the case had been closed without her knowledge.

“I know I’ve now been given higher priority but it will might take another year to get out of here,” said Stacey.

“I just feel as though there’s no support for people like me and I feel like such a bad mother because my children are living like this.

“Matt is doing what he can and coming round after work or taking Frankie for an hour, but there’s only so much he can do. I just want this whole thing to end and to get out of this flat.”

Home-Start says there are many parents like Stacey who are in need of support and the organization is expecting that number to grow as the full impact of the pandemic comes comes to light.

Donna Arden-McKenna, CEO of Home-Start Rochdale and Bury, said: “Our worry for families is two-fold. We are extremely worried for those families who were already in crisis before Covid-19 took hold, be that through poverty, poor mental health, or fleeing domestic abuse, but we are also worried about families who were already isolated and are now increasingly isolated.

“We must remember that in 2020, not every family has a family support network nearby, we support many families where this is the case.”

A Tesco spokesperson said: “At this time we recognize that it’s been a lot more difficult to shop with children and we’re working hard to try and help and adapt our stores so we can support customers as much as we can while keeping others safe .

“This does mean some queuing but we’re pleased to hear that security staff are recognizing Miss Power – and many others – and helping to make the process more comfortable for them.