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Angela Rayner had put on her bovver boots. They were fantastic things, the kind the Teddy Boys used to wear when they were partying.
Not for her, the fancy kittens Theresa May used to make. A bump from Rayner’s hoof in these babies could cause serious harm to a man.
The Labor deputy director had just stomped on camera for her debut appearance on PMQ. Johnson vs. Rayner.
As the fighting progresses, this was a lip kiss. I’m surprised Don King didn’t try to put it on PPV.
Labor Deputy Director Angela Rayner investigated Dominic Cummings, suggesting that “ the next time a man with symptoms drives from London to Durham, it will probably be for the closest Covid test. ”
Miss Rayner is a rude but sympathetic bully who dropped out of school at 16 while pregnant, with no grades.
Boris? Well, let’s say Ange wouldn’t mind connecting one of those boots to a soft, sensitive part of his anatomy.
Parking in front of the dispatch box, Rayner gave his colleague Valerie Vaz a sisterly smile.
If there was a flight of butterflies flapping around her belly, she wasn’t showing it.
As the prime minister fell into his seat, Labor’s main whip, Nick Brown, spun around like a Russian doll to growl something in Rayner’s ear. Possibly ‘good luck’. Or more likely: ‘Don’t screw it up, love.’
Rayner started well. Very good. “I have a message from a man named Keir,” he announced, a dig into Jeremy Corbyn’s habit of reading messages from the public.
The government banks laughed gratefully. Keir had reportedly been isolating himself for the past two days while one of his sons waited for a result from one of the government’s creaky testing centers.
Somehow this became a question about nursing homes.
How much, Rayner asked, did the average care worker earn? Boris made that stuttering noise that Hugh Grant used to make in Richard Curtis movies.
Labor leader Keir Starmer (pictured right) skipped PMQs on Wednesday, but came out of quarantine after self-isolating himself for the past two days as one of his sons waited for a result from one of the testing centers at the Government.
‘Uh-uh-ugh, Mr. President. Uh uh uh.’ Chris Bryant (Lab, Rhondda) started to follow suit.
Several other deputies joined. SNP leader Ian Blackford allowed himself a vulpine smile. So did Sir Ed Davey of Lib Dem.
Chances are, none of the pompous puffballs had a clue either, but they reveled in the prime minister’s bewilderment.
Finally, Boris noted that workers have been paid substantially more since the government implemented the living wage.
That was Rayner’s best moment. From then on, it became all wood. That early zap left her.
Turning his attention back to testing, he rehearsed a joke about Dominic Cummings, suggesting that “the next time a man with symptoms drives from London to Durham, it will probably be for the closest Covid test.”
You may have read well during rehearsal, but your delivery was more awkward than an old Lada Riva.
Boris was much better than the last two weeks, apart from a shaky start. He was serious and hardworking.
Johnson v Rayner: Boris Johnson’s blood pressure soared briefly after a silly suggestion from Rayner that the government had allowed the grouse shooting to continue simply because one of Boris’s donors
He also didn’t try to tease or get smart with the understudy. Instead, he treated her with unusual deference. ‘
Of course, the Hon. Lady is right to express the frustration of people across this country at the massive demand now for evidence … ‘
His blood pressure briefly spiked following a silly suggestion from Rayner that the government had allowed the grouse shooting to continue simply because one of Boris’s donors, former Carphone Warehouse mogul David Ross, owns a grouse wasteland.
Horrified groans erupted from the government banks. Boris accused his opponents of “criticizing from the sidelines” on “issues that are tangential.” Attacking the country’s activities is, of course, a Labor obsession.
There is never any consideration for the thousands of poorly paid workers who depend on him for their livelihood.
When Sir Lindsay Hoyle called on time, Rayner stayed for a while. She smiled at her colleagues, showing them a thumbs up.
It was obviously a great moment for her and very fitting too. It is a pity that families are still excluded from the public galleries.
